Hello, friends!
Sometimes, it's painful for me to watch TV shows that depict any kind of depression or anxiety. It just hits too close to home. A recent episode of "Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist" did that to me. I am totally obsessed with that show, but when Zoey's boyfriend Max sang "Say Something" to her, it gave me all the feels. Just listen to this line that gets repeated throughout the song:
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
I'm worried, all the time, about my friends giving up on me because I'm depressed and not always fun to be around. I wonder sometimes if I should do what Zoey does here, and "break up" a friendship so I don't mess it up even further. Of course, my friends have given me zero actual evidence of giving up on me - quite the opposite, in fact - but logic doesn't really matter to depression and anxiety.
I was apprehensive about where the show was going to take Zoey's journey after that, but never fear, the very next episode gave me a different kind of feels. Zoey is telling her friend Simon about trying so hard to feel happy, but feeling like the universe just throws obstacles in her way. He replies,
"Look, you got this, you got a massive hole in your heart that you just can't fill, and I understand that. But the good news is that eventually that hole will scar over. You can wear that scar like a badge of honor. And it won't define you, it'll deepen you, and you'll learn how to draw strength from it. Because scars are tough. They remind us of all the battles we've fought, and how we survived to tell the story."
Let me tell you - the idea of my scars as badges of honor? That's a way of looking at my mental health struggles that I've never considered before. It flips the script. My depression isn't a failure, it's a battle. The fact that I'm still here tells me I'm winning. And someday, I'll be able to look at my scars and tell the story of how I survived.
I'll be stronger on the other side of this.
Thanks, Simon. I was on Team Max, but you're working your way into my heart.
