Hello, friends. Some bedtime puns for you:
What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a thieving alligator?
A crookodile.
What do you call a pig who does taekwondo?
A pork chop.
What do you call an ordinary potato?
A commentator.
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
What do you call a number that won't stand still?
A roamin' numeral.
And a compliment to see you off:
If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Much Sense, and the Best of Friends
Hello, friends.
Monday was Nonsense, Tuesday was Some Sense, which makes today Much Sense. I asked a good friend what I should write about today, and she thought about it for a minute, and then she said, "Woof." I'm not sure what that means...
She also told me to watch the Lenten devotional video from Hales Corners Lutheran Church and write about that, so here goes!
The title of the video was "Love is... honest."
That actually resonates with me quite a bit. My closest friends are the ones with whom I feel safe being honest - whether that honesty is positive or negative. I like to use words of affirmation, but frequently I'll say them in a joking tone for fear of... what, I'm not sure exactly. With my closest friends, I do everything in my power to make sure they know how much I love and appreciate them. I
also like to point out things that aren't good for my friends. If I know they're doing something potentially harmful to themselves, whether physically or psychologically or spiritually, I bring it up. I don't let those things slide with my people. They're my friends! I love them too much for that.
That's how God treats us. He's way better at it than I am, obviously. He is always honest with us. He tells us how He really feels about us - His words of affirmation are found everywhere in the Bible, even the very first chapter:
"And (on the day He created humanity) God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." -Genesis 1:31
We are very good, God's most precious creation, the one He formed in His own image. He loves us so much that we can't even imagine it.
Of course, God is also not willing to let us do bad things. He speaks to us plainly about anger, lust, divorce, retaliation, greed, anxiety, and judgment - and that's just in the Sermon on the Mount alone. God is not okay with it when we harm ourselves or others. He tells us exactly how He feels about that.
Honesty, to me, is the best form of friendship. Sure, good friends make jokes and help you move and feed you pizza, but they also can be trusted with the things that weigh heavy on your heart.
God is that friend for you. He loves you, and because He loves you, He will always be honest with you, and you can always be honest with Him. Lent is the perfect time to reflect on that.
.
.
.
Whoa, what a shift, eh? See, I can still write serious blog posts. Tomorrow, however, look forward to some punny jokes.
Monday was Nonsense, Tuesday was Some Sense, which makes today Much Sense. I asked a good friend what I should write about today, and she thought about it for a minute, and then she said, "Woof." I'm not sure what that means...
She also told me to watch the Lenten devotional video from Hales Corners Lutheran Church and write about that, so here goes!
The title of the video was "Love is... honest."
That actually resonates with me quite a bit. My closest friends are the ones with whom I feel safe being honest - whether that honesty is positive or negative. I like to use words of affirmation, but frequently I'll say them in a joking tone for fear of... what, I'm not sure exactly. With my closest friends, I do everything in my power to make sure they know how much I love and appreciate them. I
also like to point out things that aren't good for my friends. If I know they're doing something potentially harmful to themselves, whether physically or psychologically or spiritually, I bring it up. I don't let those things slide with my people. They're my friends! I love them too much for that.
That's how God treats us. He's way better at it than I am, obviously. He is always honest with us. He tells us how He really feels about us - His words of affirmation are found everywhere in the Bible, even the very first chapter:
"And (on the day He created humanity) God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." -Genesis 1:31
We are very good, God's most precious creation, the one He formed in His own image. He loves us so much that we can't even imagine it.
Of course, God is also not willing to let us do bad things. He speaks to us plainly about anger, lust, divorce, retaliation, greed, anxiety, and judgment - and that's just in the Sermon on the Mount alone. God is not okay with it when we harm ourselves or others. He tells us exactly how He feels about that.
Honesty, to me, is the best form of friendship. Sure, good friends make jokes and help you move and feed you pizza, but they also can be trusted with the things that weigh heavy on your heart.
God is that friend for you. He loves you, and because He loves you, He will always be honest with you, and you can always be honest with Him. Lent is the perfect time to reflect on that.
.
.
.
Whoa, what a shift, eh? See, I can still write serious blog posts. Tomorrow, however, look forward to some punny jokes.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Some Sense (But Not Much)
Hello, friends!
Yesterday was nonsense day, so naturally today is "some sense" day.
I just googled "some sense" to see what would come up, and basically the results were variations on "talk some sense into you." So here is my attempt to talk some sense into all you people out there who clearly need it more than me.
Read books! Even the weird ones (like "The Real Mother Goose" ... yes, I'm still confused and will keep bringing it up) can bring you joy and entertainment and help you learn. I'm currently reading two books, because of who I am as a person, so I recommend "Trickster's Choice" by Tamora Pierce and "Redwoods and Whales" by Phil Collins.
Do your dishes! Normally I would not use an exclamation point in the same context as doing my dishes, one of my least favorite activities, but seriously, clean dishes are so helpful. Your kitchen is always cleaner if you don't have unwashed dishes around, you can then eat off of the clean dishes (and who doesn't love eating?), and it's a relatively quick way to feel productive. If you need a way to feel good about yourself, do your dishes.
Play games! I recently (and mostly accidentally) dominated a game of Life. It was amazing. Please share your most recent game experiences.
Watch basketball. It's awesome. True fact.
And last but not least, find some nice-smelling things and enjoy them. Candles, lotion, shampoo, body wash, bacon, your significant other... It's worth it!
Okay, there's your some sense for the day. Return tomorrow for the finale of the trilogy, "much sense."
Yesterday was nonsense day, so naturally today is "some sense" day.
I just googled "some sense" to see what would come up, and basically the results were variations on "talk some sense into you." So here is my attempt to talk some sense into all you people out there who clearly need it more than me.
Read books! Even the weird ones (like "The Real Mother Goose" ... yes, I'm still confused and will keep bringing it up) can bring you joy and entertainment and help you learn. I'm currently reading two books, because of who I am as a person, so I recommend "Trickster's Choice" by Tamora Pierce and "Redwoods and Whales" by Phil Collins.
Do your dishes! Normally I would not use an exclamation point in the same context as doing my dishes, one of my least favorite activities, but seriously, clean dishes are so helpful. Your kitchen is always cleaner if you don't have unwashed dishes around, you can then eat off of the clean dishes (and who doesn't love eating?), and it's a relatively quick way to feel productive. If you need a way to feel good about yourself, do your dishes.
Play games! I recently (and mostly accidentally) dominated a game of Life. It was amazing. Please share your most recent game experiences.
Watch basketball. It's awesome. True fact.
And last but not least, find some nice-smelling things and enjoy them. Candles, lotion, shampoo, body wash, bacon, your significant other... It's worth it!
Okay, there's your some sense for the day. Return tomorrow for the finale of the trilogy, "much sense."
Monday, March 23, 2020
A Message of Hope (And Elves) (And Bacon) (And Geese)
Hello, friends!
Today, I bring you a message of hope. Hope, of course, stands for Hopping Over Parisian Elves.
That's right, today is nonsense day at Iowa Girl Meets World headquarters. Maybe tomorrow I'll provide some sense, but let's face it, where would the fun be in that?
Have I ever told you about the time I fried bacon on the stove while video chatting with Melissa and managed to make it explode? Probably not, because that just happened. Don't worry, no one was harmed in the making of this story. Mostly.
Fun fact: did you know that, in 1916, certain words that are considered "bad" today were not considered "bad"? It's true. For reference, be sure to read the extremely bizarre rhymes in "The Real Mother Goose," given to fourth and fifth grade classrooms all across the Badger State. I won't give you the wildly inappropriate rhymes (though I will send pictures upon request), but here's a taste of the weirdness:
Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who would n't say his prayers.
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.
I did not make this up. I wish I had made that up, because... what???
One more silly story before I go clean my kitchen, maybe. Behold, my favorite story from when my nephew was little(r). He strongly disapproved of people who did not wear shoes. If you dared to go shoeless in his presence, he would track down your shoes and present then to you so you could put them back on. Because what's the point of having shoes if you are not wearing them? Honestly, people, keep up.
That's all the nonsense I have time for this evening. I hope this made your smile, and I'll see you again tomorrow!
Today, I bring you a message of hope. Hope, of course, stands for Hopping Over Parisian Elves.
That's right, today is nonsense day at Iowa Girl Meets World headquarters. Maybe tomorrow I'll provide some sense, but let's face it, where would the fun be in that?
Have I ever told you about the time I fried bacon on the stove while video chatting with Melissa and managed to make it explode? Probably not, because that just happened. Don't worry, no one was harmed in the making of this story. Mostly.
Fun fact: did you know that, in 1916, certain words that are considered "bad" today were not considered "bad"? It's true. For reference, be sure to read the extremely bizarre rhymes in "The Real Mother Goose," given to fourth and fifth grade classrooms all across the Badger State. I won't give you the wildly inappropriate rhymes (though I will send pictures upon request), but here's a taste of the weirdness:
Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who would n't say his prayers.
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.
I did not make this up. I wish I had made that up, because... what???
One more silly story before I go clean my kitchen, maybe. Behold, my favorite story from when my nephew was little(r). He strongly disapproved of people who did not wear shoes. If you dared to go shoeless in his presence, he would track down your shoes and present then to you so you could put them back on. Because what's the point of having shoes if you are not wearing them? Honestly, people, keep up.
That's all the nonsense I have time for this evening. I hope this made your smile, and I'll see you again tomorrow!
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
The End of the Decade
Hello, friends.
I'm going to do the stereotypical "it's the end of a decade" post here. Because it is! And it's interesting and informative to reflect back on what the last ten years have been.
In 2010, I turned 18 years old. I graduated high school in Iowa and moved to Wisconsin to begin my first year of college.
Since then, holy cow, a lot has happened.
I graduated college in 3 years.
I've had 9 different jobs and lived in 4 states.
I made a lot of new friends and lost touch with some old ones.
I've gained a sister-in-law and seriously cute godchildren.
I became a dog-mom, and then a foster mom, and then an adoptive mom.
The end of 2019 finds me recovering from following my dreams to Oklahoma. My recovery has led me to Milwaukee, with my wallet a little tighter than before, but my heart much fuller.
Looking back at who I was in 2010, I doubt I ever would have guessed what the next ten years would hold. I never thought my first church work job would be campus ministry in Florida. I would have been aghast to think that my first call would end so painfully. I hoped I'd find my husband by now.
So many things are different than I thought they would be, but that doesn't mean they're bad. I'm ending the decade on a good note, in a good place, with good friends. It may be a note I never would have predicted ten years ago, but it's a good note nonetheless.
Along the same lines, I have no guesses as to where I'll be in 2030. I'd like to see myself in a stable job, with a husband and maybe a few more kids (biological, adoptive, foster, whatever). That's as specific as I want to get. God will fill in the blanks. After all, He certainly did in the last ten years. I have faith that whatever He's got planned for the next ten will be equally surprising and ultimately good.
I'm going to do the stereotypical "it's the end of a decade" post here. Because it is! And it's interesting and informative to reflect back on what the last ten years have been.
In 2010, I turned 18 years old. I graduated high school in Iowa and moved to Wisconsin to begin my first year of college.
Since then, holy cow, a lot has happened.
I graduated college in 3 years.
I've had 9 different jobs and lived in 4 states.
I made a lot of new friends and lost touch with some old ones.
I've gained a sister-in-law and seriously cute godchildren.
I became a dog-mom, and then a foster mom, and then an adoptive mom.
The end of 2019 finds me recovering from following my dreams to Oklahoma. My recovery has led me to Milwaukee, with my wallet a little tighter than before, but my heart much fuller.
Looking back at who I was in 2010, I doubt I ever would have guessed what the next ten years would hold. I never thought my first church work job would be campus ministry in Florida. I would have been aghast to think that my first call would end so painfully. I hoped I'd find my husband by now.
So many things are different than I thought they would be, but that doesn't mean they're bad. I'm ending the decade on a good note, in a good place, with good friends. It may be a note I never would have predicted ten years ago, but it's a good note nonetheless.
Along the same lines, I have no guesses as to where I'll be in 2030. I'd like to see myself in a stable job, with a husband and maybe a few more kids (biological, adoptive, foster, whatever). That's as specific as I want to get. God will fill in the blanks. After all, He certainly did in the last ten years. I have faith that whatever He's got planned for the next ten will be equally surprising and ultimately good.
Sunday, September 29, 2019
The Month My World Turned Upside Down
Hello, friends.
September 2019 - the month my whole life turned upside down in the best possible way. Let me walk you through it.
September 5th: the joyful day that I was officially able to welcome my daughter, Tammy, into my family through adoption. This day was such a long time coming, but at the same time, it seems like very little changed for Tammy and me. We've been mother and daughter for three and a half years. A signature on a piece of paper doesn't make that more real. However, it was a very emotional and exciting day. I'm so glad my parents were able to come and witness it!
September 6th: Tammy's last day at Enid High School. She had so many positive experiences there and made a bunch of friends. I know it was hard for her to say goodbye.
September 7th: the day the moving truck came and hauled away pretty much everything we own. Without my parents and Lindsey Duerr, we never would have gotten everything packed in time! We were also blessed to be able to see Pastor House and Audrey.
September 8th: my last day as the DCE at Redeemer. Many of you know that Redeemer was a stressful place for me the past few years. The pastoral vacancy was overwhelming, and even when it finally ended, things didn't get better. I was hoping and praying for over a year that God would lead me and Tammy elsewhere, and as God always does, He opened a new door at exactly the right time. It was bittersweet to leave Redeemer. There were a lot of wonderful people there, and I loved the opportunity to use my gifts and talents to share the good news about Jesus. On the other hand, of course, it was a relief to be able to walk out of those doors knowing that I wouldn't have to go back. Tammy was also able to have one last hurrah at the mall with her friends.
September 9th: the day Tammy, Kensi, and I said goodbye to Enid and began our trek north. We paused to see our friends Samantha, Aaron, and Lydia in Kansas before stopping at my parents' house in Iowa for the night.
September 10th: I turned 28, got to see my brother, moved into an apartment in Greenfield, WI, and partied with Lindsey, Bryan, and Melissa. You know, an average day.
September 12th: I started my new job at Concordia Lutheran School in Sturtevant as a teacher's aid for the fourth and fifth grade classes. Meanwhile, the moving truck arrived and my apartment became an obstacle course of cardboard boxes.
September 13th: I acquired a second job as the Customer Service Representative at Mrs. Myers' Reading Room in Mt. Pleasant, just down the road from the school.
September 15th: Tammy and I went to Hales Corners Lutheran Church for the first time. It was so refreshing to worship without working, and with friends! I feel like I could get used to this.
September 17th: Tammy started at Greenfield High School. Go, Hustlin' Hawks!
September 21st: Lindsey's Harry Potter themed bachelorette party with Sara and Nicole! What an exceptionally fun day.
September 22nd: We spent the afternoon at Lindsey's apartment, where we helped prepare wedding stuff and watched the Packer game and generally enjoyed ourselves. What is this concept of having friends to hang out with?
September 29th: Tammy started her last year of Confirmation at Hales Corners. We just got back a couple of hours ago, and my heart is so full.
These are not the only things that have happened. Tammy and I have explored Milwaukee a bit and discovered fun places like a park near our apartment and this small lake you might have heard of called Lake Michigan. I've seen my friends several times a week; they've helped us assemble furniture and unpack boxes and go on Target runs and just generally been amazing. I was telling Melissa earlier today (in person!) that although I am fully aware that moving to Wisconsin is not a magical solution for depression, there is something incredibly curative about having a support system around me. I feel like the parts of me that are broken and bruised are steadily healing. It will take time. But there's nothing I can't do with these people by my side. With them, I feel like I can conquer the world.
September 2019 - the month my whole world turned upside down. I'm in a healthy place, with people I love, jobs where I feel appreciated, and an apartment in which my dog can sleep on my bed.
Life is good.
September 2019 - the month my whole life turned upside down in the best possible way. Let me walk you through it.
September 5th: the joyful day that I was officially able to welcome my daughter, Tammy, into my family through adoption. This day was such a long time coming, but at the same time, it seems like very little changed for Tammy and me. We've been mother and daughter for three and a half years. A signature on a piece of paper doesn't make that more real. However, it was a very emotional and exciting day. I'm so glad my parents were able to come and witness it!
September 6th: Tammy's last day at Enid High School. She had so many positive experiences there and made a bunch of friends. I know it was hard for her to say goodbye.
September 7th: the day the moving truck came and hauled away pretty much everything we own. Without my parents and Lindsey Duerr, we never would have gotten everything packed in time! We were also blessed to be able to see Pastor House and Audrey.
September 8th: my last day as the DCE at Redeemer. Many of you know that Redeemer was a stressful place for me the past few years. The pastoral vacancy was overwhelming, and even when it finally ended, things didn't get better. I was hoping and praying for over a year that God would lead me and Tammy elsewhere, and as God always does, He opened a new door at exactly the right time. It was bittersweet to leave Redeemer. There were a lot of wonderful people there, and I loved the opportunity to use my gifts and talents to share the good news about Jesus. On the other hand, of course, it was a relief to be able to walk out of those doors knowing that I wouldn't have to go back. Tammy was also able to have one last hurrah at the mall with her friends.
September 9th: the day Tammy, Kensi, and I said goodbye to Enid and began our trek north. We paused to see our friends Samantha, Aaron, and Lydia in Kansas before stopping at my parents' house in Iowa for the night.
September 10th: I turned 28, got to see my brother, moved into an apartment in Greenfield, WI, and partied with Lindsey, Bryan, and Melissa. You know, an average day.
September 12th: I started my new job at Concordia Lutheran School in Sturtevant as a teacher's aid for the fourth and fifth grade classes. Meanwhile, the moving truck arrived and my apartment became an obstacle course of cardboard boxes.
September 13th: I acquired a second job as the Customer Service Representative at Mrs. Myers' Reading Room in Mt. Pleasant, just down the road from the school.
September 15th: Tammy and I went to Hales Corners Lutheran Church for the first time. It was so refreshing to worship without working, and with friends! I feel like I could get used to this.
September 17th: Tammy started at Greenfield High School. Go, Hustlin' Hawks!
September 21st: Lindsey's Harry Potter themed bachelorette party with Sara and Nicole! What an exceptionally fun day.
September 22nd: We spent the afternoon at Lindsey's apartment, where we helped prepare wedding stuff and watched the Packer game and generally enjoyed ourselves. What is this concept of having friends to hang out with?
September 29th: Tammy started her last year of Confirmation at Hales Corners. We just got back a couple of hours ago, and my heart is so full.
These are not the only things that have happened. Tammy and I have explored Milwaukee a bit and discovered fun places like a park near our apartment and this small lake you might have heard of called Lake Michigan. I've seen my friends several times a week; they've helped us assemble furniture and unpack boxes and go on Target runs and just generally been amazing. I was telling Melissa earlier today (in person!) that although I am fully aware that moving to Wisconsin is not a magical solution for depression, there is something incredibly curative about having a support system around me. I feel like the parts of me that are broken and bruised are steadily healing. It will take time. But there's nothing I can't do with these people by my side. With them, I feel like I can conquer the world.
September 2019 - the month my whole world turned upside down. I'm in a healthy place, with people I love, jobs where I feel appreciated, and an apartment in which my dog can sleep on my bed.
Life is good.
Thursday, August 1, 2019
What I'm Looking For in a Man
Hello, friends.
I haven't tried any dating sites or apps lately, but when I did, I was always tripped up by the questions about what I'm looking for in a guy. I always listed things like kindness and faith and a good sense of humor, but in my head, here's what I'd like my significant other to be like:
I haven't tried any dating sites or apps lately, but when I did, I was always tripped up by the questions about what I'm looking for in a guy. I always listed things like kindness and faith and a good sense of humor, but in my head, here's what I'd like my significant other to be like:
- Gentle like Newt Scamander
- Smart like Cisco Ramon
- Fearless like Eliot Spencer
- Creative like Flynn Carsen
- Adventurous like Hiccup
- Selfless like Steve Trevor
I could go on, but I think we can glean two things from this. One, all of these people are, well, at least moderately fictional. Two, apparently I mostly like guys with long and/or casually messy hair? Take note, boys.
I want my love to be magical, you know? I want to have an epic arc that ends in an exhilarating kiss in the rain. But the fact is that those arcs are fictional, just like all of my ideal men are. None of my friends or family have met their significant others that way. I don't know anyone who regularly fights bad guys with their spouse (which possibly means your secret identities are working exceptionally well). Point is, what I'm looking for, I'm unlikely to ever find.
I want to ask, how have you married or engaged or dating people done it? How have you managed this seemingly impossible feat? But the fact is that everyone is different. There's no secret ingredient. There's no special formula. There are no perfect relationships.
So what do I do now?
I wait.
I live my life - I don't put it on hold until I find someone.
I be my best self.
My life is not defined by my relationship status, but that doesn't mean I can't think about it and desire a mate. I'm allowed to fantasize, as ridiculous as my fantasies might be. (My future husband will be a bow-and-arrow-wielding billionaire with amazing hair and doey eyes when he looks at me...) Ahem. What was I saying? Oh, yes. Ridiculous fantasies.
My life is not defined by my relationship status - but it is affected by it. My task right now is to live in hope, focus on the present, and remember that even when it feels like it, I am never really alone.
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