Single Life Struggles: Episode 1

Hello, friends. I'd like to welcome you to what will probably become a recurring segment on the Iowa Girl Meets World show. It's called Single Life Struggles. In this segment, your host (me) will demonstrate a struggle or two in the life of a young single adult (also me).

This is the first time I've lived alone. Yes, I was alone in my University Lutheran apartment last year, but let's face it, you're not really alone when you live in the basement of a church. (Just ask me about that time two parishioners thought I was dead...) Anyway, it truly is a struggle to live alone. I have a lot of examples of this, but let's start off with this picture.

Single Life Struggle: when you have so few visitors that you don't do dishes for weeks (because who is going to see them?), and you are disgusted with yourself, but not enough to care until you really have nothing to eat off of and there is an unknown variety of mold growing in your sink, and you realize that almost every single dish needs to soak, but your sink isn't big enough for that, so you find a plastic storage bin and fill it with soapy water and put your dishes in it and still not all of them fit.

And then there's this:

Single Life Struggle: when you are living alone in a new place and you're trying to figure everything out (trash pickup, new doctor/dentist/veterinarian, good restaurants, taxes, insurance, bills, etc.) and you want to be a good citizen and recycle but that's another phone call you can't ask anyone else to make and you're just so tired of figuring things out that you save all your recycling (that's not even half of it) and keep telling yourself "I'll call tomorrow"... for five months.

This is what I mean when I tell people over the phone that I'm quite sure my house is messier than yours, thank you very much.

I know this is kind of a weird thing to blog about, but here's why I'm doing this. It's not to tell you that I don't like where I am. On the contrary, I love Enid and I love Redeemer. I'm sharing my Single Life Struggles with you because I feel alone a lot, and I don't think I actually am. These stories are embarrassing to me, but I don't think I'm the only person who struggles to wash their dishes. I don't think I'm the only person who doesn't like making phone calls. So if this strikes a chord with you, tell me. Maybe we'll both feel less alone.

(I feel like I should add - I'm sure these struggles aren't necessarily restricted to single people living alone. However, I think being single and living alone make these struggles not more difficult, but just... different.)

Mild Miracle

Hello, friends! A mild miracle has occurred today: my house is clean. I thought some of you might enjoy seeing some pictures of my uncommonly clean house, so here you go.

Exhibit A: My spare bedroom. I'm still deciding how I want to decorate it.

Exhibit B: My bedroom. Note the koala.

Exhibit C: My favorite room in the house, where all of my books are.

Exhibit D: My living room, complete with new love seat and chair.

Exhibit E: Obligatory photo of my backyard with my dog, because, well, she's cute.

Stream of Consciousness

Hello, friends! I hope you're having an excellent Thursday. It's actually my Friday, tomorrow being my day off. I've been relaxing (read: watching excessive amounts of the tv show Forever) pretty much since I left work.

Now, normally when I write blogs, I have some idea of what I want to get across to you, my readers. (Apparently, some of you are in Ukraine... Hi there!) Today, I've got nothing, but I'm bored, so here we are. Therefore you're going to get my stream of consciousness for awhile. :)

Work is interesting. Sometimes I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and I do it, and I feel accomplished. Other days I sit in my DCE study and look around and think, now what? Today was one of those days to a large extent. Maybe this will clear up with time. Or maybe I'm just perpetually confused. Either one is possible.

Speaking of sitting around, I do a lot of that at home these days. I still haven't made a whole lot of friends in Enid. Anyone know of effective ways to make friends your own age in a new town?

On the upside, I do have my adorable dog. Today I gave her a couple of ice cubes. She chewed them up, but only after she spent several minutes chasing them around the patio because they kept slipping out of her mouth. I'm so easily amused...

Lindsey was amused by my dog, too. My dear friend visited last week, which was absolutely delightful. I have missed my twin so much. I can count on one hand the number of people who can make me laugh like she can. For example, she gave me a lecture on how I eat bread. In case you're wondering, I eat it like a barbarian. Or so I'm told. She's also still complaining about how I ate spaghetti on a particular night four years ago.

While Lindsey was here, we visited a museum that documents the Oklahoma strip land run. Basically, they had people register, then had them line up along the border with their horses, wagons, etc. They then fired a gun into the air and thousands of people rushed as quickly as they could into the strip to stake their claim. There were all kinds of injuries because, well, it was a horse race with no rules or referees. Also, there were four offices for these thousands of people to register their claim with, and these offices had three clerks each. People had to wait for up to a week in line. Can you imagine that happening today? Holy cow. I can hardly even picture it.

(Also, in the late 1800s, houses commonly had muslin hung from their ceilings to keep large bugs from falling on people's heads. Lindsey and I decided that we're okay with that not being a big problem today.)

(We were also mistaken for LDS missionaries, I guess because we were two girls together?)

Well, my stream of consciousness seems to be drawing to a close for the moment. I'm completely ready to settle down and watch another episode of the sadly and ironically short-lived show Forever. Goodnight all!

A Story and a Prayer

Hello, friends! Today I have a story for you. It's about the second-best day of my life.

On December 23rd, 2014, I was in Arvada, Colorado, visiting my extended family for the holidays. My parents and I arrived in Arvada about an hour before my brother and sister-in-law did and went out to eat with my grandparents. We all went in one car, my parents and I nice and cozy in the backseat.

When we got back to my grandparents' house, we saw my brother's car. My mom was so excited that she quickly got out of the car and slammed the door... right on my forehead as I tried to exit the backseat after her. Naturally, this hurt. A lot. A lot a lot. Did I mention it hurt? We went inside, where my grandma got me some ice for my head and some Advil for the pain. I sat on a couch next to Zach and Lindsey, and my poor head was aching like no other.

You may be wondering, "Why on earth is this the second-best day of your life?" Just wait.

Zach told my parents that he and Lindsey had a Christmas present for them. My dad protested at first, saying that we weren't supposed to open presents until Christmas Eve, but finally he gave in and Zach handed him a small box. My dad opened it, my parents read what was inside, and my mom started to cry.

Keep in mind, I'm across the room, holding ice on my head and feeling very disoriented. I asked, "What does it say?" My mom said, "Come and read it!" Suddenly I realized what it had to be about, and I jumped up and ran across the room. It read, "Roses are red, violets are blue, on July 3rd your grandbaby is due."

I squealed and jumped up and down and then decided that was a terrible idea and sat back down before I fell over, but that didn't abate my excitement one bit. Lindsey was pregnant! I couldn't believe it! The rest of the night consisted of all of us freaking out (me most of all, to the surprise of none of you). When we got to our hotel that night, I texted some of my friends. I think the texts looked something like this: "Oh my gosh oh my gosh OH MY GOSH I'm an aunt!!"

Any guesses about the first best day of my life? No contest, the day my nephew was born, even if he was born two weeks early and I had to wait that long to meet him. I'll bug him about that inconvenience until my dying day, but June 19th, 2015, is still the best day ever. Ask Sarah Dittman about that one. I think she'll always remember it, too. :D

I tell you this story partly because I think it's hilarious that I probably had a minor concussion when Zach and Lindsey announced that they were having a baby. But the real reason is that the March for Life is being held today, and therefore I feel compelled to write about something pro-life. When Zach and Lindsey announced that they were expecting a baby, my first thought wasn't "I'm going to be an aunt!" My first thought was "I *am* an aunt!" My love for little Kylen Bjorn started that day, long before he was born, because he was as fully human on December 23rd as he was on June 19th. There were all kinds of developments between those two dates, but one thing didn't change - he's a person. That's a fact.

There is far more to the abortion debate than the personhood of the unborn, but I think it has to start there. If the unborn weren't people, I don't think there would be a debate. If the unborn weren't people, there would be no reason to argue about the legality of abortion. But they are. And so there is.

I can't be in D.C. today with the Marchers, but that's where my heart is. My heart is with those who march in the snow and the cold to protest abortion. My heart is with those who give up time and money and energy and comfort to bring attention to what may be the greatest issue of our day. My heart is with my nephew and all babies, born and unborn. I pray that they will be able to grow up in a world where children and women both are protected and valued as they should be.

We All Have a Voice

Hello, friends! Wow, it's my first blog of 2016. When I started this back in 2014 I never imagined I would have this much fun blogging. That shows what I know!

Anyway, I just finished watching the clip of Ellen DeGeneres winning the Humanitarian Award at the People's Choice Awards. She's a truly inspirational person - someone who firmly believes in one ideal (be kind to one another) and embodies it in every aspect of her life. Obviously, there are many points where I disagree with Ellen, but no one can deny that she is incredibly kind. She uses her talk show, her wealth, and her sense of humor to spread kindness around the world.

Sometimes I look at the problems in our world and wonder, what can I do? How can I help the homeless people in Enid or Syrian refugees overseas or bullied kids in our schools or people in abusive relationships? What can I do? I'm just one person. I don't have the influence that someone like Ellen does, and even she hasn't been able to solve these problems.

I don't think anyone reading this has quite as global of a voice as Ellen does. (If you do, please let me know, because apparently you're famous and I didn't know it.) But the fact is, we all have a voice. We all have a chance at influencing the people around us. If we as Christians truly embody our ideals of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control - if we make them a vital part of our identities and use what we have been given to spread them to those around us - then we can change the world. While I was in Florida, my mantra was "every person matters." This applies here. We can't change the world all in one fell swoop. But if we manage to influence one person, who influences one person, who influences one person, then the world will change gradually.

I'm a Director of Christian Education. My goal is to influence the people of Redeemer Lutheran Church with those ideals, the fruits of the Spirit. I almost wrote "I want to influence everyone I work with," but then I realized that even that is too big of a scope. I am one person. I can't do that. But I can influence the teenagers in my youth group. I can influence the leaders who work with me directly. I can influence the parents in my congregation. By narrowing my vision, my goals become clearer. I'm able to recognize my limitations and emphasize my strengths.

Let me give you an example. I was bullied as a kid in middle school, so bullied kids are a particular source of passion for me. I have one in my confirmation class. She's one of those awkward preteens who attracts a lot of teasing, just like I was. So as I was planning for my junior high youth group, I decided to focus on friendship this semester. I probably won't ever address the problem directly. This is something that I can't fix directly, just like my teachers couldn't. But I can influence it. I can point out the principles of friendship, the problem of excluding others, and biblical examples of good friends. Through this message, repeated over and over again throughout the semester, I'm hoping that I can show the bullies what they're doing wrong, and the bullied what she is truly worth to me and to God.

That's my example. What's yours? How are you influencing those around you?

Thoughts from Captain Jack

Happy New Year's Eve, friends! As you're out celebrating and I'm at home in my pajamas, let's reflect together on these words. This quote is from one of my favorite movies, Pirates of the Caribbean. Gibbs says to Captain Jack, "Take what you can." Captain Jack replies, "Give nothing back."

That's our attitude in much of life, isn't it? Most of us are not pirates sailing the seven seas, but we are pirates right where we are. We ignore the plights of others, choosing instead to focus on our own wants and desires. For example, we buy new pairs of mittens for ourselves, despite the fact that the mittens we already have are just fine, and we conveniently don't see the homeless man on the side of the snowy street whose hands are frozen.

Now, I'm not trying to get into a debate about how to best help the homeless. What I am trying to point out is that we are a selfish people. We are no better than Gibbs and Captain Jack.

Here's what I propose: that we see ourselves in others and do for them what we would have them do for us. This will be different for each of us. Some of us have been blessed financially and can give to various organizations. Some of us have been blessed with talents that can be beneficial to others. Some of us have been blessed with time to use serving others. Whatever it may be, let's change the quote - give what you can, and take nothing back. After all, that's what Jesus did for us. It's what he calls us to do as his people. Let's do it!

A Christmas Doggie Devotional

Hello, friends! Merry, merry, merry Christmas! I'm writing to you from my garage, where my dog and I have been engaged in a celebratory game of fetch for over an hour.

(Before anyone says, "Why are you not with your family?!", let me reassure you, I will be seeing my family soon. My nephew, along with a few other people probably, will be in Urbandale over New Year's, so that's when I'm going home.)

Now, back to that celebratory game of fetch. Pastor Jay once told me that you can make a spiritual analogy out of anything, so here's my attempt. :p

My dog lives in my garage, because I'm not allowed to have her in the house. Every morning, the first thing I do is get up and let her out of her crate. She is beyond excited to see me. We usually go for a walk or play some fetch before I feed her. Then I have to go to work, so I lock her in her crate again.

When I come home for lunch, the first thing I do is let her out of her crate. She's beyond excited to see me. We go for a short walk and I let her hang out outside on her tether (which is no longer attached to any windows) while I eat on the kitchen. Then I have to make the long trek across the parking lot back to work, so I lock her back in the crate.

When I get off of work, I return home and let my dog out of her crate. She's beyond excited to see me. This is usually when we go for a nice long walk, often an hour or more. We play fetch in the backyard or "find-the-treat" in the garage. I feed her around 4:30. However, I do have to leave her by herself outside or in the garage while I am productive (or unproductive, as the case may be)  inside. She's always rather sad when I leave her alone. She checks the kitchen door every few minutes to see if I happen to want to play fetch. Then, when I go to bed, I lock her in her crate and leave her for the night.

Now, I tell you all of these mundane details about the life of Kensi for a reason, I promise. Kensi is what every good Christian should be: she is enthusiastic, persistent, dedicated, and loving. Just like Kensi, I should be enthusiastic about my God. I should be persistent, constantly checking to see if my God has anything new to do or say. I should be dedicated, always willing and eager to do whatever it is that my God sets before me. And finally, I should be loving. I should emulate my loving God in everything I say and do.

Notice I said "should." I'll be honest with you - I don't do those things; at least, I don't do them all the time.

But there is this wonderful holiday. Maybe you've heard of it. It's called Christmas. On Christmas, Jesus Christ was born. Jesus Christ came to earth to fulfill all of our "shoulds." Jesus was enthusiastic, persistent, dedicated and loving from the day he was conceived to the day he died - and to the day he rose again, and still even to today. There has never been better news in all of eternity.

Because of Jesus, my "shoulds" turn into "cans" - as in, my "I should be enthusiastic" turns into "I can be enthusiastic - in Christ." My "I should be persistent" turns into "I can be persistent - in Christ." My "I should be dedicated" turns into "I can be dedicated - in Christ." And my "I should be loving" turns into "I can be loving - in Christ." Just like the angel told Mary, "Nothing will be impossible with God."

Now, before I finish this blog, there's another spiritual analogy I want to make. My dog's whole life revolves around me coming into the garage. When I'm not present, she sleeps. End of story. This is yet another way in which I can copy my wonderful animal. My whole life should revolve around my God. It doesn't - but because Jesus's did, mine can, too. And the great thing is that I don't have to wait for my God to come into my garage, so to speak. He's with me always, and that is never more evident then on Christmas.

From me and mine, to you and yours, with love, merry Christmas. I pray that you keep the hope of Christ's birth in your heart today and always.