Hello, friends.
Today, I woke up, woke my daughter up, drove her to school, came home, took a shower, got dressed, and went to work. My secretary wasn't in today, so I only took a short break to come home and grab some leftover pizza before heading back to the office. While at work, I divided my time between VBS planning and brainstorming for my confirmation class next year. I left work, hung out at home for a little bit, then picked my daughter up from school. We spent our evening as we often do: I did chores, she did chores, we ate dinner, we both stared at screens a little too much, and then she went to bed. Now I'm here, typing all of this out for you.
My day-to-day routine didn't change a whole lot when I became a foster parent over two years ago. Let's be honest: I spent a lot of time staring at screens before I was a foster parent. I went to work. I came home. I did chores. I ate leftover pizza.
However, my life in general changed dramatically when I became a foster parent. I became "Mom." Every single parent out there knows there's no coming back from that. Once you're a parent, that's it. And it's wonderful. I love being "Mom." I love the funny back-and-forths I have with my daughter. If you keep up with my Facebook feed, you know what I mean. She cracks me up like no one else can. She also makes me cry like no one else can. Recently she's been coming up to me at random times of the day and saying, "I didn't get my hug this morning." Let me tell you, unsolicited hugs from my daughter are the very best kind.
Her life changed dramatically, too. She's made an insane amount of progress in the last two years. She's matured, she's opened up, she's become braver and stronger and kinder, she's gained confidence and a sense of responsibility and a whole host of positive role models. She's becoming her own person, acknowledging the things that have happened to her without letting them define her, and that's incredible. She's been able to do all of these things because she's had stability, consistency, and unconditional love.
Does she still have a long way to go? Without a doubt. But so do I.
There are some people who question whether my decision to become a foster parent two years ago was the right one. I won't deny that I've questioned that before, too. On the days when I get calls from school, for example. Or the nights when she gets out of the shower and I make her get right back in because she didn't wash her hair. I'm pretty sure all parents have those kind of moments. But all good parents recognize that momentary discomfort or annoyance doesn't change the fact that they're parents, and they love their kids dearly and would do anything - anything - for them.
Has being a foster parent affected my job? Absolutely. I've been forced to learn more about teenagers, and parenting teenagers, and the joys and struggles both teenagers and parents face on a daily basis. What terrible experiences for a Director of Christian Education to have! It's almost like this is a good thing. Because it absolutely is. Nothing about this situation is undesirable for me. My daughter has made me a better DCE, a better Christian, a better person.
Is being her mom hard? Yes, it is. I won't sugarcoat it. But my daughter is a child of God just like you and me. She deserves compassion, sacrifice, acceptance, encouragement, love. Just love.
If anyone can take an honest look at my daughter, knowing that she's in the foster system for a reason, and say that she doesn't deserve those things, that she's somehow "less than" because she's not like other teenagers, that I shouldn't be willing to give up everything for her because it's too hard... well, the simple truth here is that they're wrong.
She's my daughter. And that's not the end of the story; it's only the beginning.
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