"Love Letter"

Hello, friends.

I know, I wrote about songs all last month. But today's a Tuesday that feels like a Friday, and I'm worn out from aide-ing and parenting and life. The song on my mind is just too perfect for tonight.

My favorite artist, Malinda, released her first album in 2018. It was named after its title track, "Love Letter." When I did a virtual meet-and-greet with Malinda a few months ago, I was able to tell her exactly why this song means so much to me.

The first line has always struck me.

"I write the world a love letter / by rising from my bed"

When I lived in Oklahoma and was going through the most severe forms of my depression, rising from my bed was the first challenge of many that I would face throughout my day. It was not an easy feat. Often, I would get out of bed, get my daughter out of bed, and drive her to school without getting out of my pajamas. Then I would return home and go straight back to bed. I was frequently (read: 2-4 days a week) late for work because the prospect of actually starting my day was so paralyzing.

But I always did it, eventually.

I'm an Enneagram 2. I'm a helper. I want nothing more than to make the world a better place. Even now, I've got big dreams. It is difficult for me to handle days where the best I can do is get out of bed. But sometimes, that's all I can do, and that's okay. 

I choose not to give up. On the contrary, I choose to get up. 

That's my love letter to the world.

The Things You Do for Friends

Hello, friends! I enjoyed following along with Tanner Olsen's writing prompts so much that I asked for some from you guys. And you delivered! Today's prompt is "the things you do for friends," thanks, LeeAnna! :)

I brag on my friends a lot on my blog, and they deserve it. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through the past few years without them. But one thing I don't talk about very often is how much I enjoy being a friend. I'm perfectly happy to brag on my friends. Bragging on myself is weird, and that's what this is going to sound like at first.

I love being a good friend, you guys. I love washing my friends' dishes when they're overflowing. I love watering their flowers when they're gone. I love helping them pack and unpack. I love picking something up for them when they can't. I love making soup for them when they're sick. I do! I just absolutely love doing those things for my friends. It makes my heart so full.

Obviously, I also love being a silly friend. I'll hide sticky notes around your place if left alone for five minutes. I'll send your significant other obnoxious text messages. I'll poke your shoulder over and over for an hour. I'll put weird events in your phone calendar. I'll tell you terrible puns every day for the rest of your life.

I love joking around and being ridiculous, but here's the thing: I know how much of a difference even the tiniest of kind gestures can make. If I can make that kind of difference, I'm going to, especially for my friends.

I couldn't be that kind of good friend for four years, because I didn't have many friends in Oklahoma. It felt like I took and took and never had the opportunity to give. I was a single mother without any family close by, so of course I had to ask for help a lot, but I was never asked to reciprocate. I didn't realize how much I missed that opportunity until I moved back to Wisconsin.

Back to the prompt: "the things you do for friends." Those things look different for everyone, don't they? I've explained my things, but those things might not be your things, and that is perfectly okay. Wonderful, even! I'm reminded of the love languages - words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, physical touch. We're all different. We all naturally show our love in different ways.

So find your language, and speak it joyfully. Speak it loudly, or speak it in whispers, but don't let anything silence you. Find the kind of love that fills your heart while it fills the hearts of others. Be the person God made you to be - loving in your own way.

Solving the Problems of Humanity

Hello, friends.

If I lived in an alternate universe in which I had unlimited time and resources, I would have a very large house in which all foster children, homeless people, survivors of abuse, refugees, and stray animals would be welcome, healthy, happy, and safe.

Unfortunately, I live in the real world, and solving the problems of humanity is not that simple.

I hear about the situation at the border, where a heartless policy rips children away from their parents, and all I want to do is fix it. I want to storm that old Wal-Mart full of innocent girls and boys and reunite them with their families. But I can't. I don't have the power to make all of those poor children's problems go away.

Occasionally, my caseworker asks if I can take another child. I hate saying no, because I know the ratio of foster children to available foster homes (it's not good) and I know the amount of difference a home instead of a shelter can make (it's a lot). But I have to say no. One child is almost too much for me sometimes, and logistically, it's just not possible for me to take in another one. I say no, but mentally, I'm always calculating what it would take to get to the point of saying yes. Because if I can help, I should be. That's the way my parents raised me. You don't stand by and watch as someone else suffers. You help them. That's just what you do.

So as I look at the situation at the border, I know that I can't actually storm that Wal-Mart and help all those kids. But I know that, just like I'm able to make a difference in the life of one foster child, I can make a difference in maybe the life of one of those kids. Or two. Or three.

This article provides a lot of good information. I recommend you check it out. It's easy to look at a big problem like this and say, "That's too big for me. I can't possibly fix this." And you'd be right in saying that. You, alone, as one person, you can't fix this. But we, together, we can fix this.

"The King will say to those on his right,  'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'

Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?'

And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these brothers, you did it to me.'" (Matthew 25:34-40)

Lessons from Lizzie McGuire

Hello, friends.

"No one person can save the whole world." That's a familiar phrase from my blog, but I want to share with you where I first learned it. It's not where you might think.

When I was younger, I was a big Disney Channel girl. One of my favorite shows was Lizzie McGuire. I vividly remember an episode in which Lizzie and her friend ran a successful food drive at their school. Because of their success, Lizzie became obsessed with volunteering and other noble pursuits - she started forcefully collecting items for the homeless shelter and sorting out trash and recycling at home, and she even became a vegetarian. She yelled at her mother for leaving the water running, her friends for making paper airplanes, and her teacher for not printing a pop quiz double-sided.

Lizzie's parents sat her down to talk about her behavior. They pointed out that she was taking on too much and running herself into the ground - she couldn't save the world by herself. If she really wanted to make a difference, they said, what she needed to do was pick one thing and go for it. Her heart was in the right place, but she needed to calm down and allow herself to rest.

Lizzie tried to do too much. She wanted to support the food pantry and homeless shelter. She wanted to recycle more and help animals and save the earth's resources. None of those things were bad, but she was only one person, and she couldn't do all of those things at once.

When I was in college, boy, did I make a Lizzie mistake. I tried to be a key leader in Students for Life, Puppet Ministry, and Small Groups all at once while still participating in other activities and taking a full course load. Everything suffered for lack of time and energy until I realized that I had tried to do too much. All of the things I was doing were good things, but I was only one person, and I just couldn't do all of them at once. I had to give some of them up in order to give my best effort.

It's easy to fall into that trap. We can become "yes-people," always agreeing to do anything that sounds good. That is a mistake. It's better to do one or two things, and do them very well, than to do five or six things poorly. It doesn't matter if all five or six things are good and important if you can't do them well.

Right now, in my life, I've picked my things. I'm a foster mother. I adopted a dog from a rescue. I donate money to my friends who are missionaries overseas. And when an important cause comes up, such as the recent tragedy in Manchester, I give a one-time donation. I can't afford to give my money to every charity, although there are many charities that I believe in. If I did give my money and my time and my energy to every worthy cause, I'd be broke and exhausted and unable to help any new causes in the future. I have to pick and choose. That's the choice that I have, and it's a good one. By picking my things, I'm able to help more people in the long run.

I can't save the whole world. But I can make a difference, one person and one cause at a time. And so can you.

The Little Boy and the Starfish

Hello, friends.

We live in a scary world. Every day we hear about new tragedies, here in the US and around the world. Just last week here in Enid a newborn baby was found dead in a dumpster. It's still unclear how the poor child ended up there.

I often find myself feeling overwhelmed. There is so much wrong in the world. How can we have hope?

Have you ever heard the story of the little boy and the starfish? It goes something like this:

A man was walking along the seashore. Hundreds of starfish had been washed up on the sand. As he walked, the man saw a little boy picking up the starfish one by one and throwing them back into the ocean. 

Walking up to the boy, the man asked, "Why are you throwing them back? Look at how many there are. It won't make any difference."

The little boy thought for a moment, then shrugged and threw another starfish into the ocean. "It made a difference to that one," he replied.

We can't solve all of the world's problems, but that doesn't mean we can't make a difference. I don't know how that poor baby ended up in a dumpster last week, but can you imagine the difference just one person could have made?

The story of the little boy and the starfish is one that foster parents often refer to; there are so many foster children, and we can't possibly help them all - but that doesn't mean we shouldn't help the ones we can.

However, this story isn't just meaningful to foster parents. I challenge you, as we enter the Easter season, to look for the people you can help. You can make a difference. Don't lose hope.

Happy June!

Hello, friends! Happy June! The time of year has been on my mind a lot lately, because now that it's June, I officially have less than a month left of my time in Florida. Gah! Where has the year gone? My fun stuff in Florida bucket list is still mostly un-checked-off, but work-wise I feel like I'm at a good place. This week in particular has been interesting.

Last Friday PJ gave me the daunting task of creating the curriculum for Vespers next year. In his words, this is a way I can "leave my legacy" on University Lutheran. I've been enjoying this far more than is probably healthy. First, I reviewed what we did this year. Then I set the major goal for next year's curriculum. Then I divided it into goals for first and second semester. Then I divided the semesters into units, and the units into weeks... And now I'm almost finished writing an outline for each week. It's fun! I like having the opportunity to do something as  overarching as this.

Last night, we played host to a bunch of 7th graders from Stuart, Florida. They were on their class trip to the Capitol and came to us to learn what college is like. We fed them spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread, and Publix cookies, and then talked about their impressions of college and how Jesus can fit into their life during college. I enjoyed the conversations we were able to have (and I was reassured that a year of college students hasn't made me forget how to deal with middle schoolers). The highlight of the night for PJ was learning that someone who came to this night 5 years ago is coming to FSU because of it. Again, in his words, his "heart just swelled." You don't often get to see the results when you plant seeds, so this was incredibly special for him.

Per the usual for summer, we handed out magnets on Tuesday and Thursday. Tabling was... well, tabling. PJ is leaving me all alone next week, so I'm glad that some of the church members have decided to help us! Anesu came out on Tuesday, and Julie was there today.

This afternoon I went out to the Frenchtown garden. We weeded around the watermelon plants, picked tomatoes, cucumbers, and green beans, and played limbo with the water hose. Elm came today, which was great! We had some really good conversations in the van on our way to and from the garden. One of the facilitators, Maddie, is a religion major. She's excellent at coming up with in-depth questions to get us talking.

Then, this evening, Sarah and I went out to Food Truck Thursday. I've never seen so many ducklings and goslings in my life. We would be in the middle of a serious conversation, and then a duck would waddle by and do something funny and we would just give up. To round out my blog for the day, here's a picture of some ducks.

Order in the Chaos

Hello, friends! I'm writing to you from my living room couch, and I'm surrounded by a variety of interesting objects: a hammer, my Bible, my work notebook, some white ribbon, a pincushion, my favorite baseball cap, a synopsis of the Gospels, an iron, a hot glue gun, a list of all the LCMS churches in Florida, and the back of a picture frame. Let me tell you how all of these things came to be in my living room!

The hammer, ribbon, pincushion, iron, hot glue gun, and back of a picture frame are all ingredients for my long weekend activity: crafting. I made a few items for all of the babies in my life, although from that list of things I bet you'll never guess what I made (and I can't tell you, or it would spoil the surprise for the babies). I also made a craft apron for myself, because when I start making crafts, cleanliness is not my priority. I bet you couldn't tell that from my description of my living room!

My Bible and my work notebook are normally seen together. As usual, this week I wrote four devotions. My favorite one was probably the devotion for Tuesday. It involved the Ezekiel story about prophesying to dry bones. When I searched for a picture of dry bones, it came up with this:

Naturally, I thought this was hilarious and used it as the illustration.

My favorite baseball cap, which is a Harry Potter cap from Universal, is in my living room for two reasons. One, I wear it during our delightful hours spent in the Union handing out football magnets. Two, I wear it when I go to the Frenchtown community garden. Today the five of us (Maddie, Burgen, Megan, Mark and I) weeded one of the beds. With all of us working, we were able to clean it out pretty much completely. We also hunted down caterpillars in the tomato plants and ate some cucumbers and green beans. I brought back a small pile of green beans for myself.

The highlight, however, was watching the kids play a game of basketball and several of the girls perform a steps routine during their halftime.

The synopsis of the Gospels is the topic for this summer's Bible study, which I get to help teach. I led our discussion for the first time this Sunday, and I think it went pretty well! Luke 1 and 2 were on the agenda. We tend to overlook those passages because we hear them so much, but it was nice to take the time and examine them more closely.

And lastly, the list of all the LCMS churches in Florida. Tomorrow, I get to (read: have to) continue to work my way down the list, calling churches to ask if they have students heading to college in the fall. Last Friday, I knocked out 48 churches. Hopefully I get through at least that many again tomorrow. 

There you are, a sum-up of my week based on my messy living room. Until next week, farewell! 

Roasted

Hello, friends! I hope you are all enjoying your week. Mine has been pretty fun. I met with a couple of people, planted tomatoes at Lichgate garden, went out to Madison Social and played Disney trivia with Rina, and attended our last session of Vespers for the semester -- but the most significant event (based on fun) was Sunday afternoon, when we had our senior roast.

As PJ likes to explain it, the senior roast is when we gather all of our graduating seniors who are leaving us soon and make fun of them enough that they never want to come back. Pastor Jay and I both purchased a number of Dollar Tree items for this event and presented them to the seniors in the most humorous way possible. And Justin was kind enough to have Zoe capture this on video, so I was able to review it before writing this post! Here are a few of my favorite moments.

-Evan got rickrolled, as he has insisted on doing to us for basically forever.
-Edson and Austin received many items they can use in their future careers, such as plastic medical equipment, ninja knives, inflatable hammers, and open/closed signs.
-Justin, our token Presbyterian, received a "YOLO" ring, which in this case means "You're Only Lutheran Once."
-Anna received a cat toy that can double as a conducting baton.
-Caroline is first in many things, including being first to the food line, so she received some first place ribbons to signify this.
-Justin and Anna both received a baby bottle and some blocks because they have baby fever (as evidenced by their extreme interest in Cricket).
-Evan is now an official Pro Usher, with the certificate to prove it.
-I reminisced about Caroline saying "Just go crazy!" to Larry as he was pouring her wine at the Seder meal, and got her six plastic wine glasses to make sure she had enough to go crazy again.

My favorite moment, however, was one that lasted the whole week leading up to the roast. I was telling Anna for several days in a row that she needed to be very worried about what I was going to say about her, to the point that when Sunday arrived, she was terrified... and I purposely left her until the very last minute, just to draw it out as long as possible. I enjoy being cruel far too much.

I wish I could experience many more senior roasts to come -- I may have to incorporate this idea into my future vocation somehow! Before I finish, here's the picture I stole from Justin's video of the roast. There are our graduates, looking very scholarly in their party hats.

The Urgent Easter Message

Hello, friends! I hope you all had exciting Easter celebrations last weekend and that you will continue celebrating Easter all year round. After all, every Sunday is a little Easter!

This evening has been an interesting one for me. It started out at the Frenchtown community garden, where we planted seeds with the kids and had a great time. I returned and left again with Pastor Jay for the Go Week Kick-Off at Moore Auditorium, where we sang and prayed and generally prepared ourselves for Go Week. When it was over, I did as my Mormon missionary friends had requested: I listened to one of their "General Conference" sessions from last weekend. Now, here I am, writing a blog. What should I say about today?

Here's what today (and most days here in Tallahassee) has taught me: our message is urgent. The kids and volunteers at the garden need to hear the Easter message. The freshmen that Go Week seeks to reach need to hear the Easter message. My Mormon missionary friends need to hear the Easter message. Every person in every place needs to hear the Easter message. This isn't something I can put off until tomorrow. Jesus might come back tomorrow. I need to share the Easter message today.

I can't reach everyone, but if we all reach one person, we can reach everyone. This blog is a challenge to all of my Christian friends and family who read this. Share the Easter message. It's urgent, and it is a matter of life and death. Identify your one person and tell them about the saving hope and new life that we find in Jesus Christ. The means will look different for all of you, but the message will remain the same.

And when you share the Easter message, remember that it may be your task, but it is also your treasure. The Easter message is yours. Savor it. Remember it. Thank God for it. Remind yourself of it. And share it.

A Reflection on Volunteering

Hello, friends! It's been quite the week. After returning from Campus Leadership Training over the weekend, I had Monday to recover and then jumped into work feet-first on Tuesday. I didn't notice until Tuesday morning that I'd scheduled meetings/activities for 9, 12, 3:30, 4:45, and 6:30. Sheesh! Wednesday I had 4 meetings/activities, and today was (thankfully) slower. It was good to stay in for awhile!

However, I did do something today that I'd like to share with you. As most of you probably recall, last semester I spent a lot of time volunteering at Second Harvest Food Bank. Second Harvest in Tallahassee has a giant warehouse. Last semester, the entire warehouse was always filled up with food donations. They never lacked for jobs to give their volunteers; they always needed people to sort food or fill backpacks. The sheer amount of food they were able to give away was incredible. I'd never seen the like of it.

Unfortunately, Second Harvest has been experiencing trouble lately. I don't know exactly what happened, but I heard something about a pest infestation and a big problem with mold. When I went to volunteer today (per my friend Rina's suggestion), my first impression of the warehouse was that it was like a ghost town. It was dark and eerily quiet. The dozens of shelves reaching up to the ceiling were... empty.

My job today was to throw away expired/ruined food donations. I only did it for an hour, and I was able to share the task with someone, but it still made my heart heavy. Second Harvest does so much good, and it hurts to see it struggling the way it is at the moment.

Our final AND statement of Lent was this: least AND greatest. Jesus became the least, and through this, he showed that he was the greatest. He told us to do the same: "Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all" (Mark 10:43-44). Our least-ness is our greatness. I was reminded of that today as I was volunteering to do the thankless tasks Second Harvest needed done. No matter what we are asked to do, if it can be beneficial, we should do it. I think this is the essence of volunteering and service. It's never about us. It's always about what is needed for others.

That's all for today. This is Iowa Girl Meets World, signing off.