Learning from My Students

Hello, friends. I'm killing a bit of time before my weekly mentoring conversation with Pastor Jay, and I'm thinking about something he says occasionally: sometimes, the things we discuss for my benefit end up benefiting him as well.

I experienced the other side of that yesterday during Midweek school. One of my high school students is our first and second grade Midweek teacher. Yesterday, she taught her kids the difference between "porcupine words" and "puppy words." (Originally the book suggested the term "teddy bear words," but evidently she likes puppies better than teddy bears.) You can probably guess the difference: porcupine words are intended to hurt people and tear them down, while puppy words are intended to help people and build them up.

When I asked her how her class went, she said that the lesson went more quickly than she was expecting, so she had to improvise. She did this by asking her kids to think about someone at school that they don't like, and describe that person using puppy words instead of porcupine words. This proved to be pretty hard for them, so she used herself as an example and described someone she doesn't like using only puppy words.

Not only was I impressed with her on-the- fly idea, I was also convicted by her example, because that's not only hard for first and second graders - it's hard for me, too. It's no secret that there are people at church that I don't like. That's a fact of life at any congregation or workplace. So often, I find myself only thinking of those people in "porcupine words," and I find it nearly impossible to find anything good about them because I'm just so frustrated. But that's not what the Bible teaches, and that's not what the Catechism explains.

The Eighth Commandment:
"You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor."

What does this mean?
"We should fear and love God so that we do not tell lies about our neighbor, betray him, slander him, or hurt his reputation, but defend him, speak well of him, and explain everything in the kindest way."

Here's to a renewed understanding of the Eighth Commandment, taught to me by someone I'm supposed to be teaching. These kind of moments remind me why I love my job so much.

Gathering Memories

Hello, friends! After sleeping from about 10 AM to 4 PM today, I am awake and somewhat recovered from the National Youth Gathering. I always like to write about my trips right after I return from them, so here you go - my favorite 2016 Gathering memories!

• Rediscovering New Orleans through the eyes of my teenagers - for example, riding the streetcar and hearing them talk about the beads stuck everywhere you look
• Getting caught in a rainstorm at the Audubon Zoo and laughing about how soaked we were
• Finding all of the elephant statues at the zoo (there were a lot for some reason)
• Introducing my group to beignets at Cafe du Monde
• My teenagers buying masks in the French Quarter
• Learning about a soldier named "Barney Old Coyote" at the WWII Museum
• One of my teenagers being so excited about the WWII Museum that we could have left him there the entire trip and he would have been perfectly happy
• Eating king cake at Mardi Gras World (one of our teenagers owes us a party)
• Going to Walgreens - you know you're becoming closer with your group of teenagers when they talk about feminine products with you :P
• Carrying seven backpacks back to my hotel like a boss
• Attempting to run over and hug Melissa while carrying seven backpacks
• One of my teenagers using physics to explain why a grandfather clock wasn't working at the Old Ursuline Convent
• Inventing a game called "Emergency Situation" with my teenagers
• Mass Events!!!! Singing, dancing, learning, laughing, and being inspired in Christ alone
• My adult leader guiding us through the crowd of 25,000 by holding up a duct taped silver, pink, and green sword (he became known as the "saber guy")
• (According to my teenagers) jumping 3 feet in the air and tackling Pastor Jay
• My teenagers taking lots of notes during Bible studies
• Seeing Young Adult Volunteers and having one of my teenagers high-five all of them
• Attending Pastor Jay's "Relax and be a Christian" session and feeling very relaxed afterwards
• My teenagers asking PJ if they could build a bonfire
• Melissa playing the "Emergency Situation" game with my teenagers
• My teenagers helping package food (total, the Gathering packed over 600,000 meals)
• All of my friends that I found at the Gathering: Jessica, Nicole, Keriann, Noelle, Bethany, Dr. Oberdeck, Stephanie, and probably lots of people I'm forgetting
• Talking to President Ferry from CUW
• Meeting a youth leader from Hungary 
• Watching the Skit Guys and learning what Goliath's wife would have sounded like
• Attending a fantastic "Tough Talks" session and learning how to apply coaching skills to youth ministry
• The final worship service - taking communion with 25,000 other people
• One of my youth, who is not confirmed yet, taking communion for the first time and making the most priceless face at the taste
• Receiving a pretty stellar Gathering banner
• Going to Hot Topic with some of my teenagers :P
• My teenagers explaining what they think New Orleans needs the most (help for the homeless and strong leadership)
• Reading Princess Bride on my Kindle on the bus
• Finally getting home and hugging all of my teenagers farewell
• Lastly... sleeping :P

So much happened, and no blog post could ever cover it all. But reliving the memories makes me smile and laugh and cry all at once. I learned so much about myself, my teenagers, and leadership. This experience was fantastic. I can't wait for Minneapolis in 2019!!

The "Why" of the National Youth Gathering

Hello, friends. I'm spending my day doing last-minute packing and cleaning and errands, so naturally, I'm procrastinating by writing a blog post. Don't act like you're surprised!

When you attend the National Youth Gathering, whether as a youth, a Young Adult Volunteer, a Community Life Builder, an adult chaperone, a Gathering planner, a member of a band, an exhibitor, a speaker, or anything else I've missed, you bring a lot of things back with you. You bring back memories - some good, some bad, some thought-provoking, some silly. You bring back a fancy new backpack and Bible. You bring back a lot of other stuff from booths and sessions and sightseeing. You bring back new friends and renewed friendships. You bring back a sense of purpose, given to you by God at the Gathering. You never return the same way you came.

But I'm not coming back yet. I'm going. So my question for myself today is, what am I taking with me to the National Youth Gathering?

There's the obvious, of course. I'm taking a duffel bag full of clothes and toiletries. I'm taking an old Concordia Wisconsin cross country backpack full of medical forms and tour reservations and first aid supplies and snacks. I'm taking a blanket and a pillow. I'm taking chargers for my phone and Kindle.

Then there's the less obvious. Those of you who have worked with me in the past know I like to ask the question "Why?" I want to know the goal. I want to have a reason for doing what we're doing. That reason can never be "because we've always done it that way."

So what goal, what reason, am I taking with me to the Gathering? What is the "Why?"

The "why" I take with me today is the same "why" that I have every time I plan a youth group event at home. Whether we're gathered in a group of four or twenty thousand, the "why" is the same: to grow in faith in God, in fellowship with one another, and in fervor towards the Great Commission. That's what I take with me. It's important for me to recognize this today, or it will get lost amid the travel details and heat and humidity and exhaustion and excitement and reunions and crowds. I take this with me, as I take it with me everywhere.

As I return to packing and cleaning and errands, pray that I keep my youth safe on this trip and help them to recognize the "Why."

Point Guards and DCEs

Hello, friends! I'm writing to you today while listening to the Drake-Sacred Heart women's basketball game. I've listened to or watched quite a few games this season, and there are a couple of names that come up very frequently. The first is Lizzy Wendell, the top scorer for Drake and the Missouri Valley conference overall. The second is a more interesting study - Caitlin Ingle, not top in points but in assists.

For those of you not versed in basketball terminology, an assist is attributed to a player who passes the ball to a teammate in a way that leads to a basket. Most players with many assists are point guards like Ingle, as their role is primarily that of passer and ballhandler. Ingle is particularly talented at reading the court. She always knows where everyone is on the floor, teammates and opponents alike. She knows what her teammates are capable of, and she uses all of this knowledge to pass the ball at crucial moments and lead her team to victory.

I think Caitlin Ingle is a good example of what I strive to be in my work as a DCE. I'm not out to score the most points, so to speak. It's not my job to succeed myself, it's my job to lead others to success. If I can put on an event or activity by myself, that's fine and good. But if I can get to know people well enough to help them take on leadership roles that fit their skills, if I can get my church members to a point where they're putting on events and activities with minimal help from me, that's far better. I want to be known for assists, not points.

The Drake women's basketball players were my idols as a kid. It was my dream to play on that team. Now I find my inspiration from them in different ways. Thanks, Drake, for always providing me with opportunities for dreaming and growth - and goooooo, Bulldogs!

We All Have a Voice

Hello, friends! Wow, it's my first blog of 2016. When I started this back in 2014 I never imagined I would have this much fun blogging. That shows what I know!

Anyway, I just finished watching the clip of Ellen DeGeneres winning the Humanitarian Award at the People's Choice Awards. She's a truly inspirational person - someone who firmly believes in one ideal (be kind to one another) and embodies it in every aspect of her life. Obviously, there are many points where I disagree with Ellen, but no one can deny that she is incredibly kind. She uses her talk show, her wealth, and her sense of humor to spread kindness around the world.

Sometimes I look at the problems in our world and wonder, what can I do? How can I help the homeless people in Enid or Syrian refugees overseas or bullied kids in our schools or people in abusive relationships? What can I do? I'm just one person. I don't have the influence that someone like Ellen does, and even she hasn't been able to solve these problems.

I don't think anyone reading this has quite as global of a voice as Ellen does. (If you do, please let me know, because apparently you're famous and I didn't know it.) But the fact is, we all have a voice. We all have a chance at influencing the people around us. If we as Christians truly embody our ideals of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control - if we make them a vital part of our identities and use what we have been given to spread them to those around us - then we can change the world. While I was in Florida, my mantra was "every person matters." This applies here. We can't change the world all in one fell swoop. But if we manage to influence one person, who influences one person, who influences one person, then the world will change gradually.

I'm a Director of Christian Education. My goal is to influence the people of Redeemer Lutheran Church with those ideals, the fruits of the Spirit. I almost wrote "I want to influence everyone I work with," but then I realized that even that is too big of a scope. I am one person. I can't do that. But I can influence the teenagers in my youth group. I can influence the leaders who work with me directly. I can influence the parents in my congregation. By narrowing my vision, my goals become clearer. I'm able to recognize my limitations and emphasize my strengths.

Let me give you an example. I was bullied as a kid in middle school, so bullied kids are a particular source of passion for me. I have one in my confirmation class. She's one of those awkward preteens who attracts a lot of teasing, just like I was. So as I was planning for my junior high youth group, I decided to focus on friendship this semester. I probably won't ever address the problem directly. This is something that I can't fix directly, just like my teachers couldn't. But I can influence it. I can point out the principles of friendship, the problem of excluding others, and biblical examples of good friends. Through this message, repeated over and over again throughout the semester, I'm hoping that I can show the bullies what they're doing wrong, and the bullied what she is truly worth to me and to God.

That's my example. What's yours? How are you influencing those around you?

Season of Love

Hello, friends. Have you ever noticed that you go through seasons in your life? For example, I went through a season in which running was the most important thing to me. During high school, cross country and track pretty much were my life. Then, in college, I went through a season in which the ability to be observant and perceptive became extremely important. In Tallahassee, meeting people was most important. I went out of my way to get to know people who were different from me.

I am currently in a season, here in Enid, in which loving others is most important. That's not to say that loving others wasn't always important to me -- it's simply to say that it is particularly important to me right now. I wrote about love in my last blog post. I've been talking about love in almost all of my children's messages to date. I emphasized love at our Friendsgiving youth event. Yesterday, I was at OK'D in Christ, the Oklahoma district high school youth gathering. I led a breakout session entitled, "How can you be a force for change at school?" Who wants to guess what I talked about?

When you're going to the Bible to research love, 1 Corinthians 13 might come to mind. However, I went to several passages from the book of John and the book of 1 John. Love is a topic that the apostle John is particularly fond of. He refers to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved" in his Gospel, and he mentions variations of the word "love" 60 times in that book. Love is mentioned 35 times in 1 John, which has a whopping total of 5 chapters. Obviously, John has a lot to say about love.

I pointed out to the high schoolers in my session that Jesus loved us in very tangible ways. He sacrificed everything for us, not only through dying on the cross, but by becoming human and coming to earth in the first place. He ignored his own well-being in order to concentrate on ours. He also trusted his Father to take care of us. Instead of worrying about himself, he put everything in his Father's hands, focusing on us.

We are called to love in the same way that Jesus loves us. That's what 1 John 3:16 says. "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." Now, we probably won't love in exactly the same way that Jesus did. Very few of us will probably die on a cross. But we are called to sacrifice like Jesus did. We are called to put aside our own well-being to focus on the well-being of others. We are called to trust our Father to take care of us and focus on other people.

After we discussed this in our session, I asked the teenagers to think of scenarios that they encounter in school. Topics ranged from gossip to premarital sex to schoolwork to sports to abortion. I asked them this question: "How can you be a force for change, a force for love, in these situations?" We talked through some potential responses. Each time, I emphasized love in the situation. Sometimes I pressed them to see how a response might be loving to one person, but not to another. I tried to get them to a point where they could see how their responses could be a witness to their faith, not only to their character.

The basis for my talk was John 13:34-35. "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

I would say that we as Christians have been pretty bad at showing love for one another. That's definitely not what Christians are known for today. I'd say it's the opposite: we are known for our hate. We expect all people to fall in line with our principles, whether or not they agree with them, and we can be vicious when they don't. That's something I do not understand. Why do we expect non-Christians to behave in Christian ways when we aren't even behaving in Christian ways? Why do we expect non-Christians to act in love when we don't even act in love?

Keep in mind, I'm being general here. I know many, many Christians who are loving people. But I know that I myself struggle to always act in love. I tend to judge on sight and not on what's inside, just as Samuel did (1 Samuel 16). I tend to put myself above other people while ignoring what I'm doing wrong, which Jesus warned against (Matthew 7). I sin in all sorts of ways. I sit in my DCE study and write about love, despite the fact that I am the least loving person of all. Move aside, Paul. I am the chief of sinners.

Here's what I propose, just as I proposed it to my high schoolers this weekend. First, let's remember how Jesus loved us. We always have to begin there, or nothing we do matters. Let's remember how Jesus loved us so much, so unconditionally, so sacrificially, that he gave up everything he had to save us. And with that love in our hearts and minds and spirits, let's go out into the world and make ourselves known by love, not hate. Let's show our faith by our works (James 2). Let's show the love of Christ through the love of Christians. Let's love others, friends. That's what it's all about. That's what matters. That's what we are called to do.

New Friends

Hello, friends! As it so happens, I had the opportunity to make some new friends this week. Monday afternoon through yesterday afternoon I attended the Youth and Family Ministry Association retreat at Luther Springs camp in Hawthorne, FL. Let me tell you what I learned: youth ministers are crazy.

I did learn more than that, but that was the most amusing revelation of the retreat! By default, youth ministers are certifiably insane (myself included). No one else would willingly go into the profession. We had great fun together as we ate junk food and swapped ministry horror stories. I would tell you some of them, but you might require counseling afterwards and I don't have that kind of money.

In all seriousness, the retreat was a blessing. Our theme was "Detox." We talked about identifying the toxic things in our lives (words, thoughts, relationships, and culture), guarding our hearts against those things, and replacing them with life-giving, life-affirming, and life-changing things. Our small group discussions were wonderful and insightful. We were able to listen to, support and encourage one another in our various struggles. I appreciated the opportunity to learn from youth ministers who have been in the field a bit longer than my 10 months.

The retreat also gave me a new appreciation for prayer. I have, of course, always known that prayer is a powerful thing -- but it's one thing to know that, and another thing to see it in action. Simply the act of one youth minister saying to another, "I'll continue praying for you, and I want to know when your prayer needs change," is life-affirming. It gives validity to a youth minister's needs, which often go overlooked in favor of the needs of the congregation.

On the way back from the retreat, I gave myself a brief driving tour of the University of Florida, just to say I'd been there. If you're worried about me becoming a Gator fan, remember that my boss is a Gator fan, and therefore I must placate him until July (when I can return to not caring).

I've included two pictures for you this week. One is the YFMA crowd during one of our sessions; the other is the best picture I could get at UF without getting out of my car.