Hello, friends.
Recently I've caught myself thinking some of these thoughts:
"Man, I'm really not good at this parenting thing."
"I can't believe I didn't notice that she wasn't brushing her hair."
"My house is such a mess... what kind of example am I setting?"
"I should be spending more time with her, but I'm so tired."
"Maybe I shouldn't be doing this."
I didn't take the easy road when I became a foster parent, that's for sure. I've never been one to take the easy road, but this - this is the hardest road I've ever walked. Foster parenting is frustrating and exhausting and overwhelming. I wonder all the time if this was a good decision.
Then I think about where my foster daughter might be if I hadn't taken her in. Yes, this situation is hard for me, but imagine what it's like for her. Here in my home, she knows that she is safe, and loved, and cared for. Those things have never been a guarantee for her before.
So when I find myself thinking about my failures as a parent, I remember that I've been doing this for a grand total of 8 months, and I am not expected to be perfect - just present.
This was never about me. It was always about her.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Sinners, Saints, and Supergirl
Hello, friends. Disclaimer: This became much more intense and potentially divisive than I originally intended.
I've recently been watching the wonderful show Supergirl. It's deep and meaningful and action-packed and also just plain silly at times. I love the idea that Supergirl (Kara) is an all-powerful alien and also a vulnerable person who sometimes needs to decompress over pot stickers with her human sister. It's actually her sister, Alex, who intrigues me the most on the show.
The sisterly bond between Alex and Kara is a joy to watch. They argue, they banter, they save each other's lives, they eat ice cream on the couch and binge watch tv shows, they do what they think is best for the other person with complete disregard for their own safety... Their relationship is the best part about Supergirl.
Beyond her connection to Kara, Alex is a fascinating individual in her own right. She's a bio-engineer, an expert in hand-to-hand combat, and a sharpshooter. She is courageous, independent, and strong. She dedicates her life both to protecting Kara and to protecting innocents. Everything she does is about helping make the world a better place.
She's also lesbian.
I'm well aware that many evangelical Christians would say that her sexual orientation negates all of her good qualities. That her sins outweigh her good works.
That is true for all of us.
I work for a confessional Lutheran church and I do believe that homosexuality is a sin. I also believe that lust, disrespecting your parents, cheating on homework, and idolizing sports teams and celebrities are sins. There are no perfect people. Romans 3:23 reminds us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." All means all. All means you. All means me.
I struggle with sin. In college, and again in Florida, I struggled with sin so much that I went to a trusted mentor and confessed it with repentance in my heart. And do you know what they told me? They told me that I was forgiven. They reminded me of the next verse in Romans that reads, "and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." I was convinced, and sometimes still am, that my sins were beyond forgiveness. That my sins were too big and too bad for God. But nothing is too big and too bad for God, and I am forgiven and free. I know my mentors well enough to say that if my sin had been homosexuality, and I had come to them and confessed it with repentance in my heart, they would have told me exactly the same thing - that I was forgiven. Because my sins do outweigh my good works. That's why I need Jesus.
Alex is just a character in a tv show, but she is not an unrealistic one. Okay, maybe the part about having Supergirl for a sister is a stretch, but apart from that? She is all of us. She's a sinner in need of a Savior. And if we reject her simply because her sin is homosexuality, then we reject all those like her. We offer hatred rather than compassion, inspire fear instead of trust, and ultimately fail in our call to minister to people who need Jesus in the same way that we do.
So the next time you're watching tv and you discover that one of the characters is gay or lesbian, don't reach for the remote. Instead, take the opportunity to understand.
I've recently been watching the wonderful show Supergirl. It's deep and meaningful and action-packed and also just plain silly at times. I love the idea that Supergirl (Kara) is an all-powerful alien and also a vulnerable person who sometimes needs to decompress over pot stickers with her human sister. It's actually her sister, Alex, who intrigues me the most on the show.
The sisterly bond between Alex and Kara is a joy to watch. They argue, they banter, they save each other's lives, they eat ice cream on the couch and binge watch tv shows, they do what they think is best for the other person with complete disregard for their own safety... Their relationship is the best part about Supergirl.
Beyond her connection to Kara, Alex is a fascinating individual in her own right. She's a bio-engineer, an expert in hand-to-hand combat, and a sharpshooter. She is courageous, independent, and strong. She dedicates her life both to protecting Kara and to protecting innocents. Everything she does is about helping make the world a better place.
She's also lesbian.
I'm well aware that many evangelical Christians would say that her sexual orientation negates all of her good qualities. That her sins outweigh her good works.
That is true for all of us.
I work for a confessional Lutheran church and I do believe that homosexuality is a sin. I also believe that lust, disrespecting your parents, cheating on homework, and idolizing sports teams and celebrities are sins. There are no perfect people. Romans 3:23 reminds us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." All means all. All means you. All means me.
I struggle with sin. In college, and again in Florida, I struggled with sin so much that I went to a trusted mentor and confessed it with repentance in my heart. And do you know what they told me? They told me that I was forgiven. They reminded me of the next verse in Romans that reads, "and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." I was convinced, and sometimes still am, that my sins were beyond forgiveness. That my sins were too big and too bad for God. But nothing is too big and too bad for God, and I am forgiven and free. I know my mentors well enough to say that if my sin had been homosexuality, and I had come to them and confessed it with repentance in my heart, they would have told me exactly the same thing - that I was forgiven. Because my sins do outweigh my good works. That's why I need Jesus.
Alex is just a character in a tv show, but she is not an unrealistic one. Okay, maybe the part about having Supergirl for a sister is a stretch, but apart from that? She is all of us. She's a sinner in need of a Savior. And if we reject her simply because her sin is homosexuality, then we reject all those like her. We offer hatred rather than compassion, inspire fear instead of trust, and ultimately fail in our call to minister to people who need Jesus in the same way that we do.
So the next time you're watching tv and you discover that one of the characters is gay or lesbian, don't reach for the remote. Instead, take the opportunity to understand.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
The Joy of Life and the People In It
Hello, friends! Today, as I was putting up Christmas decorations with my daughter, a thought struck me: it is fun to be a parent.
Now, that may seem obvious, but bear with me through my self-discovery.
Last year, I put up Christmas decorations all by myself. I didn't even have my dog for company, since she isn't allowed inside the house. But this year, my daughter and I put up the decorations together, and it was pure bliss.
We had a bunch of her art projects on the mantle; we took most of them down, but she insisted that her decorative dinosaur bones needed to stay up. Therefore, they're still on the mantle next to three nativity scenes.
Then we put up the Christmas tree. I'm innovative (read: cheap) and when my tree stand broke last year, I simply put the tree in a bucket, stuffed fabric into said bucket so that the tree would stay up, and then covered the bucket with my favorite Peruvian blanket as a tree skirt. She thought this solution was hilarious and wouldn't stop giggling. She also loved looking at all of my Christmas ornaments, especially since a good number of them have dates on them. We found two from my very first Christmas. She thought that was incredible.
My daughter also added some "ornaments": some pipe cleaners, feathers, strings, and necklaces. Because hey, who put a definition on "ornament," anyway? She also gave me a somewhat exasperated look when I put my Drake Bulldogs dog bone on the tree. "Really, Mom? Really?"
Sometimes (read: too often), I focus too much on the negative aspects of being a parent. I get irritated when she steals food from the fridge, exasperated when she doesn't do her work at school, frustrated when her hygiene leaves something to be desired, and I forget that she's also smart, beautiful, funny, enthusiastic, loving, caring, curious, and just plain fun.
So if you're like me and you often ignore the better parts of life, take a moment tonight and remember the joy of life and the people in it.
Now, that may seem obvious, but bear with me through my self-discovery.
Last year, I put up Christmas decorations all by myself. I didn't even have my dog for company, since she isn't allowed inside the house. But this year, my daughter and I put up the decorations together, and it was pure bliss.
We had a bunch of her art projects on the mantle; we took most of them down, but she insisted that her decorative dinosaur bones needed to stay up. Therefore, they're still on the mantle next to three nativity scenes.
Then we put up the Christmas tree. I'm innovative (read: cheap) and when my tree stand broke last year, I simply put the tree in a bucket, stuffed fabric into said bucket so that the tree would stay up, and then covered the bucket with my favorite Peruvian blanket as a tree skirt. She thought this solution was hilarious and wouldn't stop giggling. She also loved looking at all of my Christmas ornaments, especially since a good number of them have dates on them. We found two from my very first Christmas. She thought that was incredible.
My daughter also added some "ornaments": some pipe cleaners, feathers, strings, and necklaces. Because hey, who put a definition on "ornament," anyway? She also gave me a somewhat exasperated look when I put my Drake Bulldogs dog bone on the tree. "Really, Mom? Really?"
Sometimes (read: too often), I focus too much on the negative aspects of being a parent. I get irritated when she steals food from the fridge, exasperated when she doesn't do her work at school, frustrated when her hygiene leaves something to be desired, and I forget that she's also smart, beautiful, funny, enthusiastic, loving, caring, curious, and just plain fun.
So if you're like me and you often ignore the better parts of life, take a moment tonight and remember the joy of life and the people in it.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Focus
Hello, friends.
I have spent way too much time recently focusing on church politics. It is important to discuss the issues of the church and make decisions for the benefit of the congregation, but when I spend maybe half of my work week complaining about what's going on at church... that's too much. That's not why I'm at Redeemer.
My grandpa's funeral today reminded me of why I am at Redeemer. The service began with Psalm 23. The pastor pointed out that the last verse had been fulfilled for my grandpa: "I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." That's what my grandpa is doing now, and that's why I'm at Redeemer - so that when it comes times for the funerals of my kids and youth, the same will be known about them.
That's where my focus should be. That's where all of our focuses should be. It's time for all of us, at Redeemer and elsewhere, to put church politics aside and focus on the eternal goal.
I have spent way too much time recently focusing on church politics. It is important to discuss the issues of the church and make decisions for the benefit of the congregation, but when I spend maybe half of my work week complaining about what's going on at church... that's too much. That's not why I'm at Redeemer.
My grandpa's funeral today reminded me of why I am at Redeemer. The service began with Psalm 23. The pastor pointed out that the last verse had been fulfilled for my grandpa: "I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." That's what my grandpa is doing now, and that's why I'm at Redeemer - so that when it comes times for the funerals of my kids and youth, the same will be known about them.
That's where my focus should be. That's where all of our focuses should be. It's time for all of us, at Redeemer and elsewhere, to put church politics aside and focus on the eternal goal.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Peppermints
Hello, friends.
Today was stressful. We all have those days - days that we question everything we thought we knew, days that we wonder if we're supposed to be doing what we're doing.
Today was also the day I received perhaps the strangest compliment of my life: "Mary, you're like a peppermint."
You see, if you're stressed, you often have a loop going in your head. You can't stop thinking about the thing that's stressing you out. Often, what it takes to break that loop is a really good distraction - like a peppermint, for example. Peppermints have an overpowering taste and smell. You pop one of those in your mouth and it's hard to think about anything else. Because of that, peppermints can help you calm down.
Another thing that can help you calm down is a person. I went out to lunch with a similarly stressed individual today, and he said afterwards that listening to me talk about my daughter was like a peppermint- a distraction from the situation that helped him think rationally about it. I can relate to that easily. When I was in college, Lindsey and I had a code for when one of us was stressed and needed to talk. We would ask to go for a walk down the bluff. By the time we made it down and back up those two hundred steps, we felt better every time.
I think that's the moral of my day. When you're stressed, find a peppermint. Or a person. Or both. :)
Today was stressful. We all have those days - days that we question everything we thought we knew, days that we wonder if we're supposed to be doing what we're doing.
Today was also the day I received perhaps the strangest compliment of my life: "Mary, you're like a peppermint."
You see, if you're stressed, you often have a loop going in your head. You can't stop thinking about the thing that's stressing you out. Often, what it takes to break that loop is a really good distraction - like a peppermint, for example. Peppermints have an overpowering taste and smell. You pop one of those in your mouth and it's hard to think about anything else. Because of that, peppermints can help you calm down.
Another thing that can help you calm down is a person. I went out to lunch with a similarly stressed individual today, and he said afterwards that listening to me talk about my daughter was like a peppermint- a distraction from the situation that helped him think rationally about it. I can relate to that easily. When I was in college, Lindsey and I had a code for when one of us was stressed and needed to talk. We would ask to go for a walk down the bluff. By the time we made it down and back up those two hundred steps, we felt better every time.
I think that's the moral of my day. When you're stressed, find a peppermint. Or a person. Or both. :)
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
What's Best for Me
Hello, friends.
On May 18th, 2013, I graduated from Concordia University - Wisconsin and was certified as a Lay Minister with specializations in Youth Ministry, Parish Teaching, and Missions. Boy, was I bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to take on the world! I just knew that I was going to get a call right away to do youth ministry at a church in the Midwest. I even told God that.
Per the usual, God listened to my plans and laughed and said, "No, I know what's best for you." First he sent me to YMCA summer camps; next, to Lutheran Services in Iowa; next, to UPS; next, to Panera Bread. All were in Iowa, and none of them were what I wanted. I was constantly angry with God, constantly asking why he was making me wait, why he was sending me to these places when I had learned and trained and practiced to be a lay minister.
In the spring of 2014, while I was randomly Googling variations of the phrase "Lutheran church work," I stumbled across the page for the Lutheran Campus Initiative. Let me tell you, I did not want to move to Florida. Florida is hot and sticky and not the Midwest. But per the usual, God listened to my concerns and laughed and said, "No, I know what's best for you." And he was right. I may have been doing campus ministry instead of youth ministry, but I was using and developing my ministry skills. I loved Florida in the end.
The LCI program lasted a year, from July 2014-2015. I returned home to Iowa after my missionary term ended and did my least favorite activity: waiting.
I waited for almost two months, and then, one morning, I woke up to a voicemail from my CUW advisor. He informed me that Redeemer Lutheran Church in Enid, Oklahoma was calling me to be their Director of Christian Education. I'm a naturally excitable person, but that morning was the most exciting one of my life. I jumped up and down and ran all the way through the house looking for my mom; when I didn't find her, I called my dad at work to tell him the news. It turned out that my mom was in the shower, so as soon as she got out, I made her listen to the voicemail. I called friends and celebrated and generally made a nuisance of myself because I was so happy. A call! I had a call! I finally had a call!
The call process took awhile. It wasn't until the day after my birthday that I received my placement papers in the mail. I took the weekend to consider and then put the signed papers in the mail on Monday. Then I packed, and celebrated, and packed, and celebrated, and so on and so forth. My parents helped me move near the end of September.
I'm remembering all of these things today because one year ago, I was commissioned as a lay minister in the LCMS. My entire journey - beginning long before May 2013 - led me to that point. No, let me rephrase that. God led me through my entire journey to that point, and he is still leading me now. I can look back at those jobs in the interim between college and now and see why I had to have them. Could I have been ready for a call in May 2013? Sure, but I was more ready in October 2015. What's more, Redeemer was ready for me in October 2015.
I've learned many things in the past year, but the most important lesson has been this: God knows what he's doing, and he sent me to this place at this time for a reason. He truly does know what's best for me.
On May 18th, 2013, I graduated from Concordia University - Wisconsin and was certified as a Lay Minister with specializations in Youth Ministry, Parish Teaching, and Missions. Boy, was I bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to take on the world! I just knew that I was going to get a call right away to do youth ministry at a church in the Midwest. I even told God that.
Per the usual, God listened to my plans and laughed and said, "No, I know what's best for you." First he sent me to YMCA summer camps; next, to Lutheran Services in Iowa; next, to UPS; next, to Panera Bread. All were in Iowa, and none of them were what I wanted. I was constantly angry with God, constantly asking why he was making me wait, why he was sending me to these places when I had learned and trained and practiced to be a lay minister.
In the spring of 2014, while I was randomly Googling variations of the phrase "Lutheran church work," I stumbled across the page for the Lutheran Campus Initiative. Let me tell you, I did not want to move to Florida. Florida is hot and sticky and not the Midwest. But per the usual, God listened to my concerns and laughed and said, "No, I know what's best for you." And he was right. I may have been doing campus ministry instead of youth ministry, but I was using and developing my ministry skills. I loved Florida in the end.
The LCI program lasted a year, from July 2014-2015. I returned home to Iowa after my missionary term ended and did my least favorite activity: waiting.
I waited for almost two months, and then, one morning, I woke up to a voicemail from my CUW advisor. He informed me that Redeemer Lutheran Church in Enid, Oklahoma was calling me to be their Director of Christian Education. I'm a naturally excitable person, but that morning was the most exciting one of my life. I jumped up and down and ran all the way through the house looking for my mom; when I didn't find her, I called my dad at work to tell him the news. It turned out that my mom was in the shower, so as soon as she got out, I made her listen to the voicemail. I called friends and celebrated and generally made a nuisance of myself because I was so happy. A call! I had a call! I finally had a call!
The call process took awhile. It wasn't until the day after my birthday that I received my placement papers in the mail. I took the weekend to consider and then put the signed papers in the mail on Monday. Then I packed, and celebrated, and packed, and celebrated, and so on and so forth. My parents helped me move near the end of September.
I'm remembering all of these things today because one year ago, I was commissioned as a lay minister in the LCMS. My entire journey - beginning long before May 2013 - led me to that point. No, let me rephrase that. God led me through my entire journey to that point, and he is still leading me now. I can look back at those jobs in the interim between college and now and see why I had to have them. Could I have been ready for a call in May 2013? Sure, but I was more ready in October 2015. What's more, Redeemer was ready for me in October 2015.
I've learned many things in the past year, but the most important lesson has been this: God knows what he's doing, and he sent me to this place at this time for a reason. He truly does know what's best for me.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
A Year and a Day Ago
Hello, friends.
A year and a day ago, I moved to Enid, Oklahoma. So much has changed, but one thing has not:
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8)
Even as I grow in my career and my personal life, even as I am DCE Mary during the day and Mom when school gets out, even as I learn who "Mary" really is, I know that my God is the same as He was when I lived in Urbandale, and Mequon, and Tallahassee. My location has changed, my position has changed, my relationships have changed, but my God has not.
What else is there to say?
A year and a day ago, I moved to Enid, Oklahoma. So much has changed, but one thing has not:
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8)
Even as I grow in my career and my personal life, even as I am DCE Mary during the day and Mom when school gets out, even as I learn who "Mary" really is, I know that my God is the same as He was when I lived in Urbandale, and Mequon, and Tallahassee. My location has changed, my position has changed, my relationships have changed, but my God has not.
What else is there to say?
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Uncomfortable
Hello, friends! You may have caught on to the fact that last week was a rather uncomfortable one for me. I'd rank it in my Top 5 of the worst weeks of my life. The blows just kept coming. I was searching for something to put my week into perspective when I came across this on my computer. It's the last devotion I wrote as a Lutheran Campus Initiative missionary. It applies so well to my situation that I know it has to be a God thing. I hope it can bring some inspiration to your life as well.
Have you ever been caught out in a storm? It’s rather
uncomfortable, isn’t it? It’s dark, the rain is coming down so hard that you
can’t see a thing, the water is pooling up around your ankles, you’re cold and
wet and starting to feel the sniffles coming on before you even get inside.
Now, picture that happening on a small boat in the middle of a lake, and you’re
picturing the situation the disciples were in in Mark 4. “A great windstorm
arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already
filling” (verse 37).
We have all felt that way in life, too. Whether we’ve lost
our job, we’re overwhelmed in our current job, we’ve taken on too many
responsibilities, whatever it might be, we have felt drenched and about to be
flooded and overturned. God tends to put us in uncomfortable situations. He
always has a purpose, but in the midst of the situations, we’re calling out,
“God, please rescue us!” And although God never fails to rescue us, he does
even that in uncomfortable ways.
For example, in Mark 4:38-40, Jesus is in the boat that’s
flooding… and he’s asleep. “They woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not
care that we are perishing?’ And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the
sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He
said to them, ‘Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?’”
Now, I don't know about you, but when I'm overwhelmed by something - be it professional or personal - I'm not terribly interested in hearing about my faith. I'm interested in riding out the storm and getting safely to shore. But Jesus doesn't think like that. He is focused on what's important, and in the end, that is our faith. He rescues us in uncomfortable ways to force us to focus on what's important, and after we are rescued, he thrusts us into a new uncomfortable situation with our newfound faith. It's a never-ending cycle, and that's okay. That's the way God intends it. We are not meant to be comfortable, but we are meant to have faith in the uncomfortable.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Foster Parenting
Hello, friends.
A short post for you tonight.
Foster parenting is hard. It's messy. It's exhausting. It's frustrating. If it's not one thing, it's another, and there's never rest for the weary.
Foster parenting is good. It's rewarding. It's heartwarming. It's life-changing. It's new every morning and there's always a reason to smile.
I don't like lice.
I don't like allergic reactions.
I don't like phone calls from the school nurse.
I don't like uncertainty.
I don't like panic attacks.
I love my daughter.
I love her laughter.
I love her unique way of looking at the world.
I love her positive attitude.
I love my God who takes care of both of us.
Would I do it again, after all I've gone through these past two days? Without a doubt I would.
A short post for you tonight.
Foster parenting is hard. It's messy. It's exhausting. It's frustrating. If it's not one thing, it's another, and there's never rest for the weary.
Foster parenting is good. It's rewarding. It's heartwarming. It's life-changing. It's new every morning and there's always a reason to smile.
I don't like lice.
I don't like allergic reactions.
I don't like phone calls from the school nurse.
I don't like uncertainty.
I don't like panic attacks.
I love my daughter.
I love her laughter.
I love her unique way of looking at the world.
I love her positive attitude.
I love my God who takes care of both of us.
Would I do it again, after all I've gone through these past two days? Without a doubt I would.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
My Hard Day
Hello, friends.
Today was a hard day.
As you know, unless you haven't seen any of my social media posts for a month, we've been struggling with lice in my house. I've tried everything: bagging up stuffed animals and pillows, doing laundry constantly, spraying the furniture, vacuuming daily, putting slip covers on the mattresses, and, of course, using lice cream and shampoos and nit combs. I've managed to get it out of my hair, but not my daughter's. It's certainly not for lack of trying.
In the past couple of days, my daughter has developed a rash. I didn't think too much of it, especially since I was planning to take her to the doctor on Wednesday. The school nurse, however, thought it was a bigger deal and insisted that my daughter be sent home from school and go to the doctor today. She also called my case worker because she was concerned that I wasn't doing enough for my daughter's health.
It turns out that my daughter is allergic to the very ingredient that is most effective in getting rid of lice. Go figure, right? So she has to take medicine to get rid of the rash, and they had to order a special, completely different lice cream that won't come in until tomorrow, which means my daughter won't be able to go to school again until Thursday or Friday, since the school nurse is so concerned. I also had the great pleasure of cleaning every bit of furniture in our house that has ever come in contact with that ingredient.
I'm frustrated with the nurse - unfairly, I know, because she's just doing her job, but it's irritating to have her go above my head like that when I've been working so hard to combat the lice. I'm frustrated with myself, because I should have gone to the doctor weeks ago, but I've been putting it off because of how my daughter typically reacts to doctors (not well). I'm frustrated because my daughter has been doing well in school and now she can't go for at least another day. I'm frustrated with the whole situation, and I just wish I wasn't dealing with this alone.
Earlier, after I picked my daughter up from school and went back to work, I let my frustration get the better of me. I was stomping around the church, trying to do everything at once, not really accomplishing anything, in a very bad mood and not afraid to show it. When I realized that my attitude was making things worse, I made myself take a break. I went to the sanctuary, sat in a pew, and picked up a hymnal. I sang Morning Prayer by myself in the light from the windows. I read Psalm 46. I sang "Be Still, My Soul." I prayed.
Sometimes, I feel like it's me against the world. Me against lice, me against the school nurse, me against the messy house and unwashed dishes and endless laundry. My mantra is often "If I don't do it, no one will." But I'm not alone.
"Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; your best, your heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."
I'm not alone. I have my God, who has given me my caring pastor and congregation, my family, my friends, and yes, my caseworkers and the school nurse and especially my daughter. Despite my hard day, and the hard days I know are in my future, I know that the Lord is on my side, and He will lead me to a joyful end. Without Him, today would just be awful. But with Him, I have a different perspective.
Today was a hard day.
As you know, unless you haven't seen any of my social media posts for a month, we've been struggling with lice in my house. I've tried everything: bagging up stuffed animals and pillows, doing laundry constantly, spraying the furniture, vacuuming daily, putting slip covers on the mattresses, and, of course, using lice cream and shampoos and nit combs. I've managed to get it out of my hair, but not my daughter's. It's certainly not for lack of trying.
In the past couple of days, my daughter has developed a rash. I didn't think too much of it, especially since I was planning to take her to the doctor on Wednesday. The school nurse, however, thought it was a bigger deal and insisted that my daughter be sent home from school and go to the doctor today. She also called my case worker because she was concerned that I wasn't doing enough for my daughter's health.
It turns out that my daughter is allergic to the very ingredient that is most effective in getting rid of lice. Go figure, right? So she has to take medicine to get rid of the rash, and they had to order a special, completely different lice cream that won't come in until tomorrow, which means my daughter won't be able to go to school again until Thursday or Friday, since the school nurse is so concerned. I also had the great pleasure of cleaning every bit of furniture in our house that has ever come in contact with that ingredient.
I'm frustrated with the nurse - unfairly, I know, because she's just doing her job, but it's irritating to have her go above my head like that when I've been working so hard to combat the lice. I'm frustrated with myself, because I should have gone to the doctor weeks ago, but I've been putting it off because of how my daughter typically reacts to doctors (not well). I'm frustrated because my daughter has been doing well in school and now she can't go for at least another day. I'm frustrated with the whole situation, and I just wish I wasn't dealing with this alone.
Earlier, after I picked my daughter up from school and went back to work, I let my frustration get the better of me. I was stomping around the church, trying to do everything at once, not really accomplishing anything, in a very bad mood and not afraid to show it. When I realized that my attitude was making things worse, I made myself take a break. I went to the sanctuary, sat in a pew, and picked up a hymnal. I sang Morning Prayer by myself in the light from the windows. I read Psalm 46. I sang "Be Still, My Soul." I prayed.
Sometimes, I feel like it's me against the world. Me against lice, me against the school nurse, me against the messy house and unwashed dishes and endless laundry. My mantra is often "If I don't do it, no one will." But I'm not alone.
"Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; your best, your heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."
I'm not alone. I have my God, who has given me my caring pastor and congregation, my family, my friends, and yes, my caseworkers and the school nurse and especially my daughter. Despite my hard day, and the hard days I know are in my future, I know that the Lord is on my side, and He will lead me to a joyful end. Without Him, today would just be awful. But with Him, I have a different perspective.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
All Heaven Breaks Loose, Part 2
Hello, friends! Nearly two years ago, I wrote a blog post titled "All Heaven Breaks Loose." In it, I talked about how life as an LCI missionary had changed completely with the beginning of the new school year. 40,000 people had arrived and things were heating up. Let me quote from the end of the post for you:
"Is it chaos? Yes. Is is crazy? Of course. Is it an opportunity for witness the likes of which I've never seen before? Absolutely, and I am so glad that God has put me here to "break heaven loose" on this campus."
Once again, I am faced with the beginning of a new school year, and things are heating up. Sunday School Rally Day was this past weekend. Midweek School begins tomorrow. Starting September 11th, we will have high school youth group once a week. Is it chaos? Oh, yes. I have so much to do, so much to organize, so much to remember... It's chaos in my head and (shockingly) on my desk. Is it crazy? That's an understatement. I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for weeks. Is it an opportunity for witness the likes of which I've never seen before? Absolutely, and I am so glad that God has put me here to "break heaven loose" in Enid, Oklahoma.
"Is it chaos? Yes. Is is crazy? Of course. Is it an opportunity for witness the likes of which I've never seen before? Absolutely, and I am so glad that God has put me here to "break heaven loose" on this campus."
Once again, I am faced with the beginning of a new school year, and things are heating up. Sunday School Rally Day was this past weekend. Midweek School begins tomorrow. Starting September 11th, we will have high school youth group once a week. Is it chaos? Oh, yes. I have so much to do, so much to organize, so much to remember... It's chaos in my head and (shockingly) on my desk. Is it crazy? That's an understatement. I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for weeks. Is it an opportunity for witness the likes of which I've never seen before? Absolutely, and I am so glad that God has put me here to "break heaven loose" in Enid, Oklahoma.
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Single Life Struggles: Episode 3
Hello, friends. Another episode for you today.
Single Life Struggle: when you already spend nearly an hour on your daughter's hair every day, and then you and your daughter both catch lice, and suddenly you're spending multiple hours several days in a row, using and specially treating multiple combs, while also trying to get the **** things out of your hair, and you don't have anyone around to look at your own head and tell you if you've gotten them all, and you just want an extra pair of eyes and hands to help you.
Single Life Struggle: when you already spend nearly an hour on your daughter's hair every day, and then you and your daughter both catch lice, and suddenly you're spending multiple hours several days in a row, using and specially treating multiple combs, while also trying to get the **** things out of your hair, and you don't have anyone around to look at your own head and tell you if you've gotten them all, and you just want an extra pair of eyes and hands to help you.
Monday, August 15, 2016
Send Me Jokes
Hello, friends. I'm writing to you from my office at church. My head itches, despite my best efforts to the contrary. I'm tired. My back hurts. I had a lot on my plate at work today, but I accomplished almost none of it; the majority of my day was spent ridding my house, my hair, and my daughter's hair of lice.
To sum it up: I've had better days.
But my dog is curled up beside me. My daughter is at home, about to go to bed. I know that I will wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready for a new day.
Lice is a pain. But there are worse things.
I am reminded of a particular cross country practice during high school. We were out of breath, sweating profusely, complaining at every turn about the heat and the workout, when suddenly my friend Anna says, "What are you talking about? I feel quite cold. I think I need a parka."
It turns out, we didn't need a break; we didn't need to slow down or find some air conditioning. What we needed was a laugh and a better attitude. I think that's what I need today, too.
Anyone got any good jokes? ;)
To sum it up: I've had better days.
But my dog is curled up beside me. My daughter is at home, about to go to bed. I know that I will wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready for a new day.
Lice is a pain. But there are worse things.
I am reminded of a particular cross country practice during high school. We were out of breath, sweating profusely, complaining at every turn about the heat and the workout, when suddenly my friend Anna says, "What are you talking about? I feel quite cold. I think I need a parka."
It turns out, we didn't need a break; we didn't need to slow down or find some air conditioning. What we needed was a laugh and a better attitude. I think that's what I need today, too.
Anyone got any good jokes? ;)
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Father's Day
Hello, friends! I hope you are all doing well this fine (very warm) Sunday. Since it's Father's Day, I thought it would be appropriate to give you a list of things I've learned from my dad. Some of these might surprise him, because they're not quotes, they're attitudes he modeled for me over the years. I hope you enjoy!
-I can't be anything I want to be, and that's okay. I am who I am and I should celebrate that.
-Along with that, I should value the gifts of others.
-I should be kind and courteous to everyone, regardless of my feelings about them.
-If I make a commitment, I should stick to it.
-Winning is exciting, but if I'm not having fun and being a good sport, it's not worth it.
-There are all kinds of problems that I can't fix, and it's not useful to dwell on that fact. Instead, I should focus on what I can change.
-Family and friends are important, and I should make an effort to keep those relationships strong.
-Laughter is fantastic medicine.
-One of the best things you can possibly do is to have fun while serving others.
-God loves me very, very much, and that is the most important lesson of all.
Those ten things are only the tip of the iceberg, and I'm sure my brother would agree. We have learned so much from this wonderful man. Thanks, Dad, and Happy Father's Day!
(Side note: it's also my nephew's first birthday. Happy birthday, Kylen!!)
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Gathering Memories
Hello, friends! After sleeping from about 10 AM to 4 PM today, I am awake and somewhat recovered from the National Youth Gathering. I always like to write about my trips right after I return from them, so here you go - my favorite 2016 Gathering memories!
- Rediscovering New Orleans through the eyes of my teenagers - for example, riding the streetcar and hearing them talk about the beads stuck everywhere you look
- Getting caught in a rainstorm at the Audubon Zoo and laughing about how soaked we were
- Finding all of the elephant statues at the zoo (there were a lot for some reason)
- Introducing my group to beignets at Cafe du Monde
- My teenagers buying masks in the French Quarter
- Learning about a soldier named "Barney Old Coyote" at the WWII Museum
- One of my teenagers being so excited about the WWII Museum that we could have left him there the entire trip and he would have been perfectly happy
- Eating king cake at Mardi Gras World (one of our teenagers owes us a party)
- Going to Walgreens - you know you're becoming closer with your group of teenagers when they talk about feminine products with you :P
- Carrying seven backpacks back to my hotel like a boss
- Attempting to run over and hug Melissa while carrying seven backpacks
- One of my teenagers using physics to explain why a grandfather clock wasn't working at the Old Ursuline Convent
- Inventing a game called "Emergency Situation" with my teenagers
- Mass Events!!!! Singing, dancing, learning, laughing, and being inspired in Christ alone
- My adult leader guiding us through the crowd of 25,000 by holding up a duct taped silver, pink, and green sword (he became known as the "saber guy")
- (According to my teenagers) jumping 3 feet in the air and tackling Pastor Jay
- My teenagers taking lots of notes during Bible studies
- Seeing Young Adult Volunteers and having one of my teenagers high-five all of them
- Attending Pastor Jay's "Relax and be a Christian" session and feeling very relaxed afterwards
- My teenagers asking PJ if they could build a bonfire
- Melissa playing the "Emergency Situation" game with my teenagers
- My teenagers helping package food (total, the Gathering packed over 600,000 meals)
- All of my friends that I found at the Gathering: Jessica, Nicole, Keriann, Noelle, Bethany, Dr. Oberdeck, Stephanie, and probably lots of people I'm forgetting
- Talking to President Ferry from CUW
- Meeting a youth leader from Hungary
- Watching the Skit Guys and learning what Goliath's wife would have sounded like
- Attending a fantastic "Tough Talks" session and learning how to apply coaching skills to youth ministry
- The final worship service - taking communion with 25,000 other people
- One of my youth, who is not confirmed yet, taking communion for the first time and making the most priceless face at the taste
- Receiving a pretty stellar Gathering banner
- Going to Hot Topic with some of my teenagers :P
- My teenagers explaining what they think New Orleans needs the most (help for the homeless and strong leadership)
- Reading Princess Bride on my Kindle on the bus
- Finally getting home and hugging all of my teenagers farewell
- Lastly... sleeping :P
So much happened, and no blog post could ever cover it all. But reliving the memories makes me smile and laugh and cry all at once. I learned so much about myself, my teenagers, and leadership. This experience was fantastic. I can't wait for Minneapolis in 2019!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
The "Why" of the National Youth Gathering
Hello, friends. I'm spending my day doing last-minute packing and cleaning and errands, so naturally, I'm procrastinating by writing a blog post. Don't act like you're surprised!
When you attend the National Youth Gathering, whether as a youth, a Young Adult Volunteer, a Community Life Builder, an adult chaperone, a Gathering planner, a member of a band, an exhibitor, a speaker, or anything else I've missed, you bring a lot of things back with you. You bring back memories - some good, some bad, some thought-provoking, some silly. You bring back a fancy new backpack and Bible. You bring back a lot of other stuff from booths and sessions and sightseeing. You bring back new friends and renewed friendships. You bring back a sense of purpose, given to you by God at the Gathering. You never return the same way you came.
But I'm not coming back yet. I'm going. So my question for myself today is, what am I taking with me to the National Youth Gathering?
There's the obvious, of course. I'm taking a duffel bag full of clothes and toiletries. I'm taking an old Concordia Wisconsin cross country backpack full of medical forms and tour reservations and first aid supplies and snacks. I'm taking a blanket and a pillow. I'm taking chargers for my phone and Kindle.
Then there's the less obvious. Those of you who have worked with me in the past know I like to ask the question "Why?" I want to know the goal. I want to have a reason for doing what we're doing. That reason can never be "because we've always done it that way."
So what goal, what reason, am I taking with me to the Gathering? What is the "Why?"
The "why" I take with me today is the same "why" that I have every time I plan a youth group event at home. Whether we're gathered in a group of four or twenty thousand, the "why" is the same: to grow in faith in God, in fellowship with one another, and in fervor towards the Great Commission. That's what I take with me. It's important for me to recognize this today, or it will get lost amid the travel details and heat and humidity and exhaustion and excitement and reunions and crowds. I take this with me, as I take it with me everywhere.
As I return to packing and cleaning and errands, pray that I keep my youth safe on this trip and help them to recognize the "Why."
When you attend the National Youth Gathering, whether as a youth, a Young Adult Volunteer, a Community Life Builder, an adult chaperone, a Gathering planner, a member of a band, an exhibitor, a speaker, or anything else I've missed, you bring a lot of things back with you. You bring back memories - some good, some bad, some thought-provoking, some silly. You bring back a fancy new backpack and Bible. You bring back a lot of other stuff from booths and sessions and sightseeing. You bring back new friends and renewed friendships. You bring back a sense of purpose, given to you by God at the Gathering. You never return the same way you came.
But I'm not coming back yet. I'm going. So my question for myself today is, what am I taking with me to the National Youth Gathering?
There's the obvious, of course. I'm taking a duffel bag full of clothes and toiletries. I'm taking an old Concordia Wisconsin cross country backpack full of medical forms and tour reservations and first aid supplies and snacks. I'm taking a blanket and a pillow. I'm taking chargers for my phone and Kindle.
Then there's the less obvious. Those of you who have worked with me in the past know I like to ask the question "Why?" I want to know the goal. I want to have a reason for doing what we're doing. That reason can never be "because we've always done it that way."
So what goal, what reason, am I taking with me to the Gathering? What is the "Why?"
The "why" I take with me today is the same "why" that I have every time I plan a youth group event at home. Whether we're gathered in a group of four or twenty thousand, the "why" is the same: to grow in faith in God, in fellowship with one another, and in fervor towards the Great Commission. That's what I take with me. It's important for me to recognize this today, or it will get lost amid the travel details and heat and humidity and exhaustion and excitement and reunions and crowds. I take this with me, as I take it with me everywhere.
As I return to packing and cleaning and errands, pray that I keep my youth safe on this trip and help them to recognize the "Why."
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Conversations (Thanks, Mom)
Hello, friends! For your reading pleasure, I present to you some conversations I've had with my foster daughter today. I'm convinced that I am becoming my mother, and that is a very good thing.
(I find a chair suspiciously close to a high cupboard)
"Did you take anything from the cupboard?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"If I check the cupboard, I won't find anything missing?"
"No."
(I check the cupboard; shockingly enough, something is missing)
(My daughter is picking up the living room)
"That's as good as I'm going to get it."
"Really?"
"Yes."
(I look around at the paper plates and cups, books, DVDs, food, art projects, and trash on various surfaces all around the room)
"I disagree. Keep going."
(My daughter is filling up the bathtub)
"Mom, for some strange reason, the water is blue!"
"Really?"
"Yes, come look! I was filling it up and I looked and it was blue!"
(I check the water; it looks exactly the same as normal)
"Don't worry, I think it's fine."
Thanks, Mom, for teaching me how to be a mom in these and so many other scenarios. :P
(I find a chair suspiciously close to a high cupboard)
"Did you take anything from the cupboard?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"If I check the cupboard, I won't find anything missing?"
"No."
(I check the cupboard; shockingly enough, something is missing)
(My daughter is picking up the living room)
"That's as good as I'm going to get it."
"Really?"
"Yes."
(I look around at the paper plates and cups, books, DVDs, food, art projects, and trash on various surfaces all around the room)
"I disagree. Keep going."
(My daughter is filling up the bathtub)
"Mom, for some strange reason, the water is blue!"
"Really?"
"Yes, come look! I was filling it up and I looked and it was blue!"
(I check the water; it looks exactly the same as normal)
"Don't worry, I think it's fine."
Thanks, Mom, for teaching me how to be a mom in these and so many other scenarios. :P
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Count Others More Significant Than Yourselves
Hello, friends. I've written a devotion for you tonight. I'm a little out of practice, but here you go!
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3
My youth group went bowling today. The youth know each other fairly well and always enjoy hanging out with each other. They had a blast, cheering each other on for strikes and gutter balls alike, playing with each other's phones and sharing food with one another.
It would have been easy for them to avoid and ignore my foster daughter as she was dancing around them, insisting on high-fives and hugs and not always factoring in boundaries or personal space. It would have been easy for them to give her the minimum interaction that they could get away with. It would have even been easy for them to ask me to keep her under control.
They didn't do any of those things. Instead, when my daughter wanted to give them high-fives for luck, they responded with enthusiasm and even started to ask for them. When my daughter got a strike, they cheered her on like there was no tomorrow. When my daughter needed help with the bumpers, they jumped in and figured them out for her. They did this all without my prompting.
Now, I don't know for sure why they did all this. I think there are two possible reasons: they wanted to show kindness and respect for her, or they wanted to show kindness and respect for me. Either way, they exemplified Philippians 2:3. Instead of thinking of themselves, they counted either her or me (or, likely, both) as more significant.
Isn't it amazing, then, to think of what Jesus did for us? He had the perfect life. It would have been easy for Him to stay in heaven, where nothing could ever go wrong and nobody could ever bother Him. But he didn't do that. He came to earth and met us on our terms. We were broken and dead in our sins, unable to help ourselves, so He helped us. He sacrificed everything to give us the kindness and respect that we didn't deserve. Jesus counted us as more significant than Himself, even at the cost of His life.
The theme for the National Youth Gathering next month is "In Christ Alone." Philippians 2 explains that this attitude that we are called to have comes not from ourselves, but from Christ's example and through His grace. Without Christ, my youth wouldn't be able to put my daughter above themselves. But with Christ, they did exactly that.
What can you do with Christ?
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3
My youth group went bowling today. The youth know each other fairly well and always enjoy hanging out with each other. They had a blast, cheering each other on for strikes and gutter balls alike, playing with each other's phones and sharing food with one another.
It would have been easy for them to avoid and ignore my foster daughter as she was dancing around them, insisting on high-fives and hugs and not always factoring in boundaries or personal space. It would have been easy for them to give her the minimum interaction that they could get away with. It would have even been easy for them to ask me to keep her under control.
They didn't do any of those things. Instead, when my daughter wanted to give them high-fives for luck, they responded with enthusiasm and even started to ask for them. When my daughter got a strike, they cheered her on like there was no tomorrow. When my daughter needed help with the bumpers, they jumped in and figured them out for her. They did this all without my prompting.
Now, I don't know for sure why they did all this. I think there are two possible reasons: they wanted to show kindness and respect for her, or they wanted to show kindness and respect for me. Either way, they exemplified Philippians 2:3. Instead of thinking of themselves, they counted either her or me (or, likely, both) as more significant.
Isn't it amazing, then, to think of what Jesus did for us? He had the perfect life. It would have been easy for Him to stay in heaven, where nothing could ever go wrong and nobody could ever bother Him. But he didn't do that. He came to earth and met us on our terms. We were broken and dead in our sins, unable to help ourselves, so He helped us. He sacrificed everything to give us the kindness and respect that we didn't deserve. Jesus counted us as more significant than Himself, even at the cost of His life.
The theme for the National Youth Gathering next month is "In Christ Alone." Philippians 2 explains that this attitude that we are called to have comes not from ourselves, but from Christ's example and through His grace. Without Christ, my youth wouldn't be able to put my daughter above themselves. But with Christ, they did exactly that.
What can you do with Christ?
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Blessings I've Found in Enid, Oklahoma
Hello, friends! If any of you have talked to me lately, you've probably heard me sounding pessimistic. I've been doing a lot of complaining. This blog post is to help remedy that. I hereby present to you "Blessings I've Found in Enid, Oklahoma."
The only thing I can put first is my foster child. She's a handful, all right - but she's just a kid. More than that, she's my kid, and I love the way she laughs at my jokes, makes the most creative art projects, teaches Kensi new tricks, gets excited about the strangest of things... She's a joy.
Next on the list is my church. Sure, it has problems. Every church and every workplace does. But whenever I walk through those doors, I take something positive away. For example, last night, I attended a meeting. Someone had baked brownies for it, but she forgot to bring them. I jokingly suggested that she bring them to church today - so she did. Let me tell you, they were delicious.
Some of the people at church simply blow me away in their kindness and generosity - the young people in particular. I recently realized that I need a babysitter. I called up one of my high school students, and I had no idea what she would say. Not only did she agree, she was willing to drive over immediately if I needed her right that second.
Speaking of caring for my child, she has been enrolled in day camp for the past three weeks. She's technically too old for the camp, but the camp director has been fantastic. She understands my daughter's special circumstances and works with her at every turn, even when my daughter isn't necessarily interested in doing the same.
This list could go on for days, but I'll end it with this: I love my dog. When I need a smile, she's got the best one around.
The only thing I can put first is my foster child. She's a handful, all right - but she's just a kid. More than that, she's my kid, and I love the way she laughs at my jokes, makes the most creative art projects, teaches Kensi new tricks, gets excited about the strangest of things... She's a joy.
Next on the list is my church. Sure, it has problems. Every church and every workplace does. But whenever I walk through those doors, I take something positive away. For example, last night, I attended a meeting. Someone had baked brownies for it, but she forgot to bring them. I jokingly suggested that she bring them to church today - so she did. Let me tell you, they were delicious.
Some of the people at church simply blow me away in their kindness and generosity - the young people in particular. I recently realized that I need a babysitter. I called up one of my high school students, and I had no idea what she would say. Not only did she agree, she was willing to drive over immediately if I needed her right that second.
Speaking of caring for my child, she has been enrolled in day camp for the past three weeks. She's technically too old for the camp, but the camp director has been fantastic. She understands my daughter's special circumstances and works with her at every turn, even when my daughter isn't necessarily interested in doing the same.
This list could go on for days, but I'll end it with this: I love my dog. When I need a smile, she's got the best one around.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
In Times of Crisis
Hello, friends.
It's happened again.
A mass shooting, this time at a nightclub in Orlando, Florida.
Times of crisis are times to band together. I may not physically be present in Orlando, but my heart is there and my prayers are there. Does anyone know of a way people outside of Florida can band together with those directly affected?
Times of crisis are also times to remember our hope. There's a hymn on the Lutheran Service Book that reminds us of our hope, even in the times that seem hopeless. It goes like this. I can't think of a more appropriate way to end this post. (I skipped the second stanza because it's not as applicable at this moment.)
When aimless violence takes those we love,
When random death strikes childhood's promise down,
When wrenching loss becomes our daily bread,
We know, O God, You leave us not alone.
Our faith may flicker low, and hope grow dim,
Yet You, O God, are with us in our pain;
You grieve with us and for us day by day,
And with us, sharing sorrow, will remain.
Because Your Son knew agony and loss,
Felt desolation, grief and scorn and shame,
We know You will be with us, come what may,
Your loving presence near, always the same.
Through long grief-darkened days help us, dear Lord,
To trust Your grave for courage to endure,
To rest our souls in Your supporting love,
And find our hope within Your mercy sure.
It's happened again.
A mass shooting, this time at a nightclub in Orlando, Florida.
Times of crisis are times to band together. I may not physically be present in Orlando, but my heart is there and my prayers are there. Does anyone know of a way people outside of Florida can band together with those directly affected?
Times of crisis are also times to remember our hope. There's a hymn on the Lutheran Service Book that reminds us of our hope, even in the times that seem hopeless. It goes like this. I can't think of a more appropriate way to end this post. (I skipped the second stanza because it's not as applicable at this moment.)
When aimless violence takes those we love,
When random death strikes childhood's promise down,
When wrenching loss becomes our daily bread,
We know, O God, You leave us not alone.
Our faith may flicker low, and hope grow dim,
Yet You, O God, are with us in our pain;
You grieve with us and for us day by day,
And with us, sharing sorrow, will remain.
Because Your Son knew agony and loss,
Felt desolation, grief and scorn and shame,
We know You will be with us, come what may,
Your loving presence near, always the same.
Through long grief-darkened days help us, dear Lord,
To trust Your grave for courage to endure,
To rest our souls in Your supporting love,
And find our hope within Your mercy sure.
Sunday, June 5, 2016
The VBS Report
Hello, friends! I am grateful today for a quiet afternoon, after a long week of VBS. Don't get me wrong, it was delightful, but goodness, I'm exhausted! Let me list off some of my favorite moments for you.
- While we were setting up, two of my youth worked together to find the right way to move round tables. The tables almost fell on them several times, but they got it!
- On the first day, our fill-in pianist played some Pokemon tunes to pass the time, because why not?
- On the second day, our regular music leader taught songs to the kids for fifteen minutes, and then let them try out the organ for the last five minutes. Needless to say, hilarity ensued.
- On the third day, we learned about Easter. Our games leader intended to play hockey with an Easter egg, but somehow, this morphed into Quidditch.
- On the fourth day, I noticed a kid playing with wadded-up paper and not paying attention. I held out my hand for her to give me the paper. One of the kids next to her whispered, "Give it to her - she's the boss!"
- On the fifth and final day, we had a celebratory picnic, complete with water games. By the end we were having an all-out water war. One of the parents distracted me so that three youth could sneak up behind me and pour pitchers of water on my head. I proceeded to sic several of the kids on the parent, of course.
- The best part about the tear-down was trying to feel productive while completely soaked to the skin.
There were successes - helping a shy helper make a friend, watching the kids (even the youngest ones) learn about everything from Christmas to Pentecost, getting to know kids that I haven't interacted with much. There were failures - some of the music was above the kids' heads, the preschool helpers felt left out, we didn't have nearly as many kids as last year. But most of all, there was a whole lot of fun. I won't say I can't wait for next year, because God only knows how much I need a break. But I will say that all of the planning and stress and time was completely worth it. :)
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Ups and Downs and Lessons to Learn
Hello, friends! The past couple of weeks have been full of ups and downs. Here's a list for you (starting with the downs, so we end on a high note).
Downs:
Cleaning the vomit off of the living room carpet (18 hours later when I discovered it)
Fighting with my foster daughter about showering
The dog across the street whose owners have never heard of the word "leash"
Feeling like a one-man band at church
General, extreme exhaustion this weekend
Ups:
My foster daughter doing well at the doctor's office
Practicing with the new church softball team
My homemade meatballs getting a thumbs up from my foster daughter
Discovering a new favorite show, "Leverage" (check it out)
Hearing my nephew giggle over the phone
As I wrote this list, I divided my life into two basic categories: one involving my foster daughter, and one not. It was harder to come up with things that didn't involve her than I expected. I'm learning that everything I do affects her, even if I don't think it does or should. Everything I do involves her, even if I don't think it does or should. I talk a lot about what she needs to work on, but I have so much to work on as well to be the best parent I can be.
Well, time to go. Someone needs help setting up the Wii. I'll give you a hint... it's not Kensi. This is Iowa Girl Meets World, signing off.
Downs:
Cleaning the vomit off of the living room carpet (18 hours later when I discovered it)
Fighting with my foster daughter about showering
The dog across the street whose owners have never heard of the word "leash"
Feeling like a one-man band at church
General, extreme exhaustion this weekend
Ups:
My foster daughter doing well at the doctor's office
Practicing with the new church softball team
My homemade meatballs getting a thumbs up from my foster daughter
Discovering a new favorite show, "Leverage" (check it out)
Hearing my nephew giggle over the phone
As I wrote this list, I divided my life into two basic categories: one involving my foster daughter, and one not. It was harder to come up with things that didn't involve her than I expected. I'm learning that everything I do affects her, even if I don't think it does or should. Everything I do involves her, even if I don't think it does or should. I talk a lot about what she needs to work on, but I have so much to work on as well to be the best parent I can be.
Well, time to go. Someone needs help setting up the Wii. I'll give you a hint... it's not Kensi. This is Iowa Girl Meets World, signing off.
Friday, May 6, 2016
A Quiet Afternoon
Hello, friends! I'm writing to you on a rare quiet afternoon. Usually at this time I'm at the park, watching my foster child play and keeping my dog from jumping on everyone she sees. Today, however, my child has a borrowed DS game to play, giving me an opportunity to just sit for awhile.
(Shortly, though, I'll probably get up and do the dishes. What does it mean when I'm the responsible one in the house?)
I'm trying to come up with an appropriate analogy for what the last 20 or so days have been like. I wouldn't call them a roller coaster ride, because those freak me out. Let's call this experience so far a story. Stories have beginnings. This story began April 18th. It was a running start, no easing in here. Stories have exciting parts and slow parts and sweet parts and stressful parts.
Exciting parts: her arrival, getting her enrolled and started at a school with great educators, her first time at Midweek school.
Slow parts: lazy afternoons like this one, those peaceful couple of hours after she goes to bed, walking home with the dog after dropping her off at school in the morning.
Sweet parts: being called "Mom", watching her with Kensi, her telling me she feels at home here.
Stressful parts: brushing her hair, getting her to school on time, catching her stealing.
Stories also have a variety of characters. My child is one, but there are others: my caseworker, her caseworker, her teachers, her counselor, her doctor, all of the people at church who have been incredibly supportive.
(And the dog, of course. Can't forget the dog.)
I suppose that's enough sitting around for me. The dishes await. I hope you've all enjoyed this update on the life of a foster parent. Until next time!
(Shortly, though, I'll probably get up and do the dishes. What does it mean when I'm the responsible one in the house?)
I'm trying to come up with an appropriate analogy for what the last 20 or so days have been like. I wouldn't call them a roller coaster ride, because those freak me out. Let's call this experience so far a story. Stories have beginnings. This story began April 18th. It was a running start, no easing in here. Stories have exciting parts and slow parts and sweet parts and stressful parts.
Exciting parts: her arrival, getting her enrolled and started at a school with great educators, her first time at Midweek school.
Slow parts: lazy afternoons like this one, those peaceful couple of hours after she goes to bed, walking home with the dog after dropping her off at school in the morning.
Sweet parts: being called "Mom", watching her with Kensi, her telling me she feels at home here.
Stressful parts: brushing her hair, getting her to school on time, catching her stealing.
Stories also have a variety of characters. My child is one, but there are others: my caseworker, her caseworker, her teachers, her counselor, her doctor, all of the people at church who have been incredibly supportive.
(And the dog, of course. Can't forget the dog.)
I suppose that's enough sitting around for me. The dishes await. I hope you've all enjoyed this update on the life of a foster parent. Until next time!
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Today's Joy
Hello, friends! I have officially been a foster mom for three days, and what I have to say will be no surprise: I am EXHAUSTED. But happy! There's a lot I could say and a lot I'm not allowed to say. But here's what I want to say tonight.
I was a little worried about how my child would fit in at church. I know very well that kids can be cruel, especially when a child is kind of out there - so I was worried. I didn't know if she would fit in or if the other kids would let her fit in.
After Midweek this afternoon, my worries about that particular issue are GONE.
Several of the kids went up and introduced themselves without me having to suggest it. They were all playing together like they'd known each other for ages. One girl insisted that she sit next to her during opening. My child sat in on my confirmation class, and while my class was as wild as they usually are, they were unfailingly polite and kind to her.
Some of you know that I've been doing research on Christian community. This is it, guys. I have never witnessed a show of Christian community like I did today. Because I made an announcement that I was becoming a foster mother during church, I think the majority of kids knew that my child was in foster care - and instead of letting that knowledge cloud their view of her, they welcomed her into their group as openly and warmly as I've ever seen.
I'm not sure how to end this, because I'm so joyful I might cry. So I'll just end with this: say a prayer of thanksgiving tonight for my wonderful Midweek children. :)
I was a little worried about how my child would fit in at church. I know very well that kids can be cruel, especially when a child is kind of out there - so I was worried. I didn't know if she would fit in or if the other kids would let her fit in.
After Midweek this afternoon, my worries about that particular issue are GONE.
Several of the kids went up and introduced themselves without me having to suggest it. They were all playing together like they'd known each other for ages. One girl insisted that she sit next to her during opening. My child sat in on my confirmation class, and while my class was as wild as they usually are, they were unfailingly polite and kind to her.
Some of you know that I've been doing research on Christian community. This is it, guys. I have never witnessed a show of Christian community like I did today. Because I made an announcement that I was becoming a foster mother during church, I think the majority of kids knew that my child was in foster care - and instead of letting that knowledge cloud their view of her, they welcomed her into their group as openly and warmly as I've ever seen.
I'm not sure how to end this, because I'm so joyful I might cry. So I'll just end with this: say a prayer of thanksgiving tonight for my wonderful Midweek children. :)
Friday, April 15, 2016
Excuses
Hello, friends! I have a few thoughts for you on my foster parenting situation.
- I can't be a foster parent because I'm young.
- I can't be a foster parent because I'm single.
- I can't be a foster parent because I don't make enough money.
- I can't be a foster parent because I've never done this before.
- I can't be a foster parent because I won't be able to handle it.
You could also change up the wording on that list a bit.
- I shouldn't be a foster parent because I'm young.
- I shouldn't be a foster parent because I'm single.
- I shouldn't be a foster parent because I don't make enough money.
- I shouldn't be a foster parent because I've never done this before.
- I shouldn't be a foster parent because I won't be able to handle it.
Here's how I prefer to word it, though.
- I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I'm young. People under 25 don't become foster parents very often, but that doesn't mean it's bad or wrong. It's not about your age. It's about your dedication.
- I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I'm single. If I had the option, I would much prefer to be married and foster children with my spouse. However, that doesn't mean I can't help kids in this way now.
- I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I don't make enough money. God has given me what I have, and He intends for me to use it to His glory. Helping kids certainly qualifies for that more than many other options.
- I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I've never done this before. No one who becomes a parent for the first time has ever done it before, but they do it anyway. This is no different.
- I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I won't be able to handle it. I'm new at this. I'm going to make mistakes. Maybe it won't work out, but why should that stop me from trying?
I could use these excuses for almost anything. I shouldn't be a DCE because I won't be able to handle it. I can't donate to worthy causes because I don't make enough money. I could go on.
These are not excuses that are specific to me. All of us can apply these or similar excuses to every opportunity we have to do good in this world. It's time to stop making excuses and start making a difference. That difference might not look big. It might be as simple as donating diapers to a pregnancy center or driving an elderly person to the grocery store. But let me tell you - small differences have a domino effect. Already, before a foster child has even come into my home, my church is buzzing about foster care. They all want to know how they can help. It's my hope that, by taking in a foster child myself, I will inspire others to do the same. That's what it's all about - making a small difference that creates a big difference. So let's stop making those excuses and get out there.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Let's Celebrate
Hello, friends!
If any of you have talked to me at all during the month of March, you've probably caught on to the fact that it's been a stressful month. I am worn out. Work has not necessarily been bad, just... exhausting. I would love another day off so that I could sleep in.
Tomorrow is not going to be that day.
In fact, tomorrow, I will be waking up a full hour earlier than I normally do. I don't expect this to help with my worn-out state. Here's what I do expect:
-Celebration
-Rejoicing
-Saying that forbidden Lenten word over and over
-A lot of lilies
-A lot of laughter
-A sense of community that you don't see on many other days of the year
-Excitement
-Good food
-Good fun
-In general, happiness all around
All of those things sound wonderful, but here's what I expect most of all: to hear the most wonderful story ever told, the story that makes all of those things possible and meaningful.
More sleep would be great, and I'm sure I'm not the only person desiring it. But tomorrow is Easter, folks - and sleep can wait. I hope you will all be celebrating with me tomorrow!
If any of you have talked to me at all during the month of March, you've probably caught on to the fact that it's been a stressful month. I am worn out. Work has not necessarily been bad, just... exhausting. I would love another day off so that I could sleep in.
Tomorrow is not going to be that day.
In fact, tomorrow, I will be waking up a full hour earlier than I normally do. I don't expect this to help with my worn-out state. Here's what I do expect:
-Celebration
-Rejoicing
-Saying that forbidden Lenten word over and over
-A lot of lilies
-A lot of laughter
-A sense of community that you don't see on many other days of the year
-Excitement
-Good food
-Good fun
-In general, happiness all around
All of those things sound wonderful, but here's what I expect most of all: to hear the most wonderful story ever told, the story that makes all of those things possible and meaningful.
More sleep would be great, and I'm sure I'm not the only person desiring it. But tomorrow is Easter, folks - and sleep can wait. I hope you will all be celebrating with me tomorrow!
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Point Guards and DCEs
Hello, friends! I'm writing to you today while listening to the Drake-Sacred Heart women's basketball game. I've listened to or watched quite a few games this season, and there are a couple of names that come up very frequently. The first is Lizzy Wendell, the top scorer for Drake and the Missouri Valley conference overall. The second is a more interesting study - Caitlin Ingle, not top in points but in assists.
For those of you not versed in basketball terminology, an assist is attributed to a player who passes the ball to a teammate in a way that leads to a basket. Most players with many assists are point guards like Ingle, as their role is primarily that of passer and ballhandler. Ingle is particularly talented at reading the court. She always knows where everyone is on the floor, teammates and opponents alike. She knows what her teammates are capable of, and she uses all of this knowledge to pass the ball at crucial moments and lead her team to victory.
I think Caitlin Ingle is a good example of what I strive to be in my work as a DCE. I'm not out to score the most points, so to speak. It's not my job to succeed myself, it's my job to lead others to success. If I can put on an event or activity by myself, that's fine and good. But if I can get to know people well enough to help them take on leadership roles that fit their skills, if I can get my church members to a point where they're putting on events and activities with minimal help from me, that's far better. I want to be known for assists, not points.
The Drake women's basketball players were my idols as a kid. It was my dream to play on that team. Now I find my inspiration from them in different ways. Thanks, Drake, for always providing me with opportunities for dreaming and growth - and goooooo, Bulldogs!
For those of you not versed in basketball terminology, an assist is attributed to a player who passes the ball to a teammate in a way that leads to a basket. Most players with many assists are point guards like Ingle, as their role is primarily that of passer and ballhandler. Ingle is particularly talented at reading the court. She always knows where everyone is on the floor, teammates and opponents alike. She knows what her teammates are capable of, and she uses all of this knowledge to pass the ball at crucial moments and lead her team to victory.
I think Caitlin Ingle is a good example of what I strive to be in my work as a DCE. I'm not out to score the most points, so to speak. It's not my job to succeed myself, it's my job to lead others to success. If I can put on an event or activity by myself, that's fine and good. But if I can get to know people well enough to help them take on leadership roles that fit their skills, if I can get my church members to a point where they're putting on events and activities with minimal help from me, that's far better. I want to be known for assists, not points.
The Drake women's basketball players were my idols as a kid. It was my dream to play on that team. Now I find my inspiration from them in different ways. Thanks, Drake, for always providing me with opportunities for dreaming and growth - and goooooo, Bulldogs!
Friday, March 11, 2016
Single Life Struggles: Episode 2
Hello, friends! Here's another Single Life Struggle for you.
Single Life Struggle: when you are disorganized and also bad at keeping track of finances, and you just wish you had another person around to help you sort through the mountain of papers and find the ones you need for your tax appointment today because you're not sure you'll ever find them on your own.
Single Life Struggle: when you are disorganized and also bad at keeping track of finances, and you just wish you had another person around to help you sort through the mountain of papers and find the ones you need for your tax appointment today because you're not sure you'll ever find them on your own.
That's all folks- unless one of you wants to do my taxes and all other financial transactions for the rest of my life, because that would be fantastic.
Monday, March 7, 2016
5,000 Views and Counting
Hello, friends! Woot woot - as of a minute ago, my blog has 5,006 pageviews! That is super cool. I'm pumped. I promised a special blog if I got up to 5,000, so here goes nothing.
I have carefully studied the posts that have received the most all-time views. They include: "Roasted" (in which I detailed the roasting of the University Lutheran graduates); "A Wednesday in the Life" (in which I described a Wednesday in my LCI life); "I've been installed!" "Did it hurt?" (in which I described my installation in Tallahassee); "The Puzzle was BIG NEWS" (in which the puzzle was big news); and "Fireworks, Icebreakers, and Propitiation" (in which I described my 23rd birthday). You know what they all have in common? I'm not really sure either. But here's my guess: they all had pictures, and they were all fairly informative.
Therefore, this blog will include pictures, and at the end, there will be an announcement. Prepare yourselves, friends!
I'm writing this from my DCE study. It's slightly more organized this evening than it was this morning. (Trust me on that point.)
On my door I have this sign, given to me by Pastor Jay to remind me that Florida is probably warmer than wherever I am.
On the wall by the door I have my prayer map. The orange dots represent missionaries that I know, the pink dots represent other church workers that I know, and the green dots represent friends and family.
On the next wall, I have my calendar. I wanted one that showed me all 12 months at once because that way I can see things in perspective.
Right next to my desk I have a small white board with a rainbow fish that I made on my last Sunday at Messiah in Johnston, IA.
Behind my desk I have a cork board full of random notes.
To my left, I have my dog, because, well, she's cute.
Next to Kensi is my bookshelf, which will only hold all of my books until I acquire approximately one more book.
Above my bookshelf are items representing many of my favorite things: Concordia, campus ministry, Drake women's basketball, and, of course, my nephew. (I hope posting a distant picture of a small picture of my nephew doesn't get me into trouble with his parents...)
And the obligatory selfie.
Now that you're all satiated with a plethora of pictures (that's for you, Melissa), here's the announcement: I am in the process of becoming a foster parent. I'm in my DCE study tonight because it's the easiest place for me to watch training videos and scan documents to send to my case worker.
I decided to become a foster parent for a few reasons.
Number one, I want to help people. The kids in the foster system certainly need someone to help them, or they wouldn't be there.
Number two, I'm passionate about kids. I briefly worked for a residential treatment center, and while I didn't enjoy my time there, I did fall in love with the kids. For all of their troubles, they were just kids. That center is what made me interested in foster care in the first place. (In case you're wondering, I've requested to foster kids in the 11-18 age range. That probably seems crazy to many of you, but trust me when I say that I should not be fostering younger kids... I'd have no idea what to do with them. There's a reason I prefer youth ministry to children's ministry!)
Number three, my situation right now allows for foster care. I go to work at 8:30 and get off at 3:00 - perfect timing for dropping kids off at school and picking them up. I have a spare bedroom. I don't make a lot of money, but I also don't have student loans to pay off or other people who depend on me. As Pastor Jay would say, I'm fat - I'm faithful, available, and trainable to become a foster parent.
And number four, as much as I can without having actually done it, I understand the stress, challenge, and trouble that foster care can be - and I still want to do it, because I also understand the joy, opportunity, and benefit that foster care can be.
I know this won't be easy, but I know it will be worth it. I ask for your prayers and support as I continue down this journey. I'm not officially approved yet, but I expect it to happen within the next month at the latest. Needless to say, when I am actively fostering a child, you won't hear much about it because of privacy laws, but I will make sure to let you know when a child comes into my home so that you can pray for us.
This is Iowa Girl Meets World, signing off for the evening. Thank you all for helping me get to 5,000 views. :)
I have carefully studied the posts that have received the most all-time views. They include: "Roasted" (in which I detailed the roasting of the University Lutheran graduates); "A Wednesday in the Life" (in which I described a Wednesday in my LCI life); "I've been installed!" "Did it hurt?" (in which I described my installation in Tallahassee); "The Puzzle was BIG NEWS" (in which the puzzle was big news); and "Fireworks, Icebreakers, and Propitiation" (in which I described my 23rd birthday). You know what they all have in common? I'm not really sure either. But here's my guess: they all had pictures, and they were all fairly informative.
Therefore, this blog will include pictures, and at the end, there will be an announcement. Prepare yourselves, friends!
I'm writing this from my DCE study. It's slightly more organized this evening than it was this morning. (Trust me on that point.)
On my door I have this sign, given to me by Pastor Jay to remind me that Florida is probably warmer than wherever I am.
On the wall by the door I have my prayer map. The orange dots represent missionaries that I know, the pink dots represent other church workers that I know, and the green dots represent friends and family.
On the next wall, I have my calendar. I wanted one that showed me all 12 months at once because that way I can see things in perspective.
Right next to my desk I have a small white board with a rainbow fish that I made on my last Sunday at Messiah in Johnston, IA.
Behind my desk I have a cork board full of random notes.
To my left, I have my dog, because, well, she's cute.
Next to Kensi is my bookshelf, which will only hold all of my books until I acquire approximately one more book.
Above my bookshelf are items representing many of my favorite things: Concordia, campus ministry, Drake women's basketball, and, of course, my nephew. (I hope posting a distant picture of a small picture of my nephew doesn't get me into trouble with his parents...)
And the obligatory selfie.
Now that you're all satiated with a plethora of pictures (that's for you, Melissa), here's the announcement: I am in the process of becoming a foster parent. I'm in my DCE study tonight because it's the easiest place for me to watch training videos and scan documents to send to my case worker.
I decided to become a foster parent for a few reasons.
Number one, I want to help people. The kids in the foster system certainly need someone to help them, or they wouldn't be there.
Number two, I'm passionate about kids. I briefly worked for a residential treatment center, and while I didn't enjoy my time there, I did fall in love with the kids. For all of their troubles, they were just kids. That center is what made me interested in foster care in the first place. (In case you're wondering, I've requested to foster kids in the 11-18 age range. That probably seems crazy to many of you, but trust me when I say that I should not be fostering younger kids... I'd have no idea what to do with them. There's a reason I prefer youth ministry to children's ministry!)
Number three, my situation right now allows for foster care. I go to work at 8:30 and get off at 3:00 - perfect timing for dropping kids off at school and picking them up. I have a spare bedroom. I don't make a lot of money, but I also don't have student loans to pay off or other people who depend on me. As Pastor Jay would say, I'm fat - I'm faithful, available, and trainable to become a foster parent.
And number four, as much as I can without having actually done it, I understand the stress, challenge, and trouble that foster care can be - and I still want to do it, because I also understand the joy, opportunity, and benefit that foster care can be.
I know this won't be easy, but I know it will be worth it. I ask for your prayers and support as I continue down this journey. I'm not officially approved yet, but I expect it to happen within the next month at the latest. Needless to say, when I am actively fostering a child, you won't hear much about it because of privacy laws, but I will make sure to let you know when a child comes into my home so that you can pray for us.
This is Iowa Girl Meets World, signing off for the evening. Thank you all for helping me get to 5,000 views. :)
Thursday, March 3, 2016
World Book Day
Hello, friends! I have just discovered that it is World Book Day. Therefore, here are some of my favorite books.
- "First Test" by Tamora Pierce
- "The Horse and His Boy" by C.S. Lewis
- "Redwall" by Brian Jacques
- "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" by J. K. Rowling
- "Hope Was Here" by Joan Bauer
- "Ender's Shadow" by Orson Scott Card
- "Shadow Spinner" by Susan Fletcher
- "Dragonflight" by Anne McCaffrey
- "The Lightning Thief" by Rick Riordan
- "Shiloh" by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
What are some of your favorite books? Let me know in the comments!
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Single Life Struggles: Episode 1
Hello, friends. I'd like to welcome you to what will probably become a recurring segment on the Iowa Girl Meets World show. It's called Single Life Struggles. In this segment, your host (me) will demonstrate a struggle or two in the life of a young single adult (also me).
This is the first time I've lived alone. Yes, I was alone in my University Lutheran apartment last year, but let's face it, you're not really alone when you live in the basement of a church. (Just ask me about that time two parishioners thought I was dead...) Anyway, it truly is a struggle to live alone. I have a lot of examples of this, but let's start off with this picture.
This is the first time I've lived alone. Yes, I was alone in my University Lutheran apartment last year, but let's face it, you're not really alone when you live in the basement of a church. (Just ask me about that time two parishioners thought I was dead...) Anyway, it truly is a struggle to live alone. I have a lot of examples of this, but let's start off with this picture.
Single Life Struggle: when you have so few visitors that you don't do dishes for weeks (because who is going to see them?), and you are disgusted with yourself, but not enough to care until you really have nothing to eat off of and there is an unknown variety of mold growing in your sink, and you realize that almost every single dish needs to soak, but your sink isn't big enough for that, so you find a plastic storage bin and fill it with soapy water and put your dishes in it and still not all of them fit.
And then there's this:
Single Life Struggle: when you are living alone in a new place and you're trying to figure everything out (trash pickup, new doctor/dentist/veterinarian, good restaurants, taxes, insurance, bills, etc.) and you want to be a good citizen and recycle but that's another phone call you can't ask anyone else to make and you're just so tired of figuring things out that you save all your recycling (that's not even half of it) and keep telling yourself "I'll call tomorrow"... for five months.
This is what I mean when I tell people over the phone that I'm quite sure my house is messier than yours, thank you very much.
I know this is kind of a weird thing to blog about, but here's why I'm doing this. It's not to tell you that I don't like where I am. On the contrary, I love Enid and I love Redeemer. I'm sharing my Single Life Struggles with you because I feel alone a lot, and I don't think I actually am. These stories are embarrassing to me, but I don't think I'm the only person who struggles to wash their dishes. I don't think I'm the only person who doesn't like making phone calls. So if this strikes a chord with you, tell me. Maybe we'll both feel less alone.
(I feel like I should add - I'm sure these struggles aren't necessarily restricted to single people living alone. However, I think being single and living alone make these struggles not more difficult, but just... different.)
Friday, February 12, 2016
Mild Miracle
Hello, friends! A mild miracle has occurred today: my house is clean. I thought some of you might enjoy seeing some pictures of my uncommonly clean house, so here you go.
Exhibit A: My spare bedroom. I'm still deciding how I want to decorate it.
Exhibit B: My bedroom. Note the koala.
Exhibit C: My favorite room in the house, where all of my books are.
Exhibit D: My living room, complete with new love seat and chair.
Exhibit E: Obligatory photo of my backyard with my dog, because, well, she's cute.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Stream of Consciousness
Hello, friends! I hope you're having an excellent Thursday. It's actually my Friday, tomorrow being my day off. I've been relaxing (read: watching excessive amounts of the tv show Forever) pretty much since I left work.
Now, normally when I write blogs, I have some idea of what I want to get across to you, my readers. (Apparently, some of you are in Ukraine... Hi there!) Today, I've got nothing, but I'm bored, so here we are. Therefore you're going to get my stream of consciousness for awhile. :)
Work is interesting. Sometimes I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and I do it, and I feel accomplished. Other days I sit in my DCE study and look around and think, now what? Today was one of those days to a large extent. Maybe this will clear up with time. Or maybe I'm just perpetually confused. Either one is possible.
Speaking of sitting around, I do a lot of that at home these days. I still haven't made a whole lot of friends in Enid. Anyone know of effective ways to make friends your own age in a new town?
On the upside, I do have my adorable dog. Today I gave her a couple of ice cubes. She chewed them up, but only after she spent several minutes chasing them around the patio because they kept slipping out of her mouth. I'm so easily amused...
Lindsey was amused by my dog, too. My dear friend visited last week, which was absolutely delightful. I have missed my twin so much. I can count on one hand the number of people who can make me laugh like she can. For example, she gave me a lecture on how I eat bread. In case you're wondering, I eat it like a barbarian. Or so I'm told. She's also still complaining about how I ate spaghetti on a particular night four years ago.
While Lindsey was here, we visited a museum that documents the Oklahoma strip land run. Basically, they had people register, then had them line up along the border with their horses, wagons, etc. They then fired a gun into the air and thousands of people rushed as quickly as they could into the strip to stake their claim. There were all kinds of injuries because, well, it was a horse race with no rules or referees. Also, there were four offices for these thousands of people to register their claim with, and these offices had three clerks each. People had to wait for up to a week in line. Can you imagine that happening today? Holy cow. I can hardly even picture it.
(Also, in the late 1800s, houses commonly had muslin hung from their ceilings to keep large bugs from falling on people's heads. Lindsey and I decided that we're okay with that not being a big problem today.)
(We were also mistaken for LDS missionaries, I guess because we were two girls together?)
Well, my stream of consciousness seems to be drawing to a close for the moment. I'm completely ready to settle down and watch another episode of the sadly and ironically short-lived show Forever. Goodnight all!
Now, normally when I write blogs, I have some idea of what I want to get across to you, my readers. (Apparently, some of you are in Ukraine... Hi there!) Today, I've got nothing, but I'm bored, so here we are. Therefore you're going to get my stream of consciousness for awhile. :)
Work is interesting. Sometimes I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and I do it, and I feel accomplished. Other days I sit in my DCE study and look around and think, now what? Today was one of those days to a large extent. Maybe this will clear up with time. Or maybe I'm just perpetually confused. Either one is possible.
Speaking of sitting around, I do a lot of that at home these days. I still haven't made a whole lot of friends in Enid. Anyone know of effective ways to make friends your own age in a new town?
On the upside, I do have my adorable dog. Today I gave her a couple of ice cubes. She chewed them up, but only after she spent several minutes chasing them around the patio because they kept slipping out of her mouth. I'm so easily amused...
Lindsey was amused by my dog, too. My dear friend visited last week, which was absolutely delightful. I have missed my twin so much. I can count on one hand the number of people who can make me laugh like she can. For example, she gave me a lecture on how I eat bread. In case you're wondering, I eat it like a barbarian. Or so I'm told. She's also still complaining about how I ate spaghetti on a particular night four years ago.
While Lindsey was here, we visited a museum that documents the Oklahoma strip land run. Basically, they had people register, then had them line up along the border with their horses, wagons, etc. They then fired a gun into the air and thousands of people rushed as quickly as they could into the strip to stake their claim. There were all kinds of injuries because, well, it was a horse race with no rules or referees. Also, there were four offices for these thousands of people to register their claim with, and these offices had three clerks each. People had to wait for up to a week in line. Can you imagine that happening today? Holy cow. I can hardly even picture it.
(Also, in the late 1800s, houses commonly had muslin hung from their ceilings to keep large bugs from falling on people's heads. Lindsey and I decided that we're okay with that not being a big problem today.)
(We were also mistaken for LDS missionaries, I guess because we were two girls together?)
Well, my stream of consciousness seems to be drawing to a close for the moment. I'm completely ready to settle down and watch another episode of the sadly and ironically short-lived show Forever. Goodnight all!
Friday, January 22, 2016
A Story and a Prayer
Hello, friends! Today I have a story for you. It's about the second-best day of my life.
On December 23rd, 2014, I was in Arvada, Colorado, visiting my extended family for the holidays. My parents and I arrived in Arvada about an hour before my brother and sister-in-law did and went out to eat with my grandparents. We all went in one car, my parents and I nice and cozy in the backseat.
When we got back to my grandparents' house, we saw my brother's car. My mom was so excited that she quickly got out of the car and slammed the door... right on my forehead as I tried to exit the backseat after her. Naturally, this hurt. A lot. A lot a lot. Did I mention it hurt? We went inside, where my grandma got me some ice for my head and some Advil for the pain. I sat on a couch next to Zach and Lindsey, and my poor head was aching like no other.
You may be wondering, "Why on earth is this the second-best day of your life?" Just wait.
Zach told my parents that he and Lindsey had a Christmas present for them. My dad protested at first, saying that we weren't supposed to open presents until Christmas Eve, but finally he gave in and Zach handed him a small box. My dad opened it, my parents read what was inside, and my mom started to cry.
Keep in mind, I'm across the room, holding ice on my head and feeling very disoriented. I asked, "What does it say?" My mom said, "Come and read it!" Suddenly I realized what it had to be about, and I jumped up and ran across the room. It read, "Roses are red, violets are blue, on July 3rd your grandbaby is due."
I squealed and jumped up and down and then decided that was a terrible idea and sat back down before I fell over, but that didn't abate my excitement one bit. Lindsey was pregnant! I couldn't believe it! The rest of the night consisted of all of us freaking out (me most of all, to the surprise of none of you). When we got to our hotel that night, I texted some of my friends. I think the texts looked something like this: "Oh my gosh oh my gosh OH MY GOSH I'm an aunt!!"
Any guesses about the first best day of my life? No contest, the day my nephew was born, even if he was born two weeks early and I had to wait that long to meet him. I'll bug him about that inconvenience until my dying day, but June 19th, 2015, is still the best day ever. Ask Sarah Dittman about that one. I think she'll always remember it, too. :D
I tell you this story partly because I think it's hilarious that I probably had a minor concussion when Zach and Lindsey announced that they were having a baby. But the real reason is that the March for Life is being held today, and therefore I feel compelled to write about something pro-life. When Zach and Lindsey announced that they were expecting a baby, my first thought wasn't "I'm going to be an aunt!" My first thought was "I *am* an aunt!" My love for little Kylen Bjorn started that day, long before he was born, because he was as fully human on December 23rd as he was on June 19th. There were all kinds of developments between those two dates, but one thing didn't change - he's a person. That's a fact.
There is far more to the abortion debate than the personhood of the unborn, but I think it has to start there. If the unborn weren't people, I don't think there would be a debate. If the unborn weren't people, there would be no reason to argue about the legality of abortion. But they are. And so there is.
I can't be in D.C. today with the Marchers, but that's where my heart is. My heart is with those who march in the snow and the cold to protest abortion. My heart is with those who give up time and money and energy and comfort to bring attention to what may be the greatest issue of our day. My heart is with my nephew and all babies, born and unborn. I pray that they will be able to grow up in a world where children and women both are protected and valued as they should be.
On December 23rd, 2014, I was in Arvada, Colorado, visiting my extended family for the holidays. My parents and I arrived in Arvada about an hour before my brother and sister-in-law did and went out to eat with my grandparents. We all went in one car, my parents and I nice and cozy in the backseat.
When we got back to my grandparents' house, we saw my brother's car. My mom was so excited that she quickly got out of the car and slammed the door... right on my forehead as I tried to exit the backseat after her. Naturally, this hurt. A lot. A lot a lot. Did I mention it hurt? We went inside, where my grandma got me some ice for my head and some Advil for the pain. I sat on a couch next to Zach and Lindsey, and my poor head was aching like no other.
You may be wondering, "Why on earth is this the second-best day of your life?" Just wait.
Zach told my parents that he and Lindsey had a Christmas present for them. My dad protested at first, saying that we weren't supposed to open presents until Christmas Eve, but finally he gave in and Zach handed him a small box. My dad opened it, my parents read what was inside, and my mom started to cry.
Keep in mind, I'm across the room, holding ice on my head and feeling very disoriented. I asked, "What does it say?" My mom said, "Come and read it!" Suddenly I realized what it had to be about, and I jumped up and ran across the room. It read, "Roses are red, violets are blue, on July 3rd your grandbaby is due."
I squealed and jumped up and down and then decided that was a terrible idea and sat back down before I fell over, but that didn't abate my excitement one bit. Lindsey was pregnant! I couldn't believe it! The rest of the night consisted of all of us freaking out (me most of all, to the surprise of none of you). When we got to our hotel that night, I texted some of my friends. I think the texts looked something like this: "Oh my gosh oh my gosh OH MY GOSH I'm an aunt!!"
Any guesses about the first best day of my life? No contest, the day my nephew was born, even if he was born two weeks early and I had to wait that long to meet him. I'll bug him about that inconvenience until my dying day, but June 19th, 2015, is still the best day ever. Ask Sarah Dittman about that one. I think she'll always remember it, too. :D
I tell you this story partly because I think it's hilarious that I probably had a minor concussion when Zach and Lindsey announced that they were having a baby. But the real reason is that the March for Life is being held today, and therefore I feel compelled to write about something pro-life. When Zach and Lindsey announced that they were expecting a baby, my first thought wasn't "I'm going to be an aunt!" My first thought was "I *am* an aunt!" My love for little Kylen Bjorn started that day, long before he was born, because he was as fully human on December 23rd as he was on June 19th. There were all kinds of developments between those two dates, but one thing didn't change - he's a person. That's a fact.
There is far more to the abortion debate than the personhood of the unborn, but I think it has to start there. If the unborn weren't people, I don't think there would be a debate. If the unborn weren't people, there would be no reason to argue about the legality of abortion. But they are. And so there is.
I can't be in D.C. today with the Marchers, but that's where my heart is. My heart is with those who march in the snow and the cold to protest abortion. My heart is with those who give up time and money and energy and comfort to bring attention to what may be the greatest issue of our day. My heart is with my nephew and all babies, born and unborn. I pray that they will be able to grow up in a world where children and women both are protected and valued as they should be.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
We All Have a Voice
Hello, friends! Wow, it's my first blog of 2016. When I started this back in 2014 I never imagined I would have this much fun blogging. That shows what I know!
Anyway, I just finished watching the clip of Ellen DeGeneres winning the Humanitarian Award at the People's Choice Awards. She's a truly inspirational person - someone who firmly believes in one ideal (be kind to one another) and embodies it in every aspect of her life. Obviously, there are many points where I disagree with Ellen, but no one can deny that she is incredibly kind. She uses her talk show, her wealth, and her sense of humor to spread kindness around the world.
Sometimes I look at the problems in our world and wonder, what can I do? How can I help the homeless people in Enid or Syrian refugees overseas or bullied kids in our schools or people in abusive relationships? What can I do? I'm just one person. I don't have the influence that someone like Ellen does, and even she hasn't been able to solve these problems.
I don't think anyone reading this has quite as global of a voice as Ellen does. (If you do, please let me know, because apparently you're famous and I didn't know it.) But the fact is, we all have a voice. We all have a chance at influencing the people around us. If we as Christians truly embody our ideals of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control - if we make them a vital part of our identities and use what we have been given to spread them to those around us - then we can change the world. While I was in Florida, my mantra was "every person matters." This applies here. We can't change the world all in one fell swoop. But if we manage to influence one person, who influences one person, who influences one person, then the world will change gradually.
I'm a Director of Christian Education. My goal is to influence the people of Redeemer Lutheran Church with those ideals, the fruits of the Spirit. I almost wrote "I want to influence everyone I work with," but then I realized that even that is too big of a scope. I am one person. I can't do that. But I can influence the teenagers in my youth group. I can influence the leaders who work with me directly. I can influence the parents in my congregation. By narrowing my vision, my goals become clearer. I'm able to recognize my limitations and emphasize my strengths.
Let me give you an example. I was bullied as a kid in middle school, so bullied kids are a particular source of passion for me. I have one in my confirmation class. She's one of those awkward preteens who attracts a lot of teasing, just like I was. So as I was planning for my junior high youth group, I decided to focus on friendship this semester. I probably won't ever address the problem directly. This is something that I can't fix directly, just like my teachers couldn't. But I can influence it. I can point out the principles of friendship, the problem of excluding others, and biblical examples of good friends. Through this message, repeated over and over again throughout the semester, I'm hoping that I can show the bullies what they're doing wrong, and the bullied what she is truly worth to me and to God.
That's my example. What's yours? How are you influencing those around you?
Anyway, I just finished watching the clip of Ellen DeGeneres winning the Humanitarian Award at the People's Choice Awards. She's a truly inspirational person - someone who firmly believes in one ideal (be kind to one another) and embodies it in every aspect of her life. Obviously, there are many points where I disagree with Ellen, but no one can deny that she is incredibly kind. She uses her talk show, her wealth, and her sense of humor to spread kindness around the world.
Sometimes I look at the problems in our world and wonder, what can I do? How can I help the homeless people in Enid or Syrian refugees overseas or bullied kids in our schools or people in abusive relationships? What can I do? I'm just one person. I don't have the influence that someone like Ellen does, and even she hasn't been able to solve these problems.
I don't think anyone reading this has quite as global of a voice as Ellen does. (If you do, please let me know, because apparently you're famous and I didn't know it.) But the fact is, we all have a voice. We all have a chance at influencing the people around us. If we as Christians truly embody our ideals of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control - if we make them a vital part of our identities and use what we have been given to spread them to those around us - then we can change the world. While I was in Florida, my mantra was "every person matters." This applies here. We can't change the world all in one fell swoop. But if we manage to influence one person, who influences one person, who influences one person, then the world will change gradually.
I'm a Director of Christian Education. My goal is to influence the people of Redeemer Lutheran Church with those ideals, the fruits of the Spirit. I almost wrote "I want to influence everyone I work with," but then I realized that even that is too big of a scope. I am one person. I can't do that. But I can influence the teenagers in my youth group. I can influence the leaders who work with me directly. I can influence the parents in my congregation. By narrowing my vision, my goals become clearer. I'm able to recognize my limitations and emphasize my strengths.
Let me give you an example. I was bullied as a kid in middle school, so bullied kids are a particular source of passion for me. I have one in my confirmation class. She's one of those awkward preteens who attracts a lot of teasing, just like I was. So as I was planning for my junior high youth group, I decided to focus on friendship this semester. I probably won't ever address the problem directly. This is something that I can't fix directly, just like my teachers couldn't. But I can influence it. I can point out the principles of friendship, the problem of excluding others, and biblical examples of good friends. Through this message, repeated over and over again throughout the semester, I'm hoping that I can show the bullies what they're doing wrong, and the bullied what she is truly worth to me and to God.
That's my example. What's yours? How are you influencing those around you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)