Hello, friends.
Recently I've caught myself thinking some of these thoughts:
"Man, I'm really not good at this parenting thing."
"I can't believe I didn't notice that she wasn't brushing her hair."
"My house is such a mess... what kind of example am I setting?"
"I should be spending more time with her, but I'm so tired."
"Maybe I shouldn't be doing this."
I didn't take the easy road when I became a foster parent, that's for sure. I've never been one to take the easy road, but this - this is the hardest road I've ever walked. Foster parenting is frustrating and exhausting and overwhelming. I wonder all the time if this was a good decision.
Then I think about where my foster daughter might be if I hadn't taken her in. Yes, this situation is hard for me, but imagine what it's like for her. Here in my home, she knows that she is safe, and loved, and cared for. Those things have never been a guarantee for her before.
So when I find myself thinking about my failures as a parent, I remember that I've been doing this for a grand total of 8 months, and I am not expected to be perfect - just present.
This was never about me. It was always about her.
Mary, this is so well written, and this is a perfect example of how a person turns things around, self doubt, concern of failure, to mention a few., looking at the positives instead of only the negative around them. Remembering or looking at how it is for the child, not only for you. All "parents" go through the same fears, you have had a crash course, starting with a teen, instead of a crying baby. You took on a huge task, and from all I see and hear, have met that task head on, with all its ups and downs! From one who knows, no two children are alike, and none I know of were born with manuals. Pat yourself on the back, all any of us can do, is the best we can, with what we know at the time. Parenting is an ongoing educational process you never get done with! Enjoy this time, you will have even more knowledge for when you have your own babies! Thank you for helping with this young lady. Hugs and prayers, Aunt Linda
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