Hello, friends. Some bedtime puns for you:
What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile.
What do you call a pig who does taekwondo?
A pork chop.
What do you call an ordinary potato?
A commentator.
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
What do you call a number that won't stand still?
A roamin' numeral.
And a compliment to see you off:
If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Much Sense, and the Best of Friends
Hello, friends.
Monday was Nonsense, Tuesday was Some Sense, which makes today Much Sense. I asked a good friend what I should write about today, and she thought about it for a minute, and then she said, "Woof." I'm not sure what that means...
She also told me to watch the Lenten devotional video from Hales Corners Lutheran Church and write about that, so here goes!
The title of the video was "Love is... honest."
That actually resonates with me quite a bit. My closest friends are the ones with whom I feel safe being honest - whether that honesty is positive or negative. I like to use words of affirmation, but frequently I'll say them in a joking tone for fear of... what, I'm not sure exactly. With my closest friends, I do everything in my power to make sure they know how much I love and appreciate them. I
also like to point out things that aren't good for my friends. If I know they're doing something potentially harmful to themselves, whether physically or psychologically or spiritually, I bring it up. I don't let those things slide with my people. They're my friends! I love them too much for that.
That's how God treats us. He's way better at it than I am, obviously. He is always honest with us. He tells us how He really feels about us - His words of affirmation are found everywhere in the Bible, even the very first chapter:
"And (on the day He created humanity) God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." -Genesis 1:31
We are very good, God's most precious creation, the one He formed in His own image. He loves us so much that we can't even imagine it.
Of course, God is also not willing to let us do bad things. He speaks to us plainly about anger, lust, divorce, retaliation, greed, anxiety, and judgment - and that's just in the Sermon on the Mount alone. God is not okay with it when we harm ourselves or others. He tells us exactly how He feels about that.
Honesty, to me, is the best form of friendship. Sure, good friends make jokes and help you move and feed you pizza, but they also can be trusted with the things that weigh heavy on your heart.
God is that friend for you. He loves you, and because He loves you, He will always be honest with you, and you can always be honest with Him. Lent is the perfect time to reflect on that.
.
.
.
Whoa, what a shift, eh? See, I can still write serious blog posts. Tomorrow, however, look forward to some punny jokes.
Monday was Nonsense, Tuesday was Some Sense, which makes today Much Sense. I asked a good friend what I should write about today, and she thought about it for a minute, and then she said, "Woof." I'm not sure what that means...
She also told me to watch the Lenten devotional video from Hales Corners Lutheran Church and write about that, so here goes!
The title of the video was "Love is... honest."
That actually resonates with me quite a bit. My closest friends are the ones with whom I feel safe being honest - whether that honesty is positive or negative. I like to use words of affirmation, but frequently I'll say them in a joking tone for fear of... what, I'm not sure exactly. With my closest friends, I do everything in my power to make sure they know how much I love and appreciate them. I
also like to point out things that aren't good for my friends. If I know they're doing something potentially harmful to themselves, whether physically or psychologically or spiritually, I bring it up. I don't let those things slide with my people. They're my friends! I love them too much for that.
That's how God treats us. He's way better at it than I am, obviously. He is always honest with us. He tells us how He really feels about us - His words of affirmation are found everywhere in the Bible, even the very first chapter:
"And (on the day He created humanity) God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." -Genesis 1:31
We are very good, God's most precious creation, the one He formed in His own image. He loves us so much that we can't even imagine it.
Of course, God is also not willing to let us do bad things. He speaks to us plainly about anger, lust, divorce, retaliation, greed, anxiety, and judgment - and that's just in the Sermon on the Mount alone. God is not okay with it when we harm ourselves or others. He tells us exactly how He feels about that.
Honesty, to me, is the best form of friendship. Sure, good friends make jokes and help you move and feed you pizza, but they also can be trusted with the things that weigh heavy on your heart.
God is that friend for you. He loves you, and because He loves you, He will always be honest with you, and you can always be honest with Him. Lent is the perfect time to reflect on that.
.
.
.
Whoa, what a shift, eh? See, I can still write serious blog posts. Tomorrow, however, look forward to some punny jokes.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Some Sense (But Not Much)
Hello, friends!
Yesterday was nonsense day, so naturally today is "some sense" day.
I just googled "some sense" to see what would come up, and basically the results were variations on "talk some sense into you." So here is my attempt to talk some sense into all you people out there who clearly need it more than me.
Read books! Even the weird ones (like "The Real Mother Goose" ... yes, I'm still confused and will keep bringing it up) can bring you joy and entertainment and help you learn. I'm currently reading two books, because of who I am as a person, so I recommend "Trickster's Choice" by Tamora Pierce and "Redwoods and Whales" by Phil Collins.
Do your dishes! Normally I would not use an exclamation point in the same context as doing my dishes, one of my least favorite activities, but seriously, clean dishes are so helpful. Your kitchen is always cleaner if you don't have unwashed dishes around, you can then eat off of the clean dishes (and who doesn't love eating?), and it's a relatively quick way to feel productive. If you need a way to feel good about yourself, do your dishes.
Play games! I recently (and mostly accidentally) dominated a game of Life. It was amazing. Please share your most recent game experiences.
Watch basketball. It's awesome. True fact.
And last but not least, find some nice-smelling things and enjoy them. Candles, lotion, shampoo, body wash, bacon, your significant other... It's worth it!
Okay, there's your some sense for the day. Return tomorrow for the finale of the trilogy, "much sense."
Yesterday was nonsense day, so naturally today is "some sense" day.
I just googled "some sense" to see what would come up, and basically the results were variations on "talk some sense into you." So here is my attempt to talk some sense into all you people out there who clearly need it more than me.
Read books! Even the weird ones (like "The Real Mother Goose" ... yes, I'm still confused and will keep bringing it up) can bring you joy and entertainment and help you learn. I'm currently reading two books, because of who I am as a person, so I recommend "Trickster's Choice" by Tamora Pierce and "Redwoods and Whales" by Phil Collins.
Do your dishes! Normally I would not use an exclamation point in the same context as doing my dishes, one of my least favorite activities, but seriously, clean dishes are so helpful. Your kitchen is always cleaner if you don't have unwashed dishes around, you can then eat off of the clean dishes (and who doesn't love eating?), and it's a relatively quick way to feel productive. If you need a way to feel good about yourself, do your dishes.
Play games! I recently (and mostly accidentally) dominated a game of Life. It was amazing. Please share your most recent game experiences.
Watch basketball. It's awesome. True fact.
And last but not least, find some nice-smelling things and enjoy them. Candles, lotion, shampoo, body wash, bacon, your significant other... It's worth it!
Okay, there's your some sense for the day. Return tomorrow for the finale of the trilogy, "much sense."
Monday, March 23, 2020
A Message of Hope (And Elves) (And Bacon) (And Geese)
Hello, friends!
Today, I bring you a message of hope. Hope, of course, stands for Hopping Over Parisian Elves.
That's right, today is nonsense day at Iowa Girl Meets World headquarters. Maybe tomorrow I'll provide some sense, but let's face it, where would the fun be in that?
Have I ever told you about the time I fried bacon on the stove while video chatting with Melissa and managed to make it explode? Probably not, because that just happened. Don't worry, no one was harmed in the making of this story. Mostly.
Fun fact: did you know that, in 1916, certain words that are considered "bad" today were not considered "bad"? It's true. For reference, be sure to read the extremely bizarre rhymes in "The Real Mother Goose," given to fourth and fifth grade classrooms all across the Badger State. I won't give you the wildly inappropriate rhymes (though I will send pictures upon request), but here's a taste of the weirdness:
Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who would n't say his prayers.
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.
I did not make this up. I wish I had made that up, because... what???
One more silly story before I go clean my kitchen, maybe. Behold, my favorite story from when my nephew was little(r). He strongly disapproved of people who did not wear shoes. If you dared to go shoeless in his presence, he would track down your shoes and present then to you so you could put them back on. Because what's the point of having shoes if you are not wearing them? Honestly, people, keep up.
That's all the nonsense I have time for this evening. I hope this made your smile, and I'll see you again tomorrow!
Today, I bring you a message of hope. Hope, of course, stands for Hopping Over Parisian Elves.
That's right, today is nonsense day at Iowa Girl Meets World headquarters. Maybe tomorrow I'll provide some sense, but let's face it, where would the fun be in that?
Have I ever told you about the time I fried bacon on the stove while video chatting with Melissa and managed to make it explode? Probably not, because that just happened. Don't worry, no one was harmed in the making of this story. Mostly.
Fun fact: did you know that, in 1916, certain words that are considered "bad" today were not considered "bad"? It's true. For reference, be sure to read the extremely bizarre rhymes in "The Real Mother Goose," given to fourth and fifth grade classrooms all across the Badger State. I won't give you the wildly inappropriate rhymes (though I will send pictures upon request), but here's a taste of the weirdness:
Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who would n't say his prayers.
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.
I did not make this up. I wish I had made that up, because... what???
One more silly story before I go clean my kitchen, maybe. Behold, my favorite story from when my nephew was little(r). He strongly disapproved of people who did not wear shoes. If you dared to go shoeless in his presence, he would track down your shoes and present then to you so you could put them back on. Because what's the point of having shoes if you are not wearing them? Honestly, people, keep up.
That's all the nonsense I have time for this evening. I hope this made your smile, and I'll see you again tomorrow!
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