Church Workers Are People Too

Hello, friends.

My heart hurts today. I'm not going to share all of the details, because they're not mine to tell, but here's the gist: a pastor I know was ousted by his congregation.

On behalf of church workers everywhere, please remember that church workers are people too. We are sinners and saints, just like you. We aren't perfect - and God knew that when He called us to our churches. He called us there anyway. So if you have an issue with a church worker, keep these three things in mind:

1) Go talk to them. That sounds obvious, but in a conflict, our first reaction is often to talk about it to someone else. I'm guilty of that. Go talk to the church worker and be willing to work things out. Don't charge into their office and yell at them until they agree with you. Go into the conversation with an open mind and the desire to find a solution that works for both of you.

2) Know that church workers cannot read minds. Something that seems obvious to you might not be obvious to them. And then there's the other side of the coin - something that seems obvious to them might not be obvious to you. Church workers generally have reasons for the things they do. If you're concerned about something, ask about their reasoning before you judge.

3) Have compassion. When the aforementioned congregation ousted their pastor, they also ousted that pastor's wife and children from their home and school. Before the situation got to this point, the congregation had reduced the pastor's salary so much that the family was living on food stamps. It baffles me that a church could have so little compassion for those kids, if nothing else.

Please, please, please. Don't let this happen anywhere else. Stand up for your church workers, imperfect as they may be. They are people too, and they deserve your kindness and respect.

(And if you know of a vacant congregation, let me know.)

Joy in Judo

Hello, friends! My daughter and I had Judo class tonight. It was delightful. Let me tell you a few reasons why.

1) Self-defense, man. It's so important for me and my daughter to learn how to defend ourselves.

2) Judo teaches discipline and patience - something that me and my daughter both struggle with.

3) There are people my daughter's age and people my age in the class. You might know that I've struggled to make friends in Enid. Tonight I spent maybe ten minutes talking to an adult who was not a member of my church. That's so rare; I value the friendships I'm building so much!

4) I think it's wonderful that my daughter and I are able to do this together. It allows us to encourage each other. She sees that I'm not automatically good at this, that I fail (often), and that it's okay to fail. She sees me practicing and learning, and it inspires her to do the same.

5) I seriously love learning new skills, and this is completely new.

That about sums it up, I think. I'm really hoping that taking this class and sticking with it (at least for a while) will give my daughter confidence. And I'm not gonna lie, I could use some confidence too. :)

My Starfish

Hello, friends.

The other day, I wrote a blog post entitled "The Little Boy and the Starfish." I'd recommend you read that one before you read this one, because I'm going to talk about my starfish, and if you haven't read the previous post, you'll be confused.

Okay, here we go.

My starfish wears a lot of pink. She is a My Little Pony fanatic who can tell you everything there is to know about the Mane Six (and everyone else). Whenever someone enters the house, she instantly wants to play My Little Pony with them, and she will gladly play it for hours or even days at a time. Just ask Melissa or Lindsey about their recent visits to my house.

My starfish does not like homework. She doesn't mind school, but she does mind schoolwork. When she's decided that she's done for the day, that's it, and nothing her teachers say can change her mind. I seem to be the only one capable of getting her to finish her homework, and it's not exactly easy for me. She lies about it frequently and only tells the truth when I threaten to take away swimming privileges at the Y.

My starfish loves my dog, and my dog loves her. My starfish also loves little kids. She helps in the nursery on Sunday mornings and is slowly but surely learning that taking care of kids is different from being friends with them. She likes being in charge. When she plays with other kids, she sets the tone of the games.

My starfish doesn't act her age. She chews with her mouth open, shouts and screams when she gets excited or frustrated, cries to garner sympathy when things don't go her way, only uses proper hygiene techniques when forced, and has trouble thinking outside the box. When she could pick anywhere to eat, she wants McDonald's. When I ask where she wants to go to celebrate a special event, she says Wal-Mart. Those are the places she knows she likes, and she would be content to never go anywhere but those two places ever again.

My starfish is creative. She doesn't just watch movies; she watches movies, listens to the songs in the movies, creates dances for the songs, and then performs them for anyone who will watch. My starfish likes to read; her favorite series is "Pony Pals," an old favorite of mine when I was younger. My starfish can make pancakes and sew pony dresses and play a mean game of Skee Ball.

A year ago yesterday was the day I met my starfish, and I wouldn't have things any other way.

The Little Boy and the Starfish

Hello, friends.

We live in a scary world. Every day we hear about new tragedies, here in the US and around the world. Just last week here in Enid a newborn baby was found dead in a dumpster. It's still unclear how the poor child ended up there.

I often find myself feeling overwhelmed. There is so much wrong in the world. How can we have hope?

Have you ever heard the story of the little boy and the starfish? It goes something like this:

A man was walking along the seashore. Hundreds of starfish had been washed up on the sand. As he walked, the man saw a little boy picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean. 

Walking up to the boy, the man asked, "Why are you throwing them back? Look at how many there are. It won't make any difference."

The little boy thought for a moment, then shrugged and threw another starfish into the ocean. "It made a difference to that one," he replied.

We can't solve all of the world's problems, but that doesn't mean we can't make a difference. I don't know how that poor baby ended up in a dumpster last week, but can you imagine the difference just one person could have made?

The story of the little boy and the starfish is one that foster parents often refer to; there are so many foster children, and we can't possibly help them all - but that doesn't mean we shouldn't help the ones we can.

However, this story isn't just meaningful to foster parents. I challenge you, as we enter the Easter season, to look for the people you can help. You can make a difference. Don't lose hope.

Super DCE to the Rescue

Not all heroes wear capes. Some of us wear dress pants and nice shirts. Or sometimes jeans and nice shirts. Occasionally shorts and t-shirts. I don't have a uniform, okay? I just don't wear a cape. I'm Super DCE, and I can do anything! The acolyte hasn't shown up yet? It's Super DCE with the save, recruiting another likely young person. The sound system isn't working? Not a problem for Super DCE – I'll just shout my children's message. There's a dog loose in the parking lot? Don't worry, I'll... wait, that's my dog. That's embarrassing.

It's not all fun and games for Super DCE, despite what most people think. Just to clear the air: Super DCE does not play with kids all day long, although I would probably enjoy that. At least for a week or so. Yeah, actually, Vacation Bible School once a year is enough to play with kids all the time. Have you ever led a Vacation Bible School? Can you say exhausting?

Speaking of exhausting, have you ever been to a National Youth Gathering? Let me tell you, Super DCE rocked that last National Youth Gathering. And then, after I got home, I immediately crashed. All of that counting was a struggle. I'm not good at math, you see, and I had to count my students constantly. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve... where's Alex??

Vacation Bible Schools and National Youth Gatherings are in my call documents, but Super DCE is actually in charge of all kinds of things. I am the guardian of the basketballs, the locker of doors, the fixer of computers, the organizer of the pantry, and the maker of the Sacrament of Coffee. The Pre-K Sunday school teacher doesn't show? Super DCE steps in with a storybook and crayons. The storage closet is a mess? Super DCE takes a day to go through every. single. bottle. of paint. Why do we have 75 bottles of paint? That is beyond the grasp of even Super DCE.

It often seems like it's always Super DCE to the rescue. No matter what the problem is, I end up trying to address it. There's infighting among the leaders of the church? Super DCE to the rescue! A building project is trying to get off the ground? Super DCE to the rescue! Someone is trying to pass a flawed budget? Super DCE to the rescue!

At the end of the day, though, I know that I'm not really the rescuer. Super DCE is great, but even heroes need a hero, and not one that wears a cape. My hero wears a crown of thorns. When Super DCE loses her temper, Jesus is there. When Super DCE is tired, Jesus is there. When Super DCE is out of ideas, Jesus is there. No matter how hard I try, Super DCE can't save the whole world – and that's okay. Jesus already did.

Addendum to Learning through "Beauty and the Beast"

Hello, friends.

Near the end of my time in Tallahassee, Pastor Jay had me come up with a personal meaning statement. It is (drum roll please) "helping others find their place in God's story."

This statement has many facets to it, but the one I want to focus on tonight is the word "story." I believe two things: first, everyone has a story, and second, everyone is part of a bigger story - God's story.

Everyone has a story. As a DCE, I hear people's stories all the time. It is both the best and the worst part of my job. I hear all the happy things (I got a job; I'm dating someone) and all the sad things (My parents are divorcing; I'm depressed). No matter what your story is, part of my calling as a DCE is to respect and love you enough to listen to it.

Everyone is part of a bigger story - God's story. Yes, I hear the sad things. My story has sad things in it, too, and as a foster parent, I'm learning about the sad things more and more. But our stories, the happy and the sad, fit into the greater plan of God. I am able to look back at my life and say, "That's why God had me go through that - so I would be helpful to this person here today." Knowing that God is in control gives me a new perspective.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this tonight. I'm still thinking about the controversy surrounding the new "Beauty and the Beast." Maybe I'm biased because I've been excited about this movie for so long, but here's what I think: if I am truly called to help others find their place in God's story, I have to be willing to listen to theirs. If I reject the opportunity to listen and learn, how am I supposed to do that?

One of my favorite Bible stories is found in Matthew chapter 9. It reads,

As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, 'Follow me.' And he rose and followed him.

And as Jesus reclined at table in his house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" But when he heard it, he said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.' For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.

I don't expect people who aren't Christians to act Christian. I do expect them to want to be heard, and I intend to listen to and learn from them, just as Jesus did. I'm not saying that I agree with them. I'm not saying that I'm going to change my opinions and beliefs for them. I am saying that I believe they have a story, just as all of us do, and I want to hear it. Yes, for me, part of that comes through watching movies like "Beauty and the Beast" and tv shows like "Supergirl" with values that I don't necessarily align myself with.

I don't expect the entertainment industry to act Christian. I expect them to tell the stories that matter to them. And if my goal is truly to help them find their place in God's story, I have to listen to their stories, first.

Learning through "Beauty and the Beast"

Hello, friends. If there are any spelling errors in this blog, please excuse them. Someone insisted on playing fetch while I was writing.

The news came out recently that there will be an openly gay character in the new live-action "Beauty and the Beast." I know that there are many people outraged by this. They don't want to watch a movie with a gay character. They don't want their kids to be influenced by a gay character. And believe me, I get that.

I also get that the movie industry is not a Christian conservative one, and I don't expect them to echo my Christian conservative views. In fact, I expect the complete opposite - and I find that to be useful. On a day-to-day basis, I mostly interact with people who share my values. Watching movies and TV shows where the characters don't share my values gives me opportunities for learning and growth that I don't get elsewhere.

So I probably will go see "Beauty and the Beast." Will the part with the openly gay character be my favorite? No, it won't - but it will be the most educational.