Mary Magdalene and the Mental Health of Church Workers

Hello, friends. 

Back in March, I had to write an article for my church's monthly newsletter. I wasn't in a very good mood that day - in fact, I hadn't been having a particularly good month in general - so, I wrote about it. I described my feelings of general down-ness, and followed it up with the story of Mary Magdalene on Easter morning. She was also feeling down, like nothing was ever going to be all right again, but then Jesus literally came into the picture and changed everything. I ended my article with my assurance that Jesus would come into my picture and change everything, too.

The responses I recieved were largely secondhand. Some members of the congregation approached some leaders and asked if I was really that unhappy here. It didn't help my emotional state to learn that they appeared to consider my state of mind as a personnel issue, not a personal one - and to realize that they missed the big picture: my faith that Jesus would make all the difference. 

This week has been a tough one from the get-go, and it doesn't seem to be improving. Once again, today happened to be a day on which I needed to write a newsletter article. I considered for about thirty seconds the option of revisiting my March article. I ended up choosing a different topic, because I couldn't stomach the reactions I might get.

Talking about mental health is never easy, but it's made even more difficult as a church worker because we're not supposed to need these discussions. Even on an okay day, when I'm focused and feeling good, I have well-meaning people tell me to smile more, and you know what I do? I smile and nod and agree, because what else can I do? But inwardly, I'm shrinking even farther back into my shell, knowing that a conversation about why I'm not smiling more isn't welcome here. They want me to grin and bear it. No matter that vacancies are exceptionally stressful. No matter that when I ask, no, beg for help, I rarely receive it. No matter that I'm the senior called church worker after being a DCE for less than three years. No matter that, when our last pastor left, I had one less friend, confidant, babysitter in an already very sparse pool. Grin and bear it, Mary.

I'm not painting a picture of every person at Redeemer, of course. I have many wonderful people there who have honest and present concern for my well-being. But often, those people feel few and far between. 

In these situations, I always return to Mary Magdalene on Easter morning. When she needed him the most, Jesus appeared and said her name. Conveniently, her name is also my name, which is only one of the reasons I love this passage so dearly. I know that, on any given day, at every moment, despite anything that might be happening, Jesus is saying my name and reminding me that I am not alone. 

The Little Boy and the Starfish

Hello, friends.

We live in a scary world. Every day we hear about new tragedies, here in the US and around the world. Just last week here in Enid a newborn baby was found dead in a dumpster. It's still unclear how the poor child ended up there.

I often find myself feeling overwhelmed. There is so much wrong in the world. How can we have hope?

Have you ever heard the story of the little boy and the starfish? It goes something like this:

A man was walking along the seashore. Hundreds of starfish had been washed up on the sand. As he walked, the man saw a little boy picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean. 

Walking up to the boy, the man asked, "Why are you throwing them back? Look at how many there are. It won't make any difference."

The little boy thought for a moment, then shrugged and threw another starfish into the ocean. "It made a difference to that one," he replied.

We can't solve all of the world's problems, but that doesn't mean we can't make a difference. I don't know how that poor baby ended up in a dumpster last week, but can you imagine the difference just one person could have made?

The story of the little boy and the starfish is one that foster parents often refer to; there are so many foster children, and we can't possibly help them all - but that doesn't mean we shouldn't help the ones we can.

However, this story isn't just meaningful to foster parents. I challenge you, as we enter the Easter season, to look for the people you can help. You can make a difference. Don't lose hope.

Let's Celebrate

Hello, friends!

If any of you have talked to me at all during the month of March, you've probably caught on to the fact that it's been a stressful month. I am worn out. Work has not necessarily been bad, just... exhausting. I would love another day off so that I could sleep in.

Tomorrow is not going to be that day.

In fact, tomorrow, I will be waking up a full hour earlier than I normally do. I don't expect this to help with my worn-out state. Here's what I do expect:

-Celebration
-Rejoicing
-Saying that forbidden Lenten word over and over
-A lot of lilies
-A lot of laughter
-A sense of community that you don't see on many other days of the year
-Excitement
-Good food
-Good fun
-In general, happiness all around

All of those things sound wonderful, but here's what I expect most of all: to hear the most wonderful story ever told, the story that makes all of those things possible and meaningful.

More sleep would be great, and I'm sure I'm not the only person desiring it. But tomorrow is Easter, folks - and sleep can wait. I hope you will all be celebrating with me tomorrow!

A Baskin Robbins Blog

Hello, friends! I'm writing this from Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins while enjoying a delicious chocolate milkshake. I hope you are equally well set up! I apologize for my blog being a day late. I would give you an excuse, but I have none...

Anyway, here I am! Let me tell you about my week. It's been a fairly slow one compared to last week. I met up with a few students, had a lesson with my Mormon missionary friends, went to Elm's chamber choir concert, and led Vespers on Wednesday night. I didn't get out to either garden this week; I missed Tuesday because of Elm's concert and yesterday because it was raining. I did, however, get out to the food bank last Friday afternoon to volunteer with Rina! Coming up soon is the senior roast on Sunday (where I get to make fun of my students, woohoo!) and the end of the semester, when 40,000 people will leave town just as suddenly as they arrived in August.

"The future" in general has been on my mind a lot lately. Although I have a few job possibilities, I'm still looking for more places to apply, so feel free to fill me in if you see a likely position! I feel like I'm in limbo again, much like when I graduated from college. People keep asking me, "So what are you going to do after you're done here?", and I reply with, "That is an excellent question!" I'm looking forward to a time when I don't have to shrug my shoulders and say, "I have no idea."

I'll end on a more cheerful note - over Easter, my old roommate Lindsey came to visit me! We went to the FSU circus and Wakulla Springs in between watching excessive hours of tv shows and playing Castle: The Detective Card Game. She was surprised to see (as some of you might be, if you didn't see this picture before) that I cut off 10 inches of my hair to donate to Locks of Love! :)

The Urgent Easter Message

Hello, friends! I hope you all had exciting Easter celebrations last weekend and that you will continue celebrating Easter all year round. After all, every Sunday is a little Easter!

This evening has been an interesting one for me. It started out at the Frenchtown community garden, where we planted seeds with the kids and had a great time. I returned and left again with Pastor Jay for the Go Week Kick-Off at Moore Auditorium, where we sang and prayed and generally prepared ourselves for Go Week. When it was over, I did as my Mormon missionary friends had requested: I listened to one of their "General Conference" sessions from last weekend. Now, here I am, writing a blog. What should I say about today?

Here's what today (and most days here in Tallahassee) has taught me: our message is urgent. The kids and volunteers at the garden need to hear the Easter message. The freshmen that Go Week seeks to reach need to hear the Easter message. My Mormon missionary friends need to hear the Easter message. Every person in every place needs to hear the Easter message. This isn't something I can put off until tomorrow. Jesus might come back tomorrow. I need to share the Easter message today.

I can't reach everyone, but if we all reach one person, we can reach everyone. This blog is a challenge to all of my Christian friends and family who read this. Share the Easter message. It's urgent, and it is a matter of life and death. Identify your one person and tell them about the saving hope and new life that we find in Jesus Christ. The means will look different for all of you, but the message will remain the same.

And when you share the Easter message, remember that it may be your task, but it is also your treasure. The Easter message is yours. Savor it. Remember it. Thank God for it. Remind yourself of it. And share it.

Party Like It's Maundy Thursday

Hello, friends! It's Maundy Thursday, and I'm sitting down to write this after my first ever Seder Meal. It was quite the experience! If you've never been to a Seder Meal, allow me to explain by way of tonight's booklet.

"The word Seder is Hebrew for 'set order' or 'service.' The festival of Passover is celebrated according to a set order, a sort of liturgy. The Seder in this booklet is designed specifically for Christians to recall the Passover event recorded in the Old Testament."

As Team Passover -- Matt, Keriann and I --  was helping set up for the meal tonight, we would often look at each other and shrug, because we didn't have any idea what the items we were putting out represented. Luckily, the booklet (and Pastor Jay) explained that as well.

Our place settings included parsley, which represents the coinciding of Passover with the arrival of spring and the renewal of God's bounty in nature; horseradish, a bitter herb that represents the bitterness of slavery that Israel endured in Egypt; charoseth, a mixture of apple and nuts, that represents the mortar the Israelites used to make bricks in Egypt; salt water, which represents the tears shed in slavery and in the pains of life; lamb, which reminds us of the Paschal Lamb; and finally, roasted egg, which represents the offerings brought during the Passover celebration and the new life that follows.

(There was also, of course, wine. Lots of wine.)

The Seder Meal was great fun, with lots of laughter and a good amount of serious moments. Some highlights included Emma Kate's disgusted face when she ate the parsley dipped in salt water, Caroline telling Larry to go crazy with the wine, and Sarah and Keriann diving for the hidden piece of matzah.

This Holy Week, we're focusing on Psalm 118. There's a particular verse that stuck out to me tonight during the Seder Meal: "The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." That meant something very specific to the Israelites. That was their song of joy after they escaped through the Red Sea. This was fresh in their minds, and not long after this, the Passover was instituted as a remembrance of how God saved them from Egypt. Now, we look back and remember how Jesus saved us from our sins. Truly, Jesus is our strength and our song! He has become our salvation!

That's all for me tonight. Now, I need to go clean my apartment thoroughly, because my roommate Lindsey is coming tomorrow to spend Easter with me! I can't wait to see her and celebrate our risen Lord together. I hope you all have a good rest of your Holy Week!