My Hard Day

Hello, friends.

Today was a hard day.

As you know, unless you haven't seen any of my social media posts for a month, we've been struggling with lice in my house. I've tried everything: bagging up stuffed animals and pillows, doing laundry constantly, spraying the furniture, vacuuming daily, putting slip covers on the mattresses, and, of course, using lice cream and shampoos and nit combs. I've managed to get it out of my hair, but not my daughter's. It's certainly not for lack of trying.

In the past couple of days, my daughter has developed a rash. I didn't think too much of it, especially since I was planning to take her to the doctor on Wednesday. The school nurse, however, thought it was a bigger deal and insisted that my daughter be sent home from school and go to the doctor today. She also called my case worker because she was concerned that I wasn't doing enough for my daughter's health.

It turns out that my daughter is allergic to the very ingredient that is most effective in getting rid of lice. Go figure, right? So she has to take medicine to get rid of the rash, and they had to order a special, completely different lice cream that won't come in until tomorrow, which means my daughter won't be able to go to school again until Thursday or Friday, since the school nurse is so concerned. I also had the great pleasure of cleaning every bit of furniture in our house that has ever come in contact with that ingredient.

I'm frustrated with the nurse - unfairly, I know, because she's just doing her job, but it's irritating to have her go above my head like that when I've been working so hard to combat the lice. I'm frustrated with myself, because I should have gone to the doctor weeks ago, but I've been putting it off because of how my daughter typically reacts to doctors (not well). I'm frustrated because my daughter has been doing well in school and now she can't go for at least another day. I'm frustrated with the whole situation, and I just wish I wasn't dealing with this alone.

Earlier, after I picked my daughter up from school and went back to work, I let my frustration get the better of me. I was stomping around the church, trying to do everything at once, not really accomplishing anything, in a very bad mood and not afraid to show it. When I realized that my attitude was making things worse, I made myself take a break. I went to the sanctuary, sat in a pew, and picked up a hymnal. I sang Morning Prayer by myself in the light from the windows. I read Psalm 46. I sang "Be Still, My Soul." I prayed.

Sometimes, I feel like it's me against the world. Me against lice, me against the school nurse, me against the messy house and unwashed dishes and endless laundry. My mantra is often "If I don't do it, no one will." But I'm not alone.

"Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; your best, your heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

I'm not alone. I have my God, who has given me my caring pastor and congregation, my family, my friends, and yes, my caseworkers and the school nurse and especially my daughter. Despite my hard day, and the hard days I know are in my future, I know that the Lord is on my side, and He will lead me to a joyful end. Without Him, today would just be awful. But with Him, I have a different perspective.