Playlist Prompt #30: "Into the Unknown"

Hello, friends! My final prompt for November, the month of extremely random songs, is courtesy of Kelsey. It's the song all of you had in your heads when Frozen 2 came out: "Into the Unknown."

During this scene in the movie, Queen Elsa is trying desperately to resist the temptation to go on a new adventure. She tells the voice she keeps hearing, "I've had my adventure, I don't need something new. I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you into the unknown."

Later, as she's warming to the idea of following the voice, she says, "Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow. Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go into the unknown?"

I actually had "The Unknown" as a writing prompt back in June, and back then, here's what I wrote:

"I used to be okay with the unknown. [Moving to Oklahoma] backfired, and I found myself longing for the "known." I wanted my old friends, my old home, my old life. ... I don't know that I'll ever venture into that dramatic of an "unknown" again."

In June, whenever I thought about the future, I felt sad. I couldn't imagine being happy doing anything other than being a DCE. I told everyone who asked that my skills fit that career so perfectly, they couldn't possibly match up with anything else. I was like Elsa in Frozen 2 saying that I've had my adventure, and it was plenty, and I didn't need anything else, ever.

Now?

I don't want to reveal too much yet, because there are a lot of, well, unknowns. But for the first time since I left Oklahoma, I feel that longing again. The longing for something new, something unfamiliar, something that feels like me. Something that I can see myself doing without feeling sad for what I've lost. It's a liberating feeling. 

More details to come, I hope!

In the meantime... I won't be writing every day in December, because that's a lot. But if anyone has any bright Christmas-related writing prompt ideas, please share! Thanks for following along with me this month! And a special thanks to Lindsey, Melissa, Rachel, Kelsey, and Zach for providing me with songs to write about - it was a lot of fun! 

Thor and the Question of Worthiness

Hello, friends!

I know, I know: I'm a little late to the party. But bear with me. I recently watched Avengers: Endgame, and holy cow, it was awesome and I need to talk about it. I knew a ton of spoilers going in (including the two major deaths) and I still found myself surprised and delighted at every turn. It was so much more fun and meaningful than I expected.

By far, the character that I related to the most was the God of Thunder himself, Thor. On the surface, I have almost nothing in common with Thor. He's a super-powerful, 1,500-year-old alien king and I am... not. But that's the wonderful things about movies. I can look at Thor in Endgame and say, "I know how you feel."

Thor blames himself for all the people murdered by the villainous Thanos. His failure to protect them affects him on a deeply personal level. He gives up hope. He goes from self-confident and strong to fearful, anxious, and shaky. He truly believes that he is no longer worthy of anything.

During the movie, Thor goes back in time and talks to his mother, who has since died. He tells her that he feels like an idiot and a failure. Here is her reply:

"An idiot? No. A failure? Absolutely. Do you know what that makes you? Just like everyone else. Everyone fails at who they're supposed to be, Thor. The measure of a person, of a hero, is how well they succeed at being who they are."

Then comes the part that has replayed in my head over and over. Thor puts out his hand and summons his hammer. He knows that it will only come to him if he is truly worthy of it, and there's no doubt that part of him doesn't know if it will come. When it appears in his hand, he is elated. "I'm still worthy!" he exclaims.

Failure feels very big and scary and insurmountable to us at times. I know I feel unworthy all the time because of what I went through in Oklahoma. I blame myself, rightly or wrongly, and it's difficult to move past it. Sometimes that feeling of unworthiness - I had a calling and I screwed it up and what's even the point of trying anymore - is overwhelming.

But there are a couple of things in that quote from Thor's mother that comfort me.

I am not alone in my failure. I am just like everyone else, going all the way back to Adam and Eve.

I am who I am and the way I am for a reason, and that reason is not to live up to everyone's expectations, including my own.

When Thor summons his hammer and it comes, it proves that he is still worthy despite everything, because his worth was never about his accomplishments or lack thereof. His worth was about who he was. In the same way, my worth is not about my accomplishments. I am not defined by what I do. I am defined by who I am - a child of God, redeemed by Christ's acts and not my own. Nothing I do or fail to do can take that worth away.

I often talk about how what I know in my head is not always how I feel in my heart. I know all of this. It isn't new to me. But I have trouble applying it to myself. When I see storylines like this on screen - look, the big strong hero isn't always big and strong, and that's okay - it helps. So thank you, Avengers: Endgame, for making me feel worthy again.

Marvel Movies and How They Relate to Real Life

Hello, friends! Thanks to my brother Zach for today's prompt. Zach and his family live in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, which was hit with a major storm on Monday. Please keep them in your prayers! If you're interested in donating to disaster relief efforts, click this link: https://www.lcms.org/givenow/disaster

Today's prompt is about Marvel movies, which I've been binging since the start of quarantine. Sometimes it may seem that superhero movies don't have a lot to do with everyday life. After all, there are no superhumans or aliens among us. However, I love a good story, and every story relates to real life in some fashion. That's why I love reading, and why I want to be a fiction writer - because you can learn so much about yourself and the world through a well-told story.

For example: here's a list of some of my favorite Marvel characters. If you're familiar with the Marvel Cinematic Universe at all, you might sense a theme.

Peggy Carter, Nick Fury, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Edwin Jarvis, Jane Foster, Tony Stark, Monica Rambeau, Daniel Sousa, Darcy Lewis, Phil Coulson, Pepper Potts, Maria Hill... 

I could go on, but here's the point: none of those characters have superpowers. They're just regular human beings. But without them, the MCU would be completely different. They are significant. They matter. Their talents and abilities and hard work and sacrifices change and sometimes even save the world.

Marvel teaches us that you don't need superpowers to make a difference. And isn't that a great thing to understand in the real world? We all have value. We are all able to help. When we focus on what we can do - no matter how small that might seem - rather than what we can't do, we can truly change the world.

What I'm Looking For in a Man

Hello, friends.

I haven't tried any dating sites or apps lately, but when I did, I was always tripped up by the questions about what I'm looking for in a guy. I always listed things like kindness and faith and a good sense of humor, but in my head, here's what I'd like my significant other to be like:

• Gentle like Newt Scamander
• Smart like Cisco Ramon
• Fearless like Eliot Spencer
• Creative like Flynn Carsen
• Adventurous like Hiccup
• Selfless like Steve Trevor

I could go on, but I think we can glean two things from this. One, all of these people are, well, at least moderately fictional. Two, apparently I mostly like guys with long and/or casually messy hair? Take note, boys.

I want my love to be magical, you know? I want to have an epic arc that ends in an exhilarating kiss in the rain. But the fact is that those arcs are fictional, just like all of my ideal men are. None of my friends or family have met their significant others that way. I don't know anyone who regularly fights bad guys with their spouse (which possibly means your secret identities are working exceptionally well). Point is, what I'm looking for, I'm unlikely to ever find.

I want to ask, how have you married or engaged or dating people done it? How have you managed this seemingly impossible feat? But the fact is that everyone is different. There's no secret ingredient. There's no special formula. There are no perfect relationships.

So what do I do now? 

I wait.

I live my life - I don't put it on hold until I find someone.

I be my best self. 

My life is not defined by my relationship status, but that doesn't mean I can't think about it and desire a mate. I'm allowed to fantasize, as ridiculous as my fantasies might be. (My future husband will be a bow-and-arrow-wielding billionaire with amazing hair and doey eyes when he looks at me...) Ahem. What was I saying? Oh, yes. Ridiculous fantasies.

My life is not defined by my relationship status - but it is affected by it. My task right now is to live in hope, focus on the present, and remember that even when it feels like it, I am never really alone.

Addendum to Learning through "Beauty and the Beast"

Hello, friends.

Near the end of my time in Tallahassee, Pastor Jay had me come up with a personal meaning statement. It is (drum roll please) "helping others find their place in God's story."

This statement has many facets to it, but the one I want to focus on tonight is the word "story." I believe two things: first, everyone has a story, and second, everyone is part of a bigger story - God's story.

Everyone has a story. As a DCE, I hear people's stories all the time. It is both the best and the worst part of my job. I hear all the happy things (I got a job; I'm dating someone) and all the sad things (My parents are divorcing; I'm depressed). No matter what your story is, part of my calling as a DCE is to respect and love you enough to listen to it.

Everyone is part of a bigger story - God's story. Yes, I hear the sad things. My story has sad things in it, too, and as a foster parent, I'm learning about the sad things more and more. But our stories, the happy and the sad, fit into the greater plan of God. I am able to look back at my life and say, "That's why God had me go through that - so I would be helpful to this person here today." Knowing that God is in control gives me a new perspective.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this tonight. I'm still thinking about the controversy surrounding the new "Beauty and the Beast." Maybe I'm biased because I've been excited about this movie for so long, but here's what I think: if I am truly called to help others find their place in God's story, I have to be willing to listen to theirs. If I reject the opportunity to listen and learn, how am I supposed to do that?

One of my favorite Bible stories is found in Matthew chapter 9. It reads,

As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, 'Follow me.' And he rose and followed him.

And as Jesus reclined at table in his house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" But when he heard it, he said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.' For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.

I don't expect people who aren't Christians to act Christian. I do expect them to want to be heard, and I intend to listen to and learn from them, just as Jesus did. I'm not saying that I agree with them. I'm not saying that I'm going to change my opinions and beliefs for them. I am saying that I believe they have a story, just as all of us do, and I want to hear it. Yes, for me, part of that comes through watching movies like "Beauty and the Beast" and tv shows like "Supergirl" with values that I don't necessarily align myself with.

I don't expect the entertainment industry to act Christian. I expect them to tell the stories that matter to them. And if my goal is truly to help them find their place in God's story, I have to listen to their stories, first.

Learning through "Beauty and the Beast"

Hello, friends. If there are any spelling errors in this blog, please excuse them. Someone insisted on playing fetch while I was writing.

The news came out recently that there will be an openly gay character in the new live-action "Beauty and the Beast." I know that there are many people outraged by this. They don't want to watch a movie with a gay character. They don't want their kids to be influenced by a gay character. And believe me, I get that.

I also get that the movie industry is not a Christian conservative one, and I don't expect them to echo my Christian conservative views. In fact, I expect the complete opposite - and I find that to be useful. On a day-to-day basis, I mostly interact with people who share my values. Watching movies and TV shows where the characters don't share my values gives me opportunities for learning and growth that I don't get elsewhere.

So I probably will go see "Beauty and the Beast." Will the part with the openly gay character be my favorite? No, it won't - but it will be the most educational.

Thoughts from Captain Jack

Happy New Year's Eve, friends! As you're out celebrating and I'm at home in my pajamas, let's reflect together on these words. This quote is from one of my favorite movies, Pirates of the Caribbean. Gibbs says to Captain Jack, "Take what you can." Captain Jack replies, "Give nothing back."

That's our attitude in much of life, isn't it? Most of us are not pirates sailing the seven seas, but we are pirates right where we are. We ignore the plights of others, choosing instead to focus on our own wants and desires. For example, we buy new pairs of mittens for ourselves, despite the fact that the mittens we already have are just fine, and we conveniently don't see the homeless man on the side of the snowy street whose hands are frozen.

Now, I'm not trying to get into a debate about how to best help the homeless. What I am trying to point out is that we are a selfish people. We are no better than Gibbs and Captain Jack.

Here's what I propose: that we see ourselves in others and do for them what we would have them do for us. This will be different for each of us. Some of us have been blessed financially and can give to various organizations. Some of us have been blessed with talents that can be beneficial to others. Some of us have been blessed with time to use serving others. Whatever it may be, let's change the quote - give what you can, and take nothing back. After all, that's what Jesus did for us. It's what he calls us to do as his people. Let's do it!

Inspiration

Hello, friends! My last few blog posts have been more on the serious side, so today I decided to have some fun and talk about some of my favorite things: TV shows, movies, and books. More specifically, I want to talk about the characters that I find most inspiring in those three mediums.

After you read through my picks, I want to hear yours! Comment here or on Facebook and let me know the television, movie, and book characters you find most inspiring.

Television:

The character I find most inspiring on television comes from the short-lived show called "Forever." Detective Jo Martinez inspires me because she is so real. She has no mysterious past to uncover, a la Kate Beckett, Ziva David, and Emma Swan (from "Castle," "NCIS," and "Once Upon a Time," respectively). Instead, she is a normal person, affected by a normal, everyday tragedy. She is driven by the desire to make the world a better place, even as she discovers what "better" means for herself. She honestly cares for people and often puts them above herself, but she can't always do that, and she knows that it's okay to put herself first sometimes. It's hard to put into words, exactly, but Detective Jo Martinez struck a chord in me that doesn't get played very often.

Movie:

My most inspirational movie character can be found in the "How to Train Your Dragon" franchise. Nowhere else will you find a character named Hiccup! Hiccup inspires me because he changes. He starts out the first movie as a rebellious, snarky, friendless kid who can't do anything right. By the end of the second movie, he's a thoughtful, kind, fearless, and strong leader. (The snarkiness hasn't gone anywhere, but that's okay.) In addition, Hiccup changes not only himself, but others. His growth inspires others to grow. That's the kind of leader I want to be, which is why Hiccup inspires me.

Book:
Finally, books. As you can guess if you know me at all, this was the most difficult choice. Therefore I've chosen two characters. (I know, I'm disobeying my own rules... but I just had to. Also, they're my rules, I can break them if I want to.)


The first character I picked is Keladry of Mindelan, from the "Protector of the Small" series by Tamora Pierce. The series title really says it all: Keladry is the protector of the small. She sees value and worth in everyone, from sparrows to refugees, and she goes out of her way to look out for them.


The second character is Neville Longbottom from the "Harry Potter" series by J. K. Rowling. The odds were stacked against Neville from the start. He had to fight for every inch of growth and success. But he never gave up, and eventually, he became a hero.

There you have it, the characters that inspire me most. What about you?