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Dear Mary from 5 years ago,
Remember University Lutheran? You left it just 9 days ago, but after 5 years, it's still a place I long to return to. Hold those memories close to you. Hold those people close to you. They're precious.
I know it seems like waiting for a call is the most painful thing that can happen to you. Trust me - it's not. I'm not saying this to scare you; I just want you to savor the time you have right now to just be. Spend time with your friends. Cuddle your new nephew. Pray. Read. Study. God's got a plan, and it's okay that you don't right now. It's going to be awhile before you're able to "just be" again. So as much as you can with an unknown future hanging over you... enjoy it.
You have big dreams. That's a good thing. Dreams are healthy. But you could use a healthy dose of caution, too. When that call comes - and I promise, it will come - jump in feet first, but keep your eyes wide open. Don't assume you can do everything, or fix everything, or be everything. You can't. You're not supposed to be able to. Don't let anyone tell you differently, including yourself.
I'm not going to tell you details, but I will tell you this: things will get bad for awhile. Your friends will see you through. Nothing will happen as you expect it to, but you can trust that God knows what he's doing.
Never stop dreaming.
Never stop caring.
Remember you're never truly alone.
Love,
Mary
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Dear Mary 5 years in the future,
I have so many questions.
Where are you?
What are you doing?
Do you have a husband? More kids? A dog? A house?
Honestly, right now, the question that would fulfill my dreams is: Are you no longer worried about making enough money to pay rent? Because that would be fantastic.
As I'm sure you remember, 2020 has been insane thus far. We're only halfway through the year! Dare I hope that the second half of the year is calmer?
Insane as it's been, though, I'm so glad I've spent it in Milwaukee. Maybe 5 years from now, you're emotionally stable enough to be okay more than 30 minutes from your friends, but I am certainly not right now. And that's okay. I need them. They need me. And Tammy needs them, and they need Tammy. There's nothing quite like the support system my little family unit has right now.
Here's what I think is important for you to know 5 years from now:
Nothing bad is ever the end of the story. Something good is always around the corner. You might be in a hallway that's miles long, but the corner's coming. Have faith in God, in yourself, and in the people who care about you.
I desperately want to know where I'll be in 5 years. I really can't even begin to guess. But wherever it is... give yourself a pat on the back. You made it. Here's to another 5 years.
Please write back,
Mary
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