Blessings I've Found in Enid, Oklahoma

Hello, friends! If any of you have talked to me lately, you've probably heard me sounding pessimistic. I've been doing a lot of complaining. This blog post is to help remedy that. I hereby present to you "Blessings I've Found in Enid, Oklahoma."

The only thing I can put first is my foster child. She's a handful, all right - but she's just a kid. More than that, she's my kid, and I love the way she laughs at my jokes, makes the most creative art projects, teaches Kensi new tricks, gets excited about the strangest of things... She's a joy.

Next on the list is my church. Sure, it has problems. Every church and every workplace does. But whenever I walk through those doors, I take something positive away. For example, last night, I attended a meeting. Someone had baked brownies for it, but she forgot to bring them. I jokingly suggested that she bring them to church today - so she did. Let me tell you, they were delicious.

Some of the people at church simply blow me away in their kindness and generosity - the young people in particular. I recently realized that I need a babysitter. I called up one of my high school students, and I had no idea what she would say. Not only did she agree, she was willing to drive over immediately if I needed her right that second.

Speaking of caring for my child, she has been enrolled in day camp for the past three weeks. She's technically too old for the camp, but the camp director has been fantastic. She understands my daughter's special circumstances and works with her at every turn, even when my daughter isn't necessarily interested in doing the same.

This list could go on for days, but I'll end it with this: I love my dog. When I need a smile, she's got the best one around.

In Times of Crisis

Hello, friends.

It's happened again.

A mass shooting, this time at a nightclub in Orlando, Florida.

Times of crisis are times to band together. I may not physically be present in Orlando, but my heart is there and my prayers are there. Does anyone know of a way people outside of Florida can band together with those directly affected?

Times of crisis are also times to remember our hope. There's a hymn on the Lutheran Service Book that reminds us of our hope, even in the times that seem hopeless. It goes like this. I can't think of a more appropriate way to end this post. (I skipped the second stanza because it's not as applicable at this moment.)

When aimless violence takes those we love,
When random death strikes childhood's promise down,
When wrenching loss becomes our daily bread,
We know, O God, You leave us not alone.

Our faith may flicker low, and hope grow dim,
Yet You, O God, are with us in our pain;
You grieve with us and for us day by day,
And with us, sharing sorrow, will remain.

Because Your Son knew agony and loss,
Felt desolation, grief and scorn and shame,
We know You will be with us, come what may,
Your loving presence near, always the same.

Through long grief-darkened days help us, dear Lord,
To trust Your grave for courage to endure,
To rest our souls in Your supporting love,
And find our hope within Your mercy sure.

The VBS Report

Hello, friends! I am grateful today for a quiet afternoon, after a long week of VBS. Don't get me wrong, it was delightful, but goodness, I'm exhausted! Let me list off some of my favorite moments for you.

• While we were setting up, two of my youth worked together to find the right way to move round tables. The tables almost fell on them several times, but they got it!
• On the first day, our fill-in pianist played some Pokemon tunes to pass the time, because why not?
• On the second day, our regular music leader taught songs to the kids for fifteen minutes, and then let them try out the organ for the last five minutes. Needless to say, hilarity ensued.
• On the third day, we learned about Easter. Our games leader intended to play hockey with an Easter egg, but somehow, this morphed into Quidditch.
• On the fourth day, I noticed a kid playing with wadded-up paper and not paying attention. I held out my hand for her to give me the paper. One of the kids next to her whispered, "Give it to her - she's the boss!"
• On the fifth and final day, we had a celebratory picnic, complete with water games. By the end we were having an all-out water war. One of the parents distracted me so that three youth could sneak up behind me and pour pitchers of water on my head. I proceeded to sic several of the kids on the parent, of course.
• The best part about the tear-down was trying to feel productive while completely soaked to the skin.

There were successes - helping a shy helper make a friend, watching the kids (even the youngest ones) learn about everything from Christmas to Pentecost, getting to know kids that I haven't interacted with much. There were failures - some of the music was above the kids' heads, the preschool helpers felt left out, we didn't have nearly as many kids as last year. But most of all, there was a whole lot of fun. I won't say I can't wait for next year, because God only knows how much I need a break. But I will say that all of the planning and stress and time was completely worth it. :)

Ups and Downs and Lessons to Learn

Hello, friends! The past couple of weeks have been full of ups and downs. Here's a list for you (starting with the downs, so we end on a high note).

Downs:
Cleaning the vomit off of the living room carpet (18 hours later when I discovered it)
Fighting with my foster daughter about showering
The dog across the street whose owners have never heard of the word "leash"
Feeling like a one-man band at church
General, extreme exhaustion this weekend

Ups:
My foster daughter doing well at the doctor's office
Practicing with the new church softball team
My homemade meatballs getting a thumbs up from my foster daughter
Discovering a new favorite show, "Leverage" (check it out)
Hearing my nephew giggle over the phone

As I wrote this list, I divided my life into two basic categories: one involving my foster daughter, and one not. It was harder to come up with things that didn't involve her than I expected. I'm learning that everything I do affects her, even if I don't think it does or should. Everything I do involves her, even if I don't think it does or should. I talk a lot about what she needs to work on, but I have so much to work on as well to be the best parent I can be.

Well, time to go. Someone needs help setting up the Wii. I'll give you a hint... it's not Kensi. This is Iowa Girl Meets World, signing off.

A Quiet Afternoon

Hello, friends! I'm writing to you on a rare quiet afternoon. Usually at this time I'm at the park, watching my foster child play and keeping my dog from jumping on everyone she sees. Today, however, my child has a borrowed DS game to play, giving me an opportunity to just sit for awhile.

(Shortly, though, I'll probably get up and do the dishes. What does it mean when I'm the responsible one in the house?)

I'm trying to come up with an appropriate analogy for what the last 20 or so days have been like. I wouldn't call them a roller coaster ride, because those freak me out. Let's call this experience so far a story. Stories have beginnings. This story began April 18th. It was a running start, no easing in here. Stories have exciting parts and slow parts and sweet parts and stressful parts.

Exciting parts: her arrival, getting her enrolled and started at a school with great educators, her first time at Midweek school.

Slow parts: lazy afternoons like this one, those peaceful couple of hours after she goes to bed, walking home with the dog after dropping her off at school in the morning.

Sweet parts: being called "Mom", watching her with Kensi, her telling me she feels at home here.

Stressful parts: brushing her hair, getting her to school on time, catching her stealing.

Stories also have a variety of characters. My child is one, but there are others: my caseworker, her caseworker, her teachers, her counselor, her doctor, all of the people at church who have been incredibly supportive.

(And the dog, of course. Can't forget the dog.)

I suppose that's enough sitting around for me. The dishes await. I hope you've all enjoyed this update on the life of a foster parent. Until next time!

Today's Joy

Hello, friends! I have officially been a foster mom for three days, and what I have to say will be no surprise: I am EXHAUSTED. But happy! There's a lot I could say and a lot I'm not allowed to say. But here's what I want to say tonight.

I was a little worried about how my child would fit in at church. I know very well that kids can be cruel, especially when a child is kind of out there - so I was worried. I didn't know if she would fit in or if the other kids would let her fit in.

After Midweek this afternoon, my worries about that particular issue are GONE.

Several of the kids went up and introduced themselves without me having to suggest it. They were all playing together like they'd known each other for ages. One girl insisted that she sit next to her during opening. My child sat in on my confirmation class, and while my class was as wild as they usually are, they were unfailingly polite and kind to her.

Some of you know that I've been doing research on Christian community. This is it, guys. I have never witnessed a show of Christian community like I did today. Because I made an announcement that I was becoming a foster mother during church, I think the majority of kids knew that my child was in foster care - and instead of letting that knowledge cloud their view of her, they welcomed her into their group as openly and warmly as I've ever seen.

I'm not sure how to end this, because I'm so joyful I might cry. So I'll just end with this: say a prayer of thanksgiving tonight for my wonderful Midweek children. :)

Excuses

Hello, friends! I have a few thoughts for you on my foster parenting situation.

• I can't be a foster parent because I'm young.
• I can't be a foster parent because I'm single.
• I can't be a foster parent because I don't make enough money.
• I can't be a foster parent because I've never done this before.
• I can't be a foster parent because I won't be able to handle it.

You could also change up the wording on that list a bit.

• I shouldn't be a foster parent because I'm young.
• I shouldn't be a foster parent because I'm single.
• I shouldn't be a foster parent because I don't make enough money.
• I shouldn't be a foster parent because I've never done this before.
• I shouldn't be a foster parent because I won't be able to handle it.

Here's how I prefer to word it, though.

• I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I'm young. People under 25 don't become foster parents very often, but that doesn't mean it's bad or wrong. It's not about your age. It's about your dedication.
• I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I'm single. If I had the option, I would much prefer to be married and foster children with my spouse. However, that doesn't mean I can't help kids in this way now.
• I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I don't make enough money. God has given me what I have, and He intends for me to use it to His glory. Helping kids certainly qualifies for that more than many other options.
• I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I've never done this before. No one who becomes a parent for the first time has ever done it before, but they do it anyway. This is no different.
• I can, and I should, be a foster parent because I won't be able to handle it. I'm new at this. I'm going to make mistakes. Maybe it won't work out, but why should that stop me from trying?

I could use these excuses for almost anything. I shouldn't be a DCE because I won't be able to handle it. I can't donate to worthy causes because I don't make enough money. I could go on.

These are not excuses that are specific to me. All of us can apply these or similar excuses to every opportunity we have to do good in this world. It's time to stop making excuses and start making a difference. That difference might not look big. It might be as simple as donating diapers to a pregnancy center or driving an elderly person to the grocery store. But let me tell you - small differences have a domino effect. Already, before a foster child has even come into my home, my church is buzzing about foster care. They all want to know how they can help. It's my hope that, by taking in a foster child myself, I will inspire others to do the same. That's what it's all about - making a small difference that creates a big difference. So let's stop making those excuses and get out there.