Hello, friends.
Tomorrow, I'm leaving the state for a few days so that my mother can make me mashed potatoes (hint hint) and my father can spoil my daughter excessively. Also, so that I can hold my new baby niece. Mostly so I can hold my new baby niece.
I put it like that - "leaving the state" - because it's a really positive thing for me nowadays. It's difficult for me to find the positives around here, so I literally have to leave the city (or, preferably, the state) to find them. For example, I had a countdown on my phone for the premiere date of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, and at the end of that countdown, I drove to Oklahoma City to see it. Spoiler alert: there are closer movie theaters. I just needed to get out of here.
That may seem depressing. No, it is depressing. But there's a silver lining in this story. I am making my own mental health a priority. I am recognizing that being here is depressing, and I am taking action to make sure that I go somewhere occasionally that is not depressing. I'm acknowledging my mental state and acting on it. That's a good thing.
I'm not nearly as addicted to NCIS as I used to be, but Gibbs' rules still pop into my brain sometimes. Rule 28: "If you need help, ask." This is another good thing I'm doing - remembering that I am not in this alone, and asking for help when I need it. My daughter informs me that I talk to Lindsey, like, every single day. This is a true fact. And while it's mostly because she's my best friend and I greatly enjoy talking to her, it's also because I know that when I need help, she'll be there. I call her in many and varied circumstances. I call her when I need to rant about bad meetings, and I call her when I need motivation to make a sandwich. Lindsey's definitely the person I contact the most, but there are many others, and I'm learning to rely on them.
I suppose what I'm trying to say while I wait for laundry to finish so I can go to bed is this: your mental health matters just as much as your physical health. Depression and anxiety are real things. (If you have questions about that, check out Elijah in 1st Kings 19 or the entire book of Job or, you know, this Jesus guy in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26.) Don't discount your feelings. Acknowledge them. Work through them. Ask for help. Find your ways to cope. It's okay to not be okay. And if anyone tells you differently... well, they're wrong.
