Hello, friends. Gather around, for it is story time.
Ten years and a few months ago, my brother and I got into a big fight. This came as a surprise to exactly no one who knew us. Zach and I had a love-hate relationship that often leaned heavily towards the hate side. I have no idea what the fight was about, but I do distinctly remember that I was so mad that I decided to count down the days until he was going to move to college. I kept it up for over a hundred days. (I was recently reminded of this because it keeps popping up as a memory on Facebook!)
Fast-forward to this past Monday and Tuesday. My foster daughter and I made the trek to Marion to visit Zach, Lindsey, and Kylen. I emphasized to many people before we left that we were going to see Kylen, and there would probably be other people there, but my adorable two-year-old nephew was the priority. It's true, I did spend a disproportionate amount of time spoiling the little guy, but I also spent a lot of time talking with Zach. This has led me to a shocking conclusion:
I actually like my brother a lot.
There, I said it.
There's something unique about the bond between brother and sister. Like I said earlier, we used to argue constantly, but despite all that, there was never a time that we didn't love each other. I think it's only in the last several years that we've honestly started liking each other. I'm glad for the change, big bro. Thanks for being a role model for me. Thanks for talking through everything from taxes to parenting with me. You're an incredible father and husband and yes, brother - as much as the me of ten years ago would never believe it. Now, instead of counting down the days until you leave, I'm counting down the days until I can see you again.
And Kylen. Because he's cuter than you.
Friday, August 4, 2017
Thursday, July 6, 2017
A Sort-Of Psalm
Hello, friends.
I once had an assignment in which I had to write a story of sorts in the style of an Old Testament book. If I'm remembering correctly, I chose Jonah. It was an interesting exercise - using biblical language to describe something in the modern day. Well, today was a rather long and frustrating day for me. When I first day down to write a blog post, I entirely intended to do nothing but complain. But I think it would be helpful for me to write about my day in the style of a book of the Bible again, and once I get to the end, you'll see why. Here goes nothing, kind of in the style of one of the Psalms of lament.
O Lord, today I felt alone,
exhausted, and betrayed.
I did all that I could do
and still, it was not enough.
My best of intentions
amounted to nothing at all.
Those supposed to help
were absent and unashamed.
When I needed them the most,
they were elsewhere.
And I wondered, Lord God,
where were You?
But when I looked around,
I found You everywhere.
You were there in my daughter;
You were there in my pastor;
You were in the kindness of friends
and the sympathy of family.
I did not want to see You,
But You were still there.
Lord, Forgiver and Redeemer,
convict me with Your presence
and help me to be the person
You created me to be.
I once had an assignment in which I had to write a story of sorts in the style of an Old Testament book. If I'm remembering correctly, I chose Jonah. It was an interesting exercise - using biblical language to describe something in the modern day. Well, today was a rather long and frustrating day for me. When I first day down to write a blog post, I entirely intended to do nothing but complain. But I think it would be helpful for me to write about my day in the style of a book of the Bible again, and once I get to the end, you'll see why. Here goes nothing, kind of in the style of one of the Psalms of lament.
O Lord, today I felt alone,
exhausted, and betrayed.
I did all that I could do
and still, it was not enough.
My best of intentions
amounted to nothing at all.
Those supposed to help
were absent and unashamed.
When I needed them the most,
they were elsewhere.
And I wondered, Lord God,
where were You?
But when I looked around,
I found You everywhere.
You were there in my daughter;
You were there in my pastor;
You were in the kindness of friends
and the sympathy of family.
I did not want to see You,
But You were still there.
Lord, Forgiver and Redeemer,
convict me with Your presence
and help me to be the person
You created me to be.
Monday, June 26, 2017
Everything Is an Experiment
Hello, friends. Today, instead of going to work, I'm sitting at home eating small amounts of cereal and trying not to throw up. So far, so good.
I did have to leave at some point to drive my daughter to and from the library, where she had been volunteering. I say "had been" because today, the teen librarian told me that she wasn't a good fit for the program. It was an uncomfortable conversation. Basically, she said that my daughter didn't want to help - all she wanted to do was play.
This didn't come as a great shock to me, and if you've spent any time with my daughter, I doubt you're shocked either. But if that conversation was uncomfortable, it was nothing compared to the conversation I then had to have with my daughter. I spent the drive home thinking, "How on earth do I break this to her?"
In the end, I kept it simple. I asked her some questions about what she did at the library versus what she was supposed to do, and she was able to acknowledge that she didn't always listen to the librarian. I then told her about one of my mottos in life: everything is an experiment. If one thing doesn't work, we try something else. And that's okay. Not everything is going to work. Sometimes things will work for awhile and then stop working. When one experiment fails, we move on to the next. That's how life works.
I'm glad she was able to volunteer, even if only for a few weeks. Now we find our next experiment.
I did have to leave at some point to drive my daughter to and from the library, where she had been volunteering. I say "had been" because today, the teen librarian told me that she wasn't a good fit for the program. It was an uncomfortable conversation. Basically, she said that my daughter didn't want to help - all she wanted to do was play.
This didn't come as a great shock to me, and if you've spent any time with my daughter, I doubt you're shocked either. But if that conversation was uncomfortable, it was nothing compared to the conversation I then had to have with my daughter. I spent the drive home thinking, "How on earth do I break this to her?"
In the end, I kept it simple. I asked her some questions about what she did at the library versus what she was supposed to do, and she was able to acknowledge that she didn't always listen to the librarian. I then told her about one of my mottos in life: everything is an experiment. If one thing doesn't work, we try something else. And that's okay. Not everything is going to work. Sometimes things will work for awhile and then stop working. When one experiment fails, we move on to the next. That's how life works.
I'm glad she was able to volunteer, even if only for a few weeks. Now we find our next experiment.
Thursday, June 22, 2017
What Is the Church (Softball Team)
Hello, friends. Tonight, during our first church softball game, the opposing team needed some extra players. Our team had so many players that I hadn't even put myself on our line-up, so I volunteered myself. This gave me the unique opportunity to watch my team govern themselves.
The other team put me in right field. I was in the perfect position to observe my team's dugout. They were laughing and joking and cheering each other on and helping each other out and I thought to myself, this is the church. This is what I want to see. This beautiful sight reminded me of 1st Thessalonians 5:11 - "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."
Then it came time for them to go into the field. Despite the clearly-displayed lineup that I had done and redone five times to the best of my ability, people got confused and went to the wrong positions and started yelling at each other and getting frustrated. At first I was discouraged as I watched them from the other dugout, but then I realized: this is the church, too. We're not perfect. We make mistakes. We get angry. We get annoyed. We're just people, after all.
The game went on, and there were ups and downs in both dugouts. But in the end, we all came out as friends, and that's what the church truly is - a place of forgiveness.
The other team put me in right field. I was in the perfect position to observe my team's dugout. They were laughing and joking and cheering each other on and helping each other out and I thought to myself, this is the church. This is what I want to see. This beautiful sight reminded me of 1st Thessalonians 5:11 - "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."
Then it came time for them to go into the field. Despite the clearly-displayed lineup that I had done and redone five times to the best of my ability, people got confused and went to the wrong positions and started yelling at each other and getting frustrated. At first I was discouraged as I watched them from the other dugout, but then I realized: this is the church, too. We're not perfect. We make mistakes. We get angry. We get annoyed. We're just people, after all.
The game went on, and there were ups and downs in both dugouts. But in the end, we all came out as friends, and that's what the church truly is - a place of forgiveness.
Friday, May 26, 2017
Lessons from Lizzie McGuire
Hello, friends.
"No one person can save the whole world." That's a familiar phrase from my blog, but I want to share with you where I first learned it. It's not where you might think.
When I was younger, I was a big Disney Channel girl. One of my favorite shows was Lizzie McGuire. I vividly remember an episode in which Lizzie and her friend ran a successful food drive at their school. Because of their success, Lizzie became obsessed with volunteering and other noble pursuits - she started forcefully collecting items for the homeless shelter and sorting out trash and recycling at home, and she even became a vegetarian. She yelled at her mother for leaving the water running, her friends for making paper airplanes, and her teacher for not printing a pop quiz double-sided.
Lizzie's parents sat her down to talk about her behavior. They pointed out that she was taking on too much and running herself into the ground - she couldn't save the world by herself. If she really wanted to make a difference, they said, what she needed to do was pick one thing and go for it. Her heart was in the right place, but she needed to calm down and allow herself to rest.
Lizzie tried to do too much. She wanted to support the food pantry and homeless shelter. She wanted to recycle more and help animals and save the earth's resources. None of those things were bad, but she was only one person, and she couldn't do all of those things at once.
When I was in college, boy, did I make a Lizzie mistake. I tried to be a key leader in Students for Life, Puppet Ministry, and Small Groups all at once while still participating in other activities and taking a full course load. Everything suffered for lack of time and energy until I realized that I had tried to do too much. All of the things I was doing were good things, but I was only one person, and I just couldn't do all of them at once. I had to give some of them up in order to give my best effort.
It's easy to fall into that trap. We can become "yes-people," always agreeing to do anything that sounds good. That is a mistake. It's better to do one or two things, and do them very well, than to do five or six things poorly. It doesn't matter if all five or six things are good and important if you can't do them well.
Right now, in my life, I've picked my things. I'm a foster mother. I adopted a dog from a rescue. I donate money to my friends who are missionaries overseas. And when an important cause comes up, such as the recent tragedy in Manchester, I give a one-time donation. I can't afford to give my money to every charity, although there are many charities that I believe in. If I did give my money and my time and my energy to every worthy cause, I'd be broke and exhausted and unable to help any new causes in the future. I have to pick and choose. That's the choice that I have, and it's a good one. By picking my things, I'm able to help more people in the long run.
I can't save the whole world. But I can make a difference, one person and one cause at a time. And so can you.
"No one person can save the whole world." That's a familiar phrase from my blog, but I want to share with you where I first learned it. It's not where you might think.
When I was younger, I was a big Disney Channel girl. One of my favorite shows was Lizzie McGuire. I vividly remember an episode in which Lizzie and her friend ran a successful food drive at their school. Because of their success, Lizzie became obsessed with volunteering and other noble pursuits - she started forcefully collecting items for the homeless shelter and sorting out trash and recycling at home, and she even became a vegetarian. She yelled at her mother for leaving the water running, her friends for making paper airplanes, and her teacher for not printing a pop quiz double-sided.
Lizzie's parents sat her down to talk about her behavior. They pointed out that she was taking on too much and running herself into the ground - she couldn't save the world by herself. If she really wanted to make a difference, they said, what she needed to do was pick one thing and go for it. Her heart was in the right place, but she needed to calm down and allow herself to rest.
Lizzie tried to do too much. She wanted to support the food pantry and homeless shelter. She wanted to recycle more and help animals and save the earth's resources. None of those things were bad, but she was only one person, and she couldn't do all of those things at once.
When I was in college, boy, did I make a Lizzie mistake. I tried to be a key leader in Students for Life, Puppet Ministry, and Small Groups all at once while still participating in other activities and taking a full course load. Everything suffered for lack of time and energy until I realized that I had tried to do too much. All of the things I was doing were good things, but I was only one person, and I just couldn't do all of them at once. I had to give some of them up in order to give my best effort.
It's easy to fall into that trap. We can become "yes-people," always agreeing to do anything that sounds good. That is a mistake. It's better to do one or two things, and do them very well, than to do five or six things poorly. It doesn't matter if all five or six things are good and important if you can't do them well.
Right now, in my life, I've picked my things. I'm a foster mother. I adopted a dog from a rescue. I donate money to my friends who are missionaries overseas. And when an important cause comes up, such as the recent tragedy in Manchester, I give a one-time donation. I can't afford to give my money to every charity, although there are many charities that I believe in. If I did give my money and my time and my energy to every worthy cause, I'd be broke and exhausted and unable to help any new causes in the future. I have to pick and choose. That's the choice that I have, and it's a good one. By picking my things, I'm able to help more people in the long run.
I can't save the whole world. But I can make a difference, one person and one cause at a time. And so can you.
Monday, May 22, 2017
Church Workers Are People Too
Hello, friends.
My heart hurts today. I'm not going to share all of the details, because they're not mine to tell, but here's the gist: a pastor I know was ousted by his congregation.
On behalf of church workers everywhere, please remember that church workers are people too. We are sinners and saints, just like you. We aren't perfect - and God knew that when He called us to our churches. He called us there anyway. So if you have an issue with a church worker, keep these three things in mind:
1) Go talk to them. That sounds obvious, but in a conflict, our first reaction is often to talk about it to someone else. I'm guilty of that. Go talk to the church worker and be willing to work things out. Don't charge into their office and yell at them until they agree with you. Go into the conversation with an open mind and the desire to find a solution that works for both of you.
2) Know that church workers cannot read minds. Something that seems obvious to you might not be obvious to them. And then there's the other side of the coin - something that seems obvious to them might not be obvious to you. Church workers generally have reasons for the things they do. If you're concerned about something, ask about their reasoning before you judge.
3) Have compassion. When the aforementioned congregation ousted their pastor, they also ousted that pastor's wife and children from their home and school. Before the situation got to this point, the congregation had reduced the pastor's salary so much that the family was living on food stamps. It baffles me that a church could have so little compassion for those kids, if nothing else.
Please, please, please. Don't let this happen anywhere else. Stand up for your church workers, imperfect as they may be. They are people too, and they deserve your kindness and respect.
(And if you know of a vacant congregation, let me know.)
My heart hurts today. I'm not going to share all of the details, because they're not mine to tell, but here's the gist: a pastor I know was ousted by his congregation.
On behalf of church workers everywhere, please remember that church workers are people too. We are sinners and saints, just like you. We aren't perfect - and God knew that when He called us to our churches. He called us there anyway. So if you have an issue with a church worker, keep these three things in mind:
1) Go talk to them. That sounds obvious, but in a conflict, our first reaction is often to talk about it to someone else. I'm guilty of that. Go talk to the church worker and be willing to work things out. Don't charge into their office and yell at them until they agree with you. Go into the conversation with an open mind and the desire to find a solution that works for both of you.
2) Know that church workers cannot read minds. Something that seems obvious to you might not be obvious to them. And then there's the other side of the coin - something that seems obvious to them might not be obvious to you. Church workers generally have reasons for the things they do. If you're concerned about something, ask about their reasoning before you judge.
3) Have compassion. When the aforementioned congregation ousted their pastor, they also ousted that pastor's wife and children from their home and school. Before the situation got to this point, the congregation had reduced the pastor's salary so much that the family was living on food stamps. It baffles me that a church could have so little compassion for those kids, if nothing else.
Please, please, please. Don't let this happen anywhere else. Stand up for your church workers, imperfect as they may be. They are people too, and they deserve your kindness and respect.
(And if you know of a vacant congregation, let me know.)
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Joy in Judo
Hello, friends! My daughter and I had Judo class tonight. It was delightful. Let me tell you a few reasons why.
1) Self-defense, man. It's so important for me and my daughter to learn how to defend ourselves.
2) Judo teaches discipline and patience - something that me and my daughter both struggle with.
3) There are people my daughter's age and people my age in the class. You might know that I've struggled to make friends in Enid. Tonight I spent maybe ten minutes talking to an adult who was not a member of my church. That's so rare; I value the friendships I'm building so much!
4) I think it's wonderful that my daughter and I are able to do this together. It allows us to encourage each other. She sees that I'm not automatically good at this, that I fail (often), and that it's okay to fail. She sees me practicing and learning, and it inspires her to do the same.
5) I seriously love learning new skills, and this is completely new.
That about sums it up, I think. I'm really hoping that taking this class and sticking with it (at least for a while) will give my daughter confidence. And I'm not gonna lie, I could use some confidence too. :)
1) Self-defense, man. It's so important for me and my daughter to learn how to defend ourselves.
2) Judo teaches discipline and patience - something that me and my daughter both struggle with.
3) There are people my daughter's age and people my age in the class. You might know that I've struggled to make friends in Enid. Tonight I spent maybe ten minutes talking to an adult who was not a member of my church. That's so rare; I value the friendships I'm building so much!
4) I think it's wonderful that my daughter and I are able to do this together. It allows us to encourage each other. She sees that I'm not automatically good at this, that I fail (often), and that it's okay to fail. She sees me practicing and learning, and it inspires her to do the same.
5) I seriously love learning new skills, and this is completely new.
That about sums it up, I think. I'm really hoping that taking this class and sticking with it (at least for a while) will give my daughter confidence. And I'm not gonna lie, I could use some confidence too. :)
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