Reflection on Rejection

Hello, friends! I know it's not a Thursday, but I've mostly lost track of the days of the week since coming home to Urbandale. I can only tell it's a Sunday because I went to church this morning and Vacation Bible School starts tonight.

Some of you know that I spent last weekend in Colorado for an interview. Normally, I don't talk about my interviews on the Internet. I keep any conversation about them off the web unless I get the job. I think this is partly because I have no control over the outcome of interviews, but the bigger reason is that I've been rejected often. I don't like to advertise that fact. I prefer to share good news. It's much easier for me to post a Facebook status that says "I got the job!" than one that says "Rejected again."

But this interview was different, and although my status would say "Rejected again," I want to talk about it. I want you to know what happened and how a weekend in Colorado changed me.

Let me set the scene. The church had interviewed several candidates over the phone. Once they had narrowed their list down to three, they invited us all out to visit their church and the surrounding community for a weekend. This is standard protocol, except for one thing: they invited all of us out at once. Never before had I met the other candidates for a position I was interviewing for.

At first, all of us were confused. We didn't know quite what to make of the situation. But as the weekend progressed, it became clear to us that we weren't competing with each other. The church recognized the different gifts in each of us. We didn't have the same gifts, and therefore, comparing us was like comparing apples and oranges. The church wasn't picking what kind of apple they wanted. They were deciding if they wanted an apple or an orange or a pear. They understood that we were different and they wanted to see which of us would be the best fit based on our personal gifts.

This changed the weekend from an uncomfortable one to a fun one. I enjoyed getting to know the people in the congregation, and after an initial phase of awkwardness, I enjoyed getting to know the other candidates, too. I learned from them, and they learned from me. We observed that we were different and that it was okay for us to be different. Not all church workers should be, or try to be, the same. Each of us has different strengths. Each of us has been gifted by God in different ways. We should act on those strengths and gifts rather than trying to be the cookie-cutter church worker we sometimes strive to be.

Knowing the other candidates also had another effect. On Tuesday night, I received a phone call from the pastor. He informed me that I was not going to receive the call to Colorado. Instead of bursting into tears, as I normally do after a rejection, I was calm. I thanked him for giving me the opportunity to come to Colorado.

When I hung up the phone, I thought to myself, "I'm happy for whichever of the other two candidates gets the call. They will do well." Ordinarily I would have been upset with myself and angry at the other candidates, convinced that I should have gotten the call and that I did something wrong. But this time, I was content in knowing that God was not calling me there and happy for the candidate whom God was calling there. And that's really what the call process is about, isn't it? Recognizing that it's not what we do or don't do, or about a decision made by people. It's about what God has in store for each one of us.

So although I have been rejected again, I am not embarrassed or frustrated. Certainly there's still a feeling of impatience, for I do have a call to ministry -- that much I know -- and I will be anxious until I am fulfilling it. But recognizing the gifts of the other two candidates changed me. Recognizing the gifts of the other two candidates brought God's master plan into perspective.