Playlist Prompt #26: "10,000 Reasons"

Hello, friends! Happy Thanksgiving! Today's prompt, courtesy of Melissa, is the song "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)" by Matt Redman.

This song is based on Psalm 103:1-5. 

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

I like the Lutheran Study Bible note under verses 3-5.

"Psalmist names personal blessings for which he is thankful. Forgiveness tops the list."

How many of us, in listing things we're thankful for every year around this time, put forgiveness at the top of the list? But King David, attributed as the author of this Psalm, considers it most important. David, who rose from a lowly shepherd boy to the ruler of Israel, who has a palace and armies and victories to his name - the first item on his "thankfulness list" is forgiveness. 

The first verse of "10,000 Reasons" goes like this:

"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning / It's time to sing Your song again / Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me / Let me be singing when the evening comes"

If we put forgiveness at the top of our list, then we can put every new day into perspective. We are fortunate to live forgiven. Whatever may pass, whatever lies before us - forgiveness is what matters in the end, as the last verse of "10,000 Reasons" reminds us:

"And on that day when my strength is failing / The end draws near and my time has come / Still, my soul will sing Your praise unending / Ten thousand years and then forevermore"

Let us spend our days remembering God's righteousness, justice, mercy, grace, love, and compassion, and the infinite number of reasons to bless his name. 10,000 doesn't even begin to cover it. 

Playlist Prompt #18: "The Song That Never Ends"

Hello, friends! Today's prompt, courtesy of Melissa because who else, is the song fittingly called "The Song That Never Ends."

Do you ever feel like a broken record, repeating the same old song? Like you're stuck in a pattern and can't escape it? 

I feel that way a lot. And just like the song says,

"Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was / and they'll continue singing it forever, just because"

We never intend to adopt bad habits. We never wake up one morning and think to ourselves, "Today I'm going to start eating junk food all the time," or "Today I'm going to start worrying constantly about unreasonable things." No, bad habits start accidentally, and often with a healthy dose of self-deception. "I'll just do it this once," we say, although if we allowed ourselves to think about it, we would know that whatever "it" is will likely happen again, and again, and again.

The best example of a vicious cycle in the Bible is in the book of Judges. Each section of Judges starts out the same way - the Israelites fall into sin. Then God allows them to be oppressed. Then the Israelites repent. Then God delivers them from oppression. Then they fall into sin again, and the cycle starts anew. 

God is part of that cycle. He is omniscient - he knows that the Israelites will fall into sin again. So why does he keep delivering them, over and over and over? Wouldn't it be easier and more logical to abandon his faithless children?

Sometimes the best news is that God's love defies logic. Just like our fall into sin and our bad habits are endless cycles, so too is God's love for us.

"The steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him." (Psalm 103:17a)

No matter what, day after day, time after time, everlasting to everlasting, God's love will remain. His mercy will never fail. That is the true song that never ends, and it will go on and on, my friends.

Playlist Prompt #12: "Truth Be Told"

Hello, friends! Today's prompt, courtesy of Melissa, is the song "Truth Be Told" by Matthew West.

I wrote last night about how I have to rely on other people to tell me the truth about myself, because my anxiety makes my own thoughts unreliable. The song "Truth Be Told" talks about a different kind of deception. It's about how we rarely tell other people our truths. We hide them behind the phrase "it's fine." We pretend. We even do that with God. We don't want to admit our sins, our failures, our shortcomings to anyone.

That didn't work for Adam in the Garden, and it certainly doesn't work for us. But just like Adam, God doesn't condemn us. He calls out to us and treats us as we don't deserve to be treated. He loves us. He promises us a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not look like we imagined, but it's there all the same. We can trust in the truth that God always works for our good.

Playlist Prompt #11: "Me, Who Am I?"

Hello, friends! Today's prompt, courtesy of me, is the song "Me, Who Am I?" from the Broadway musical "Cinderella."

I ask myself that question a lot. Who am I? The answer is certainly a little different than it was when I started this blog, six years and two hundred posts ago. Back then, I was a recent college grad on my first big adventure. Florida wasn't where I wanted to be, but I was following my ministry dreams where they led me. I knew what I was meant to do. I was shaky sometimes - my anxiety was alive and well - but I was usually able to overcome it.

I feel like six-years-ago me was the bright-eyed bushy-tailed rookie. In contrast, right-now me is the seasoned, disillusioned veteran. I'm where I want to be, but I've seen some things. I don't have the same sunny outlook I once did. My anxiety's through the roof, and I can't control it.

In the song "Me, Who Am I?", Prince Topher has a vastly lower opinion of himself than his knights and subjects do. Here's how he describes himself:

"Me, who am I? A far from perfect guy / a bum who wants to do what's right but often does what's wrong / a kid who's voice is way off key but loves to sing a song / a guy who dreams like a lion but wakes up like a lamb"

Meanwhile, his knights and subjects describe him with these glowing reviews:

"His Royal Highness, Christopher Rupert, slayer of dragons, pitiless to ogres, destroyer of griffins and giants, no friend to gargoyles, nice to the needy, sportsman and poet"

So who is right - Prince Topher, or his knights and subjects?

I have similar questions sometimes. How I describe myself is very different from how other people describe me. My friends call me caring, funny, inspiring. My coworkers call me hardworking, dedicated, a self-starter. Those aren't the words I use to describe myself. Does that mean they're wrong? Who am I, really? Why does it feel like I'm not the same person I was six years ago?

Here's what I know about anxiety: it lies. I can't trust it, and therefore, I can't usually trust my own thoughts about myself. That doesn't mean they're all wrong. It just means that my thoughts - the ones that stem from my anxiety - aren't painting an accurate, full picture of myself.

I can trust my friends. If I couldn't, they wouldn't be my friends, now would they?

I can trust my family. I can trust my coworkers. 

For the most part, when the people in my life tell me something about myself, I can trust that what they say is true.

I can also trust that God's Word is true. Here's just a snippet of what the Bible tells me about who I am:

I was created in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27)

God knew me and chose me before I was even born. (Jeremiah 1:5)

I am one with Christ in my baptism. (Galatians 3:27-29)

I am forgiven of all of my sins. I do not need to be afraid. (Isaiah 43:1)

I was created and saved for specific good works. (Ephesians 2:8-10)

I will have eternal life. (John 3:16)

When I can't trust my own thoughts, I can go to the people I love and trust theirs instead. God, my family, my friends - they will tell me who I am. That hasn't changed in the last six years. 

So who am I?

Here's me, trusting you all out there to tell me, because I need it tonight.

Writing Prompt #5: Grace

Tanner's prompt for today is Grace. I assume he picked it because it's my middle name.

I remember studying grace in Confirmation class. We used this acronym:

God's
Riches
At
Christ's
Expense

As a kid, this seemed so simple. "God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." God loved the sinful, broken world, the world that turned away from him time and time again, the world that deserved nothing but rejection. He loved that world so much that he sent his Son to suffer and die for its salvation. Nothing else mattered.

As an adult, this doesn't feel so simple. I am like the Israelites in the desert - liberated from slavery and complaining about the food. "Salvation is great, God, but what about my career? What about my mental health? What about marriage?" I find myself relating to the Israelites more every day. "What about that food, God? You couldn't expect them to be happy about eating the same thing every day?"

Paul understood the temptation to be bitter and angry. He wrote to the Philippians, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

I want to ask Paul to tell me the secret. I want to be content! I can't even describe how much I want to be content in every circumstance! But he tells us the secret: he did all this through Christ. Jesus, the grace-giver, strengthened his faith and enabled him to face every situation with confidence. God gave Paul the ability to be content. He has also given it to us. We find it in his Word, in meeting with one another (even through technological means), in worship, in praise, in prayer. We don't have to seek out the secret. It's grace. We already have it.

Knowing that we have the power already to be content - let that be a game-changer for us.

Stay tuned for May 16th: Dogs. It's bound to be an interesting ride.

A Sort-Of Psalm

Hello, friends.

I once had an assignment in which I had to write a story of sorts in the style of an Old Testament book. If I'm remembering correctly, I chose Jonah. It was an interesting exercise - using biblical language to describe something in the modern day. Well, today was a rather long and frustrating day for me. When I first day down to write a blog post, I entirely intended to do nothing but complain. But I think it would be helpful for me to write about my day in the style of a book of the Bible again, and once I get to the end, you'll see why. Here goes nothing, kind of in the style of one of the Psalms of lament.

O Lord, today I felt alone,
    exhausted, and betrayed.
I did all that I could do
    and still, it was not enough.
My best of intentions
    amounted to nothing at all.

Those supposed to help
    were absent and unashamed.
When I needed them the most,
    they were elsewhere.
And I wondered, Lord God,
    where were You?

But when I looked around,
    I found You everywhere.
You were there in my daughter;
    You were there in my pastor;
You were in the kindness of friends
    and the sympathy of family.
I did not want to see You,
    But You were still there.

Lord, Forgiver and Redeemer,
    convict me with Your presence
and help me to be the person
    You created me to be.

What Is the Church (Softball Team)

Hello, friends. Tonight, during our first church softball game, the opposing team needed some extra players.  Our team had so many players that I hadn't even put myself on our line-up, so I volunteered myself. This gave me the unique opportunity to watch my team govern themselves.

The other team put me in right field. I was in the perfect position to observe my team's dugout. They were laughing and joking and cheering each other on and helping each other out and I thought to myself, this is the church. This is what I want to see. This beautiful sight reminded me of 1st Thessalonians 5:11 - "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Then it came time for them to go into the field. Despite the clearly-displayed lineup that I had done and redone five times to the best of my ability, people got confused and went to the wrong positions and started yelling at each other and getting frustrated. At first I was discouraged as I watched them from the other dugout, but then I realized: this is the church, too. We're not perfect. We make mistakes. We get angry. We get annoyed. We're just people, after all.

The game went on, and there were ups and downs in both dugouts. But in the end, we all came out as friends, and that's what the church truly is - a place of forgiveness.

Sinners, Saints, and Supergirl

Hello, friends. Disclaimer: This became much more intense and potentially divisive than I originally intended.

I've recently been watching the wonderful show Supergirl. It's deep and meaningful and action-packed and also just plain silly at times. I love the idea that Supergirl (Kara) is an all-powerful alien and also a vulnerable person who sometimes needs to decompress over pot stickers with her human sister. It's actually her sister, Alex, who intrigues me the most on the show.

The sisterly bond between Alex and Kara is a joy to watch. They argue, they banter, they save each other's lives, they eat ice cream on the couch and binge watch tv shows, they do what they think is best for the other person with complete disregard for their own safety... Their relationship is the best part about Supergirl.

Beyond her connection to Kara, Alex is a fascinating individual in her own right. She's a bio-engineer, an expert in hand-to-hand combat, and a sharpshooter. She is courageous, independent, and strong. She dedicates her life both to protecting Kara and to protecting innocents. Everything she does is about helping make the world a better place.

She's also lesbian.

I'm well aware that many evangelical Christians would say that her sexual orientation negates all of her good qualities. That her sins outweigh her good works.

That is true for all of us.

I work for a confessional Lutheran church and I do believe that homosexuality is a sin. I also believe that lust, disrespecting your parents, cheating on homework, and idolizing sports teams and celebrities are sins. There are no perfect people. Romans 3:23 reminds us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." All means all. All means you. All means me.

I struggle with sin. In college, and again in Florida, I struggled with sin so much that I went to a trusted mentor and confessed it with repentance in my heart. And do you know what they told me? They told me that I was forgiven. They reminded me of the next verse in Romans that reads, "and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." I was convinced, and sometimes still am, that my sins were beyond forgiveness. That my sins were too big and too bad for God. But nothing is too big and too bad for God, and I am forgiven and free. I know my mentors well enough to say that if my sin had been homosexuality, and I had come to them and confessed it with repentance in my heart, they would have told me exactly the same thing - that I was forgiven. Because my sins do outweigh my good works. That's why I need Jesus.

Alex is just a character in a tv show, but she is not an unrealistic one. Okay, maybe the part about having Supergirl for a sister is a stretch, but apart from that? She is all of us. She's a sinner in need of a Savior. And if we reject her simply because her sin is homosexuality, then we reject all those like her. We offer hatred rather than compassion, inspire fear instead of trust, and ultimately fail in our call to minister to people who need Jesus in the same way that we do.

So the next time you're watching tv and you discover that one of the characters is gay or lesbian, don't reach for the remote. Instead, take the opportunity to understand.